sometimes its depressing to think about.
Im 24 married with 2 kids, love my family but its like sometimes I feel the same way. I guess its been engrained in me since I was a kid, My grandparents always told me this, why do people think that way?
2006-10-26 11:25:40 · 22 answers · asked by beautifullybroken 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Its pretty bad that a tiny amount of you have sort have insulted me for this question, I never said I agree'd completely with this statement, I love my family and devote myself completely to them, but there is no me time anymore. Im a stay at home mother who doesnt get out much, I used to work and support my whole household, for four out of six years of our marriage, Now I find myself with nothing to do and no one to talk to, and that's why I sometimes feel like my personal life is over. But please I never said I didnt love and enjoy spending time with my family. I just feel like I dont know myself or who I am anymore. I just thought it was really mean of some to jump to conclusions about me, when I didnt say I hate being married with kids. That isnt what I meant. To those of you who didnt I really do appreciate the comfort, and support. I guess I am just in a depressive rut lately. Thanks for being understanding and helpful. Im not insulting everyone just a few of the answers were
2006-10-26 17:13:41 · update #1
a little mean spirited, if you knew me you would know that I am completely devoted to my family. Im in no way selfish. I was actually hoping someone would help me to feel like there was more to married life, I need to get out of the house more than once a month and make some friends because I do miss having friends. I know this is why I feel the way I do, not because I just wanna go out and live my life like I was single again
2006-10-26 17:16:42 · update #2
Don't listen to some of these smart*sses. I know exactly how you feel. I'm married to my second husband have 2 children of my own and 2 stepsons and I feel this way every now and then too. I'm also totally devoted to my family too. I quit my job almost 2 yrs. ago so I could be at home with the kids, at least until I get the youngest into school anyway, and it seems like I spend so much time at home cleaning and cooking and with kids that I just can't wait to get out to pay bills. lol. Sad I know, but I don't have any friends since I quit working. Oh well, that's just the way it is, but I'm pretty content most of the time so I don't worry about it.
2006-10-26 18:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those are the people with unhappy fulfilling lives. I have been married for almost ten years married at 19, my husband and I now have 5 children. I love my life, my family is my life. The times when things get rough I remind myself that I am where those people who are out partying are going to want to be/wish they had the life that I now have and worked hard to establish. I am usually never lonely or trying to 'get laid' or any of that nonsense. Life is not over you are just beginning a new journey and it's excited and difficult filling and fulfilling at least to me. I don't know what, where or how I'd be without my children, they look up to me for love, guidance and fun. They bring so much joy and happiness and you'll laugh like you've never laughed before. Sometime a night in is WAY better than a night out. your heart gets a lot more out of it! It is never going to always be GREAT, EASY or FUN but hang in there and be positive to make and get the most out of your life. Be commited to it and loyal and the love will never be regretted. I hope this helps. Life is not over when you are married and have kids, you can still date your mate, go out on the town/ get beautiful and handsome for your love(r) , listen to music, it's called a babysitter for the romantic nights. The fact that you don't go out -always- makes it more special and give you both something wonderful to look forward to. And, children, well ya gotta love the groupies, they are the ones who actually love you back just for being you and that's real. May you have all of the best and love with your family and all the family adventures to come, keep your head up, there's nothing like family!
2006-10-26 11:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by LaNi 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am married with two awesome kids, ages 7 and 16 months; and I must say that my life has been more hectic and less casual since becoming a mother, but at the same time, I feel I have more meaning to my existence.
I spent most of my pre-motherhood life trying to be spectacular, but I never really cared what anyone else thought about me - I was just me. So - what's the point of being spectacular when I was the only one I was being spectacular for? I mean, hells yeah, it's very important to value yourself, but after having my kids, I now know exactly who I am spectacular for - my husband and kids. It's not only having them with me, but knowing that I am responsible for setting a proper example of what a woman, wife and mother is, and exactly how they need to be respected and treated (I have two boys). Knowing that my boys will not mistreat their wives and daughters, not put them through what I went through in my life.
Hope this helps!
2006-10-26 11:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by baabaababy77 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your OLD life is over dear. Now get on with your NEW life.
Take control of it. Make it worth living. Show your kids how life should be lived. Show your hubby how to love. You can make your life how you want it. Sure, it can be messy and hard work, but this is your life. You don't get another one. Start right now by showing your kids and yer man how much you love them.
Don't worry about the response, either. YOU are the only person you can control. YOU be loving and kind, and demand that that the other members of your household are, too. You'll be amazed.
2006-10-26 12:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I certainly don't feel that way, and you don't have to either. Your life has just begun, you will be still young enough when they are grown. I have gotten happier with my life every decade. Don't fall into the trap of believing that you have to be like them.
Think about it, you have to be close to home only until they get into school, hardly a big divot in your otherwise long life. Reproduction and the rearing of young is at most a couple of decades out of what, eight or so? There is much to be done, stay active physically and mentally, and there is no stopping you.
2006-10-26 11:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by finaldx 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
They say that because your whole life changes. It is not about you anymore. It is now about your husband, your kids and then lastly yourself. I don't look at it that way anymore. I used to also when my kids were as young as yours. That is because they are still a lot of work. When they are old enough to have an intellectual conversation with you, your feelings will dramatically change. Your life has just begun and it will only get better. Hang in there!
2006-10-26 11:29:49 · answer #6 · answered by roxy 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm 29 w/o children and no husband. Sometimes I yearn for that family that you have and other times I love having the freedom that I have. So look at your family and appreciate each and every moment that you have with them. Your children will get older and move out, but because you are so young, you have so much to look forward to. There's no day but today so live each moment like it's your last. You are truly blessed.
2006-10-26 11:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Truly, the adventure is just beginning!
It's through your children that you get to leave a LEGACY rather than just an estate.
You're not likely to get kids that are just like you were when you were a kid sooooooo, you get to learn and grow along with them.
When you learn what your children's gifts are and build a platform of success under them, and get to see them SUCCEED, well THAT is the BIGGEST source of satisfaction that I know of! You're in for a treat - begin to enjoy it NOW because 18 years is going to go by FAST.
2006-10-26 11:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by WindWalker10 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The people that say that have not felt happiness in the changes of the marriage and children *or they were joking...
Or they really didn't like who they married or the kids they had.
Life can feel like it is mundane but that is when you see something through your spouse or child's eye that makes you stop and think and see it differently.. and that is what it is all about
2006-10-26 12:44:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't mean negatively. Your "life is over" means you stop thinking only about yourself. When you're married, you learn to put others first. You work as a team. You have a partner you sacrifice for and make compromises with. Your wants are secondary to the needs of the children. Your lonely, single days are replaced with the highs and lows of marriage and parenting.
Living only to please yourself eventually becomes boring and makes you feel shallow. Married with kids means you have a full, joyful life that looks outward, rather than inward.
2006-10-26 11:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋