where he is, they will put it like "where is my brother!?" yes i know he is their brother but what if they say "where is John?!, coz im his wife and i know he is their brother. what do you think of this.?
2006-10-26 10:42:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
when my family is around and i happen to be somewhere they ask my hubby or his family "where is Ann?" im not sure if u r getting my point its kind of rude.
2006-10-26 10:52:12 · update #1
thry probably are not happy with you and john's marriage and won't say anything directly but say things like that. they are probably trying to let you know that even though you and he are married that he is still their family.
2006-10-26 10:47:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If this small difference has your hackles up, you are in for a rude awakening. I take it you have not been married for very long. I know this is stereotyping but as a culture, they discourage women, or men for that matter from college, or higher education, they expect you to reproduce early and often. They will sometimes favor one child over another, and that is just how it is in their families. There is nothing wrong with their culture, it has worked for hundreds of years, you now must find a way to integrate your culture and customs into theirs.
Have you been through a holiday season with them, if not, buckle up!
2006-10-26 10:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by finaldx 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A thought: do they have more than one male sibling? If so, 'where's my brother' could be answered by, 'which brother did you want? "John" is in the back yard' same w/son, if there's more than one. Or you might try, 'you mean "John" every time they do it, even if he is an only boy. If you do it often enough, they may get the hint, but don't count on it. Some people don't want to know your feelings, it'd make you too human, too like them.
2006-10-26 11:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, let's put it this way. He's been their brother for perhaps thirty years, and your husband for maybe two? So they've sort of gotten into the habit of calling him 'my brother' or 'my son' and that isn't going to change.
You're getting your hackles up over nothing.
When your family calls, do they ask for their daughter, or their sister, or do they ask for his wife? Same difference.
2006-10-26 10:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with him being Spanish or anything else. When I call my mother's house and get her husband I ask, "Where is my mom?" Same goes with my brother or father. Some people are possessive over people. If it bugs you that much, ask them why they phrase things the way they do.
2006-10-26 10:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by Steph 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your in-laws are translating their culture into English which, of course, does not work.
It's perfectly acceptable in Spanish (as in several other languages), but rude in English.
They clearly don't know this, but, because you're related to them, there's no way you can point this out to them without being rude, yourself.
My advice: think something unspeakably rude each time they do it. It will put a sparkle in your eyes and a laugh in your voice.
2006-10-26 11:38:31 · answer #6 · answered by silvercomet 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok, so all jokes aside, all the crap and raping aside, how lots do you experience for him ? If a majority of those rumours wern't going approximately, how lots might it replace ? be careful which you're emotions for him arn't turning out to be out of pitty for him. via fact may be a great mistake. yet, with all of the difficulty it has all brought about, how do you already know that in case you establish to flow with him it may be properly worth it ? It shall obviousley take you're relatives an extremly long term to return around, yet while he makes you chuffed, then they could desire to get used to it. i will understand how at a loss for words you're, and alot of you nevertheless desires to be seeing him and marry him, yet you already know you mustn't ? i think of you need to flow away it for a on a similar time as, shop his touch numbers and issues yet take a ruin. For actual nonetheless, no calling up asserting you omit one yet another of in spite of. After this see the type you experience, and picture in you're head no count if going back to him is what you quite decide for and in case you quite can see somewhat a destiny with him. it easily relies upon on how careful you're, and how lots you're prepared to threat. looking on how strongley you experience in direction of him i might probally do exactly what i reported above, take a ruin. Or of path you are able to in basic terms ruin up all jointly. I won't inform you what to do, yet as a man or woman in case you place each thing aside and picture you shall understand what's nice for you, and you're relatives. remember they're probally hurting, and the only reason they have kicked up lots fuss is via fact they're apprehensive approximately you.
2016-10-03 00:06:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a cultural thing. Get used to it or set each one of them down for a short chit-chat that it is annoying you that they do not inquire about him by his name.
If this is not working, talk to your husband about it, if that does not work , let everyone know that you will no longer ANSWER requests for brother, son, friend, cousin, and hang up, you will however ANSWER those proper requests for "John".
Don't do it in a mean way, do it simple, polite, and cheery.
2006-10-26 10:48:00 · answer #8 · answered by schnikey 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because they know you are his wife?? So what does the Spanish part have to do with all of this? It doesn't seem like a big idea, really...
2006-10-26 10:47:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Each culture has their own way of asking the same question in a different way then we do here in the USA.
Id say just smile and tell them where they can find him. You will grow accustomed to their ways.
2006-10-26 10:44:45 · answer #10 · answered by minx_heart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is just their speech pattern. I wouldn't think a thing of it - actually if I were around them a while I would begin talking the same way.
2006-10-26 10:49:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋