So this past week I flew up to minnesota to visit my dying grandma. My mom really disrespected me. She insisted on me buying her ciggeretts and I didn't believe in supporting her habit, she harassed me about it constantly. She even accuses ME of being selfish! She embarassed me in public by taking cig butts from the ashtray outside the grocery store and asking people at the nursing home my grandma was staying at to "bum" some cigs. I left minnesota back home with a bad feeling. She's pretty much been like this my whole life....
DO YOU THINK I SHOULD CUT HER OUT OF MY LIFE? I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. SHE EMBARASSES ME SO MUCH.
SHE NEEDS TO BE IN A PSYCH WARD.
SHE'S AN ALCOHOLIC
SHE HAS A PERSONALITY DISORDER
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, PLEASE HELP.
2006-10-26 11:22:34 · 16 answers · asked by twistedangel4023 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mom was kinda like that when she was active in her alcohol addiction, and since she has been in recovery she has changed 100%, alcohol was her biggest and worst factor. And most embaressing! But if you love her she will need your support,focus on the good in her life, let her know that she is needed and wanted in your life and others lives also. But to get her to stop drinking altogether is up to her! She MUST have the desire to STOP! She will be very sick, She may even need medical treatment. It is a very seriouse disease. But she can over come it. Good Luck to You and Your Mother, and God Bless You Both. You are very brave to ask for help, You must love her or you wouldn't be asking, also I sense your angry?.. You must put that aside, I was that way also, but once she puts the booze down its gonna get worse before it gets better. You will have to love her and support her unconditionally every day, no matter how she acts or what she says. Once she is well enough, and if she remembers her actions and words she'll come around and apologize. I really do wish you the best of Luck. I know where you are and its a crappy spot, but with you on your mothers side, she will pull through, and so will you. Time will heal the past, but do not dwell on it.
2006-10-26 11:43:21 · answer #1 · answered by Missy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think u should support her habit. and i don't think u are being selfish. here's the question. how is it going to kill u to buy one pack for your mom? forget all your moral objections and think about it. was she a smoker b4 u got there? is she gonna smoke when u leave? u obviously live in another state so u probably don't spend THAT much time around her. u only get one mother right? next time u go, u don't hafta buy her the cigs yourself. but if she's askin u she must not have the money, so why not say: " u know how i feel about u smoking mom so i won't buy them for u. but here's $20 or $50 or $100. do whatever u want with it." that's it. no arguments. u leave a few day's later and forget about it.
2006-10-26 11:47:28 · answer #2 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a million. CHeese edam 2. fire 3. Eats Shoots and Leaves 4. An onion 5. E 6. tournament. Then u can easy each little thing else with the small flame. 7. Silence 8. A puma is the comparable as a couger 9. Mt. Everest. It became nevertheless the tallest Mountain. We in simple terms hant disconvered it yet. 10. Hawaii Hahaha, can u tell me if i've got been given all of them???
2016-10-16 10:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by hultman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to cut down a bit on the exposure to "Mom" and perhaps control the exposure to non-public places if mom's social graces are slipping ... choose the place you wish to have Mom time...... Your right about the smoking thing ...but it's her life ...leave her to live it, shorten it, waste it ....... what ever.... When you do choose to have Mom time..... bring her a pack of cigs to smooth over the rough edges ... just be sure to leave before she smokes the entire pack!!
Look to the good things mom has to offer .... she may not be around another 100 years .... take the good experiences and the wisdom she has to share with you.
We all have friends or family that do some off beat stuff from time to time..... But without the strange and stormy behavior ... we would not enjoy the smooth sailing.
2006-10-26 11:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its hard to think that the one person who should love you the most in life, doesnt. I know exactly how you feel. My mother is only nice to me when she wants money or wants me to buy her something. Its always been like this. Since I was little I have always been treated like **** by her. And its hard to think that you should cut her out of your life, she is your mom after all. You dont have to cut her out of your life, just distance yourself from her enough so that she doesnt affect your life. Call her and see if she is doing okay, that stops you from actually seeing her. If you do go see her, then go maybe once a month. Just think that if you cut her out of your life, you are going to regret it when she passes. Try to be a little bit understanding, everyone has a struggle to live through, just dont let her ruin your life. Good luck, I know that it will be hard, trust me, but all the things you go through in life will make you a much better person if you use the experience as a chance to learn.
2006-10-26 11:38:23 · answer #5 · answered by Livin the life.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some help from someone and your right she does need help. Don't kick her out of your life becasue it is at this very moment that she really needs you to help stop all these habits. Yo9u need to find out why she acts like this and what provokes her. She may say alot of things to you but bear with it and get help that is the most important thing help her save her life just the way she gave birth you and gave you life. But I can understand that your tired and don't think you can bear it anymore but atleast help her find some help. Thats the first step not to walk way from your mother and leave her where she is. And anywayz if you do help send her for some help you will be away from her but at the same time she'll be helped whereas if you just left you'd be away from her but you have left her to suffer. Be the bigger person and don't stoop down to that level.
2006-10-26 12:33:12 · answer #6 · answered by dm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, if I were in your position I would not completely cut her out of my life. I would keep in contact through email or phone calls but keep it short and sweet "Hi mom, how was your day?" and stuff like that. Don't allow the convo to get too deep or personal. I have to keep things short and sweet with my mother or else BOOM!! Another fight happens. This way, she's a part of my life, I don't feel guilty, there's no fighting, and I have the right amount of distance. Hope this helps!
2006-10-26 11:51:49 · answer #7 · answered by italiana2683 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive dealt with all sorts of embarrasment from my mother in the past. She has been very difficult to deal with at times. There is really nothing you can do to change someone who is unwilling to change. We can only change ourselves and how we deal with people. My advice...since you don't seem to live close to her there is no need to cut her out of your life. I would talk to her and let her know how she makes you feel. Let her know that while she is your mother and you love her you simply can't be around her if she continues to disrespect and embarrass you. You're an adult and not responsible for a parents actions. All you can do is to learn from her mistakes, and make sure you don't repeat them with any children you may have. Good luck
2006-10-26 11:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by strawberry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
parents think they have a given right to do whatever just because you are their children..but on the flip side she is your mother and you have to deal with her...I cant stand my mom sometimes but she is my mom..if she passed away would you grieve??? Most likely, you would but if you are saying that you cant take all this torture then think about this?...you need to be there for her...you may not like the way she treats you or embarasses you but shes your mom...what can you do? talk to her before you go your separate ways...my mom used to meddle in my life constantly and told me what to do and even after i got married she still butt in but shes my mom...She finally said hey its your life ...you dont need me to run it do you?...I cant hold your hand anymore...which is frustrating when you do need her support...you will need her in your life in the future...she raised you right ?..you turned out ok ...but i can understand the frustration...til then when you see her hold your breath for the time being....remember you didnt choose your parents but you can always cope with them...if you are worried that she might hurt herself express your concern...chances are she will listen to you and if she doesnt then you tried...relationships are far from a piece of cake you know you need to work at this a little harder before you throw in your towel and its your mom ...she does need that much ....if you cant take it anymore you can suggest counseling or some intervention but never cut her out ..
2006-10-26 11:34:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people have an addictive nature; they can't have one of anything. Once they try something that pleases, they crave for more whether it be drink, food, smokes or anything that can stimulate certain senses. There is no quick answer; perhaps group therapy.
2006-10-26 11:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋