need help from the adult ladies out there, it would be greatly appreciated. I need to know how to read this situation so I don’t make an a** of myself tomorrow (I’m 30, and this girl is 34, neither of us have ever been married). I went out with this girl twice, the last time was a year and a half ago. The first time we went out things went ok and we made plans to go out again. Then one of her longtime friends got in the way and they began seeing each other. She lives one hour away from me so it would have been a long distance relationship. She broke up with him a few months later. We went out again shortly thereafter. I went to see her. At the end of the date, she said that she would have to come down to see me next time. she had indicated previously that the distance turns her off because she has to drive 45 minutes everyday to work and that was what was precluding her from starting a relationship with me.. It’s really complicated, but like an idiot I never asked her down because I kept coming back to the “she doesn’t like the distance thing so she isn’t really interested”. I didn’t want to have to deal with the rejection because she is an awesome girl and I could have seen myself falling hard for her and then end up hurt. If I missed my chance with her I’ll never forgive myself. Here’s the thing. We’ve kept in touch consistently for the last year and a half and email nearly daily (sometimes to the point of excessive since we are both at work!). Sometimes about absolutely nothing at all, but other times about life and what’s happening in each of our lives. Over this time I’ve begun to realize that I have some serious feelings for her, like she might be THE ONE. Back in January I realized this and I asked her out to lunch but she said that she had started seeing someone and “didn’t think it would be fair for all of us involved” to get together. So we went on like usual. I casually mentioned to her about a month ago that I had started seeing somebody (I’m not anymore but she doesn’t know that), and she immediately responded by suggesting that we needed to get together sometime. She is planning on coming down to my town to do some shopping and wanted to get together with me afterwards. Today, she mentioned that she’d like to switch up the schedule though, that she wants to see me first then do the shopping later. Can you give me your interpretation of the situation? Am I in the dreaded “friend zone” or is there a chance she is waiting to see my reaction and if I still have interest? I need the female perspective. Thanks in advance for your help, I am an absolutely pathetic mess.
2006-10-26 11:39:58 · 10 answers · asked by kjhenkel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me like she likes a chase. She is only interested when you are unavailable. I think I would see how this next date goes and decide from there. If she seems interested then go for it but if she is still throwing you mixed signals then I would just move on as hard as that may seem. Good Luck!! :)
2006-10-26 11:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by fooluvver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's interesting that she wanted to come and see you as soon as she found out you were seeing someone else. I reckon she still has feelings for you and thinking about you with someone else has made her realise how much.
You said you never called her to arrange to meet when you were going out with her before - maybe she took this as rejection and went out with the other guy on the rebound.
I say wait to see what she has to say when she visits you and try to talk to her about the things that have happened between you in the past. Don't have high expectations of the outcome though, to avoid disappointment.
I also worry about the distance between you both, perhaps you should consider taking steps to be closer together if you do get back together. In my experience long distance relationships rarely succeed.
Best of luck, my fingers are crossed for you x
2006-10-26 19:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like their is something or someone standing in the way and she is not being exactly clear on her intentions. It's funny how you asked her out and she declined and then you told her that you were seeing someone and she wants to go out with you anyway. I would definitely stay in touch but don't pass up a good thing waiting for her, she may never be ready.
2006-10-26 18:49:42 · answer #3 · answered by Vernee B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just not that into you, but like most of us manipulative women..she wants you to be enamored of her. If it were meant to be it would not be so hard. She has chosen two men over you and has used distance as an excuse. If I really really liked a guy and I thought we had a shot NOTHING would get in my way of seeing him. Not an hours drive and certainly not shopping. Move on...you deserve better.
2006-10-26 18:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the girl still got something for you. and yes she wants to see how you gonna react when you see her. just play it cool like you always did when you all went out. but the driving distance should not be a problem to come see someone you like or love. i'll take the plane to come see you baby
2006-10-26 18:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by honeyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go w/ur heart but seems to me that if she got in a relationship w/sum1 ELSE while yall were going out, then she dont rlly care bout you. find sum1 else. rlly...shes 4 yrs older than u :|
2006-10-26 18:43:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yopu should ask her if she whats to make it work or not instead of getting caught up and fall hard on your face.
2006-10-26 18:45:02 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both care enough about one another, you will find a way to fix this situation.
2006-10-26 18:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I only read the last line and that one seems accurate.
2006-10-26 18:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by nobudE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she's reconsidering your relationship
2006-10-26 18:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋