I have been married for a year in a relationship with my husband for 3 years I have not yet conceived a child.I know it is not him because he has an 8 yr old son and her is in great physical health. I am in great health also but I just can not conceive.I really know that it is me in more ways then that. Just 5 years ago when I was dating another guy for 4 yrs I still could not conceive and he has a son also that is12 yrs. old now. I am afraid to go to a doctor because he might tell me i can not conceive. That is why I want to adopt or be a foster parent .Am I wrong for not going to the doctor to find out whats wrong and leaving my husband in the dark?
2006-10-26 12:05:08 · 12 answers · asked by Jamie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Not only are you wrong for not going to a qualified doctor, you don't sound mature enough to be a parent to a child. You scare me.
2006-10-26 12:07:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mam: I am afraid you are wrong in not telling your husband about all of this. It may be that inside he
has the highest hopes for a child of his own but
never expressed that directly to you. On the other hand,
he may just be trying to please you with a child, and
actually not be concerned one way of the other. You
will never know, and it will haunt you every night when
you slip into bed with him. When you have talked over the issue of child bearing yourselves completely and gotten two doctors' opinions, then might be the time to broach adoption with your husband "if" (and this is a big IF) he seems determined to have a child and you cannot conceive. It is also possible that you could have an egg
implanted in your womb by a specialist doctor and have a child that way. It would in most all respects be yours.
Once it opened its eyes and saw you it would love you like nothing ever before, so you should give that a thought prior to adoption. Share the discussion with your husband and both of you visit the doctor who will do the
operation.
I have a baby girl 14 months old, and I am 63 years old.
So I know the joy of having a child of my own.
Hugs and kindest regards,
Zah
2006-10-26 12:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by zahbudar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fear is not a reason to go to the doctor. You deserve to know what is going on with your body. Being unable to conceive may only be a symptom to a larger problem. If you are considering having a child then I assume that you have a loving supportive husband. I am sure he would want you to go to the doctor and make sure that you are ok. How long has it been since you had your last GYN appt? Make an appt and find out what is going on. Your husband deserves to know and should be allowed to support you through this. You have already faced the worst the dr can tell you. Don't allow fear to rule your life.
2006-10-26 12:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by chelle4900 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure if this is an issue about right and wrong. you might just want to go to the doctor just to make sure everything is okay physically with you. You never know, the doctor may find that you are able to conceive. But there are also thousands of children that need to be adopted or in need of good foster parent(s) Either way, I'm sure you'd make a wonderful mother however it is that you come by your children.
2006-10-26 12:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by baybeegrl5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's understandable that you're afraid, but since you want to adopt or be a foster parent anyway, it wouldn't be that much different if you knew the truth. Unless your husband really wants a child of his own blood, I personally think it's alright to keep him in the dark if he doesn't mind adopting. However, he might figure it out anyway if you never conceive after a long time of trying.
2006-10-26 12:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by JZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the doctor it may only be a little problem and not as bad as you think it could be you need to relax and put your mind at rest and also yes you are being unfair on your hubby dont leave him in the dark arent you two a team!!!
2006-10-26 12:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to the doctor every year for a check up. If you can't concieve there is probably a reason why. They might be able to help you.
2006-10-26 12:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by Joy! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go and see the doctor because maybe there is nothing wrong you and you are just under a lot of presure. So go and get checked and good luck....... :)
2006-10-26 12:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by Madelyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are wrong for not going to the doctor, It take two people to make a baby,so don't blame your self darling, this is not a crime you have committed. so don't worry be happy.
2006-10-26 12:11:01 · answer #9 · answered by boy_jam_arch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't leave him in the dark, but the decision to go to a dr. is totally up to you. but it would be good to know, and rule out any other possible health problems.
2006-10-26 12:07:54 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Sweet Girl♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋