we've been dating 7 months this saturday. i love him with all my heart. but he keeps doing things that are kind of sketch. like he almost left me a couple months ago for his ex. and then they stopped talking, but last weekend they talked, and i found out he is going to see her this weekend becuase her sister is in the hospital and i came home today and found him on the phone with her. he said they only started talking again because her sister is in the hospital. do i trust him? or did i leave him? i also worry part of the reason he is here is because he wouldnt have anywhere eles to live. we live together, and we're in college, no apartments are open right now. i did call today and found out that upperclassmen dorms are open. please help me, i hate all this heart break...
2006-10-26 10:27:35 · 13 answers · asked by remembermealways23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we did talk about him talking to the ex this morning, and i told him it all stops or i'm done. and he said he would stop. but i dont know that i can believe that..
2006-10-26 10:36:58 · update #1
Yes! I was kinda in the same situation about 5 months ago.
Here's a long story turned short(Well, I'll try):
I started dating a guy a little over a year ago. He actaully lived about 2 hours away, so we had a long distance relationship. We saw eachother every weekend, and talked on the phone at least twice every weekday. I fell in love with him and I thought he did also. After dating for about 6 months, he asked me to move in with him, so I did. I left behind my job, family, friends, etc. for his sorry @$$. Well, the first month was great. Then in the middle of the second month I noticed some distance. I began feeling depressed, as if I was doing something to cause this. What was I doing wrong? Or is he?! So much heartbreak!
Well, one day I noticed, on his myspace, that his ex-girlf had left him a comment. She said something about "we need to keep in touch; good talking to you again...blah, blah, blah." I was so mad! He was obviously talking to her behind my back. So I asked him about it and asked why are you even talking to her? He said it was nothing.
A couple weeks later, he still remained distant. He even said "his guy friend" has some Pro-basketball tickets and he may go see one of the games one of these weekends. Well, he did go to a game about a week later. He even spent the night over there with "his guy friend." What a LOSER! I am getting so mad just writing this...but you need to know!!
What broke the ice was me seeing all of the exchanged text-messages on his cell phone. When I confronted him about that he said it was nothing, they're just friends, I am just being ridiculous, I am too jealous, blah, blah, blah.
Well, finally I moved back home. I couldn't take his distance and bull anymore. On the way home I decided to call his ex to the number I saw from the text messages. She said that it was HER that he went to the basketball game with, that they have been talking every day since she left him that comment on myspace. She also said that she knew I was with him the whole time! What's wrong here?! WIERDOS!
Well, he ended up blaming ME for him talking to her again. Well, he ended up getting back with her right away. He was just waiting for me to move out.
Sickening, isn't it? Well, I know it sux and hurts really bad. I am so over him now and so glad it's finally over. I think back now and think, "What was I thinking!??!"
Well, for your case, his excuse that the only reason they started talking again is because her sis is in the hospital?! Would you do the same thing if the tables were turned? What is there so much to talk about? He already almost left you once, he's only going to keep doing it!
You need to end it now! Do it for yourself! You are going to hurt for a while, but you'll be happy you did in the near future! Promise.
2006-10-26 10:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Cassy wassy mo massy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too bad his ex's sister in the hospital, but they are not together anymore. It's not like they were married & she used to be his sister-in-law. She is not family & never was. If he is so concerned about her he should just send a card to the hospital signed by BOTH of you. He does not need to be talking to his ex. I hope you can get away from him. College campuses have too many guys for you to be going out with & you'll probably find someone who respects you more than he does. You need to find another dorm to live in.
2006-10-26 10:33:25 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never have the guarantee that the one you love will love you back.....and the decision on weather or not to date the ex is out of your hands, because he is the one who decides that. If you love him you will be able to let him make his decisions and not to follow up on him. Men do get upset when they find out that women check on them. There is really only one thing you can do: stay calm, let him go see his ex and her sister and then wait and see what he does. You will see in his behavior if he is starting to see her again, and then you can make your decision based on facts, whereas now it would be a decision based on suspicion. The one thing I do believe in is to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Good luck
2006-10-26 10:36:37 · answer #3 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your instincts are telling you that something is wrong, then it probably is. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering if he is cheating on you? Or that he's using you to help pay the rent? It's not worth losing your sanity or your dignity. Get out now. Living in upperclass dorms isn't nearly as bad as living with someone that doesn't respect you.
2006-10-26 10:33:53 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK . . . . so you WANT him to run your life? Who's in charge here? Certainly not you! He's in charge!
Now take a look at him . Is this someone you WANT running your life? You are perfectly capable of making your own decisions and handling your life, but you are so afraid of being "without someone" that you're letting this bozo sponge off you. Stand up on your hind legs and BE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE . . . not who he wants you to be.
Life is very short (as you'll find out later on) and it's too precious to waste on this idiot! Somebody better is waiting in the wings, but you won't attract anybody who will respect you until you start to respect yourself. Start doing that today. . . . First step? Give him the heave-ho and stand up for yourself!
God bless!
2006-10-26 10:37:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up at once is the right answer but from your question you are too stressed out to really take any advice from here so I'm not going to outline all the signs and reasons. Trust me. Tonight is not soon enough.
2006-10-26 10:32:01 · answer #6 · answered by RangerEsq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave, get out before there is anymore heartache. He shouldn't be talking to her and she should have respect for you. The longer you stay, the longer it will take you to get over him. If you want to be with him, tell him how you feel, and be really straight forward. Don't let him walk all over you.
2006-10-26 10:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by sea shell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first thing you can do is this. find out for sure if is true that her sister realy is in hospital.to me, his just bullshiting you because after I broke with my ex, I never talk to her I only care about my new girlfreind.
2006-10-26 10:36:16 · answer #8 · answered by Lil;Quest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him right now. He almost left you for his ex!
2006-10-26 10:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his back-up plan in case it doesn't all work out again with the ex.
Dump him.
2006-10-26 10:32:09 · answer #10 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋