how do i get rid of bein insecure?

Question

ive been with my fiance for 9 months .in those 9 months hes never given any reason for me to doubt him. im not exactly to nice about how i feel about myself. i love him and would give anything to him...but yet i question him on almost everything...whats an easy way to get rid of my insecurity.. :(

PS... i believe i come from a dysfuntional family...typical old fashiond italian ...grew up too fast.... i learned to cook by the age of 10... i just used to crawl inside my head alot growing up...stood away from crowds and the center of attention...i dunno what to do im 24 and im my own worst enemy..

Answer 1

The best way is to REALISE that everyone who is walking the surface of this earth right now is IMPERFECT...

Yes, everyone has their flaws and shortcoming...and many people feel the same way as you do

But ask yourself...what are you so worried about? Your looks? Your personality? Why worry about them, when you have a person who is willing to spend the rest of his life with you - surely, he must have seen something spectacular in you....after all, mariage is a big deal

To him, you are the 'one'....and all you should give to him is your full love, trust and care....doubts and insecurities ruin relationships...

Start with a clean slate...and just change your state of mind...be confident and happy...and you'll always have a great relationship with him

You say youre your own worst enemy: well change that, because if you dont love yourself, life can get a bit dull...so look in the mirror and REALISE, that you are a beautiful, loving and caring girl and the man you will marry loves you

Answer 2

Try going to a Barnes and Nobles or a Borders bookstore, or whatever is available in your area, and take a look in the self-help or recovery section. In fact, if you like Dr. Phil, I think he's recently authored a book called, "Self Matters." Anyway, there are a lot of books in plain English that I think will do the trick for you. If not, you might want to try seeing a profesional or clergyman in regards to your insecurity problem. If it's not dealt with, you could end up unwittingly sabotaging your relationship with your current partner.

Answer 3

let it be it will all come out in the wash. Look at life through rose colored shades and realize that everything hapens for a reason- good or bad. Its a big world. Be secure in your self and your mate and let it be. If something is going on chances are you will find out with having to play detective. Karma will let ya know. Be proud of you self and think like a secure person.

Answer 4

Try to write down as many things as you can think of that you like about yourself. Say them outloud to yourself whenever you are feeling down (when you're alone of course). It will feel silly at first but it really helps. If you realize you're beating yourself up, make a serious effort to quit. Don't allow yourself to entertain negative thoughts. When you start to get worried about him, instead of questioning him, first try to look at everything as rationally and calmly as possible. If the doubt still lingers, make sure you don't question him in an accusing way. These things will take time but they will pay off. I still struggle myself from time to time but things have improved and I'm not giving up yet. Talk to your fiance about this and I'm sure he'll support you through it.

Answer 5

Trust is the most important part of a relationship. If he has not given you any reason to doubt him, trust him and love him for that. I have been married going on 24 years. Trust is still there. We have had our problems, but trust is there.