need help from the adult ladies out there, it would be greatly appreciated. I need to know how to read this situation so I don’t make an a** of myself tomorrow (I’m 30, and this girl is 34, neither of us have ever been married). I went out with this girl twice, the last time was a year and a half ago. The first time we went out things went ok and we made plans to go out again. Then one of her longtime friends got in the way and they began seeing each other. She lives one hour away from me so it would have been a long distance relationship. She broke up with him a few months later. We went out again shortly thereafter. I went to see her. At the end of the date, she said that she would have to come down to see me next time. she had indicated previously that the distance turns her off because she has to drive 45 minutes everyday to work and that was what was precluding her from starting a relationship with me.. It’s really complicated, but like an idiot I never asked her down because I kept coming back to the “she doesn’t like the distance thing so she isn’t really interested”. I didn’t want to have to deal with the rejection because she is an awesome girl and I could have seen myself falling hard for her and then end up hurt. If I missed my chance with her I’ll never forgive myself. Here’s the thing. We’ve kept in touch consistently for the last year and a half and email nearly daily (sometimes to the point of excessive since we are both at work!). Sometimes about absolutely nothing at all, but other times about life and what’s happening in each of our lives. Over this time I’ve begun to realize that I have some serious feelings for her, like she might be THE ONE. Back in January I realized this and I asked her out to lunch but she said that she had started seeing someone and “didn’t think it would be fair for all of us involved” to get together. So we went on like usual. I casually mentioned to her about a month ago that I had started seeing somebody (I’m not anymore but she doesn’t know that), and she immediately responded by suggesting that we needed to get together sometime. She is planning on coming down to my town to do some shopping and wanted to get together with me afterwards. Today, she mentioned that she’d like to switch up the schedule though, that she wants to see me first then do the shopping later. Can you give me your interpretation of the situation? Am I in the dreaded “friend zone” or is there a chance she is waiting to see my reaction and if I still have interest? I need the female perspective. Thanks in advance for your help, I am an absolutely pathetic mess.
2006-10-26 11:59:50 · 4 answers · asked by kjhenkel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay. I DID read your whole question. And, I have to say it's a tough call. From personal experience, I would say that you may not be in the 'friend zone.' If she thinks you are still seeing someone, it could surely be that the reason she switched up the schedule is to see how 'available' you are/ might be. It's a 'want what you can't have' situation. I know I cannot resist a good challenge, and the last time I was persistent with that I was with the guy for 2 years. But some women are different. She may just think of you as a friend. Do yourself a favor. Do NOT tell her you are not with the girl. You should see what kind of signals she's giving off towards you. And DON'T cheat on your pretend girlfriend. (once a cheater always a cheater) After your get-together, send her an e-mail/ call her whatever, and tell her how great it was to see her and how much you missed her, and be honest about your feelings, but don't be too sappy about it. Something like, 'a lot of feelings came flooding back when I saw you the other day'. Things will work out for the best. Good Luck!
2006-10-26 12:13:59 · answer #1 · answered by Zana-Di Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tred very careful, dont give up yet but dont let her mess you around from what you say it seems that she is interested in you but maybe more in someone else if they live closer to her!!!!
I would give it one last bash -so to speak- but if she starts to mess around or drop big hints about the distance, then say to her outright that if she is keen to give this relationship ago then distance shoudnt matter.
Hope it all works out for you
2006-10-26 19:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her to dinner and be totally open and honest with her. you'll regret it if you don't let her know how you truly feel. but if she doesn't have the same feelings for you, you need to break contact for a while to get over her so you don't keep pining over her. all you can do is try, though, so good luck!!
2006-10-26 19:07:50 · answer #3 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
was it really neccessary to write a story? do u really think anyone read your whole question? jeez
2006-10-26 19:03:57 · answer #4 · answered by xtropicaldreamz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋