right this guy of mine is just a mate and that is all he is ever going to be. but he really doesn't get the picture all he keeps saying to me is that i love you. he is my best t mate and always there for me but i don't think i can handle this pressure.
i really like his best mate aswell which makes it so hard for me. i love my mate to pieces just not in that lovey dovey way how can i tell him to get over it with out being horible??
2006-10-26 11:48:26 · 26 answers · asked by xx-bbz-xx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
why are girls so hard to understand?
2006-10-26 11:49:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
hi Hun,me again.
my best mate done this to me just before i got married and he moved away.
have you tried just laughing it off as eventually he will get the picture but without feeling stupid cuz the last thing you want to do is lose a good mate by making him think he has made a fool out of himself cuz you turned him down.
so try that and if that don't work and he still goes on about it, just sit him down and say look (his name) i love ya to bits,BUT only as my mate, cuz you are like a brother to me and i don't want to spoil it. He may not like it and may not speak to you for a few days but trust me good friends are hard to find and even harder to forget, so he will be back he will prob just need some time to realise whats happened and to regain his confidence but you need to tell him straight and make sure he listens otherwise he will just feel like he has been strung a long no matter how many times you have told him no and then it will just cause more trouble than its worth.
Good luck babe
2006-10-27 18:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by only me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with him straightforward and gentle.
Try to set him up with a girl .
He is lacking that particular kind of chutzpah that you crave the chemistry is completly lacking .He is your best friend .Dont entertain the idea of going out with him in any way shape or form but realize people change .Your friend is but a young buck with no antlers.
Sometimes that 7point rack of antlers or chutzpah if you will is learned at the school of hard knocks Sometimes this happens sometimes it doesnt .
2006-10-26 19:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by bolounit1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are not really that hard to understand. Let's face it, we want the same things from women as you want from us.
Open communication isn't always there but we do crave it very much. Trust is important and yes, we are taught not to show our emotional sides and thus repress alot of the talking part. Encourage him to be himself and tell him it is ok to talk and to speak freely with you. He will be very happy when he knows that you are there for him in this way.
We want genuine friendship as well. Seems hard to believe, but we really do. We just hate it when we are used for our money,knowledge and our material things that we own for just that. If you really like the guy, you have to tell him that all those things are not part of the scenario, but genuine friendship is.
When we speak about genuine friendship, we are speaking about wanting only the very best for you and only want you to be happy no matter what. We don't have to ask you for anything because we have the self confidence, self esteem and self worth to get anything material for ourselves on our own. We just want to share our world with you and grow as individuals with you at the same time growing as a couple. You have to acknowledge this and tell your guy friend that you are an independent woman and don't want anything from him except friendship itself.
These two things will make a world of difference. Once again, you have to encourage him to talk and to be open to that and genuine friendship with you.
2006-10-26 18:54:43 · answer #4 · answered by snorkelman_37 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way that you are going to get rid of him is to be honest with him. But unless you are actualy in love with his best mate dont go with him. He will feel betrayed by you both and he will probably be losing two friends. You and his other best mate. If you have any respect for him find some1 that he doesnt know personaly.
2006-10-26 18:54:22 · answer #5 · answered by shining star 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be Honest With Him, Let him kNOW It's Not Going to Happen.
Once You've Done that Wait A Suitable Period And You Can
Shag His Mate....Simple..Like Most Men.......
2006-10-26 18:51:25 · answer #6 · answered by ralf5@btinternet.com 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Show him your question.. Its always hard to accept that the person you love does not feel the same way and that you will never have the relationship that you wish you had.. unfortunately that type of relationship requires that 2 people feel the same way. Its a hard truth to handle but its a necessary one. Best of luck to you both.
2006-10-26 18:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by Jason H 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just sit him down and tell him that while you value his friendship, a relationship is not in the cards for you guys. Gently tell him that you have your eye on someone else. Tell him that you value his friendship too much to jepordize it by trying to be more than friends. He will respect you more if you are upfront and truthful with him.
2006-10-26 18:52:44 · answer #8 · answered by ~MandiNic~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well talk to him if he is mature enough he would understand you however if he's a child well he will make you feel bad about yourself but i'd suggest you to talk to him and explain things to him then you can move on with your life
2006-10-26 19:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by Lord Glyde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with this situation is to Communicate with him... ask him questions and talk to him about your feelings and how things have to change.. There is no other way to deal with this without talking one on one face to face to deal with this problem..
2006-10-26 18:57:26 · answer #10 · answered by maria U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you have to be to be kind. You see the relationship one way he see's it another. If you cant convince him to be just a friend he has to go, however difficult that may be.
2006-10-26 19:38:09 · answer #11 · answered by malcy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋