HALLOWEEN
A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache. She told her husband to go anyway. After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed.
Later she awoke and felt great, so she decided to go to the party and see what her hubby did when she wasn't around. As soon as she arrived, she noticed him on the dance floor getting very friendly with every hottie in the place, and groping them when he could. She then cut in and rubbed close to him. When the song ended, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Let's go outside." So the two costumed characters snuck off and occupied themselves in one of the parked cars.
Midnight was to be the unveiling of the party-goers, so she slipped out and went home before the clock struck twelve.
When he got home she asked, "How was the party? Did you meet any interesting people?"
He replied, ''You know me, dear. I don't have a good time when you're not with me. I ran into a few friends and we ended up in the basement playing poker. It wasn't very fun at all. But the guy I loaned my costume to had the time of his life!"
2006-10-26 10:10:31 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he
was keying in
P...
E...
N...
I...
S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***
2006-10-26 10:10:54 · update #1
AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER'S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR,
SHE HEARD A STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN. OPENING THE DOOR,
SHE OBSERVED HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR.
SHOCKED, SHE ASKED: "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?"
THE DAUGHTER REPLIED: "MOM, I'M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND THIS
THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND
LEAVE ME ALONE."
THE NEXT DAY, THE GIRL'S FATHER HEARD THE SAME BUZZ
COMING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR. UPON ENTERING THE
ROOM, HE OBSERVED HIS DAUGHTER MAKING PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER VIBRATOR.
TO HIS QUERY AS TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING, THE DAUGHTER SAID:
"DAD I'M THIRTY-FIVE, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS
CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME
ALONE."
continued below
2006-10-26 10:11:39 · update #2
A COUPLE DAYS LATER, THE WIFE CAME HOME FROM A SHOPPING TRIP, PLACED THE
GROCERIES ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER, AND HEARD THAT BUZZING NOISE COMING
FROM, OF ALL PLACES, THE LIVING ROOM.
SHE ENTERED THAT AREA AND OBSERVED HER HUSBAND SITTING ON THE COUCH,
DOWNING A COLD BEER, AND STARING AT THE TV. THE VIBRATOR WAS NEXT TO HIM
ON THE COUCH, BUZZING LIKE CRAZY.
THE WIFE ASKED: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
THE HUSBAND REPLIED: "I'M WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH MY
SON-IN-LAW."
2006-10-26 10:11:59 · update #3
for my fave ever joke see link below
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al4B9LEFmS7vWt9MFg7osvwgBgx.?qid=20061017105430AAcQInq
2006-10-26 10:18:47 · update #4
i thought i was having a bad and depressed day, that was just what i needed to have a great laugh! all were really funny!i loved the last one about the son-in-law!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!that was great. thanks for the great laugh i hope i remember it to tell someone.
2006-10-26 10:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by wisdom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hillarious!
2006-10-26 10:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st Got me mad
2nd Hahaha hehehehe hohoho haheho
3rd Hahahe ho
2006-10-26 10:23:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg those r sooo funny that totally picked me up i needed the laghs cuz i had a bad day
2006-10-26 10:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by blank 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the penis one best but the last one was pretty funny.
2006-10-26 10:17:38 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately my password is not long enough to answer q
2006-10-26 10:16:26 · answer #6 · answered by yellowpalma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they could all get married on the comparable time yet while the minister ask do you leroy take this lady to your spouse between the leroy could say nope.[then people will continually ask which between the leroy pronounced nope.
2016-10-16 10:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by hultman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!
Very good, but did she have the time of her life!
2006-10-26 10:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by Welshchick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they were reaaly funny
the best i've eva heard on yahoo answers
i password one was really good
2006-10-26 11:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
very funny jokes i had to recite them over the phone to my friend we both nearly peed our panties
2006-10-26 11:16:43 · answer #10 · answered by molly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋