Your under eighteen teenage daughter is impregnated,how do you solve the problem?

Question

Assume you have a daughter, a boy impregnated her,would you foresake the daughter,seek redress action against the boy,or would be happy about it.

Answer 1

IF that would have occured, the boy would have to take responsibility for the care of the child, my daughter would have to raise the child and make the best of the situation.
I would be angry that it happened, but I would offer support.

Answer 2

As long as the daughter consented to the act that created the pregnancy, you can't blame just the boy Your choice of wording creates the impression that you see this as a one-way thing in which the boy's participation victimized your daughter. Unless she was attacked she's not a helpless little victim who didn't kick in her 50% of responsibility.

If it were my daughter (I don't have a daughter younger than 18 just for the record) I'd probably be just as glad the boy took off. Two immature and/or irresponsible parents are not better than one. One young mother who has the support of her family and who isn't "all embroiled" in the usual tumultuous relationship between unwed parents is probably best for the baby.

If the boy showed no interest in thefuture baby I'd probably see what could be done to make sure he had no parental rights and would be not around visiting whenever he felt like later on.

I'd talk to my daughter, ask if she wanted to go through with the pregnancy. If she didn't I'd help her get what she needed done. If she did I'd talk to her about how I would help and be supportive, but how now that she'd be a mother she would have to forget about doing much socializing for a few years. I'm not saying I don't think she should go out and have a break once in a while or go to the occasional, say, Christmas party; but I would make it clear that I'd watch the baby while she was in school or working; and otherwise she'd have to care for her own baby. Mothers need to bond with their babies. The girl who would be in school or work would need all the time she had not doing those things to bond with her child so the child won't start to see a caretaker as his/her "person".

I'd talk to my daughter about whether she should sign up for welfare or other programs if I weren't able to offer enough support. Nobody wants their child on welfare, but if that was her only option the unpleasant reality is that she created her own need to do this type of thing and short -change herself when it comes to some things about her future.

I would hope my daughter would make some effort to get some kind of education or training that would offer her some decent prospects for the future.

I would enjoy my precious grandchild once it was born. So often once the baby arrives it bring so much joy to whatever combination of people makes up its family that the child often brings parents and daughter closer together than they've been in a long time.

I would not be the least bit happy about a teenager daughter bringing a baby into the world and complicating her own life, and I'd worry that her teenage thinking may create problems for the baby - but I'd be happy to meet the baby once it arrived and decide there is no point in resenting my daughter or reminding her of my disappointment for the rest of time.

Again, though: I'd be most delighted if the boy took off, showed my daughter what happens when you get pregnant and aren't married, and left my daughter and her baby alone.

I think this problem isn't one you can "solve". Its one you have to deal with, and there's a difference.

Answer 3

Impregnated? What is this girl? A science experiment?

She IS pregnant.

The boy got her pregnant.

Deal with the personalities as PEOPLE.

And, you only offer two choices: blame and punish the boy or be happy about the situation.

How about the natual reaction of not being happy, and then learning to cope with the situation? How about remembering that it usually takes the participation of two people to "impregnate" one of them. If recrimation is in order, why limit it to the boy.

How about speaking to the daughter about the seriousness of the situation, then helping her decide what to do? How about giving her support on her decision? (or guidance, if necessary)

Lots of options besides the two you offer. This question makes it clear that you are NOT a parent. (at least not one I'd trust to make these kinds of choices)

But then, you were not playing fairly. You didn't REALLY want to begin a discussion of how to deal with this kind of situation. You just wanted to pick a virtual fight. Didn't you?

Answer 4

First of all I would suport my daughter in this time of crisses. As far as the boy if he is under 18 also his parents should recieve a phone call or better yet a visit from you and your daughter to disscuss the issues. If over 18 talk to law enforcment and a lawyer (talk to one anyway to protect your daughter's leagal rights) Make sure all steps are taken for her to finish school and no option to drop out. The boy better be prepared for child suport and take care of his actions.

Answer 5

To add to Chris C's answer, I would discuss the option of placing the baby up for adoption.

However, I would also discuss with the boy & his parents what his plans are. (You may have to establish paternity with a blood test.) He may feel responsible and choose to marry your daughter - is that the best for everyone involved? If not, then you should engage a lawyer to file for child support payments for next 18 years.

In any case, the child will be your daughter's, and you should do everything you can to support her - as strongly as you can.

Answer 6

I had my first child when I was 16, yes it was hard and it was alot of work, but the one thing that kept me going was that my mom was there for me whenever I needed her. I think if my daughter would come to me when she is 16 and says that she is pregnant I would be happy about it, and treat her the same way my mom did to me. I am so thankful for my kids each day and would never change anything about it.

Answer 7

You be happy about it because there is the possibility that she wanted a baby and he didnt do it by himself they will have to work together and your daughter will need you support to make it through beause there is nothing like a mothers love and help during pregnancy.

Answer 8

I got pregnant when I was 17, the best support I received was from my parents. They were cool and helpful and great, I could have never had my daughter without them. Being pregnant is not a 'problem' anyways!

Answer 9

It really depends on the girl, if she and the boy are not mature and they haven't been going out for a long time I would highly suggest to my daughter to get a termination. If her and the boy are responsible and are planning on getting married/staying together I wouldn't mind if she kept the baby but it would be a big family scandal

Answer 10

start shopping for unisex items now, and maybe start a savings account. start preparing for the baby shower, get medicaid if necessary. Most importantly talk with your daughter to see if she wants to have the child DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT PRESSURE HER IN ANY WAY she will most likely rebel, just inform her of her options, she made the grown up decision to have sex now she must lay in the same bed she made a baby in.