At my 3 year old's preschool, I have noticed that my child seems to be a loner.?

Question

He never seems excited about the group activities they are doing. He is an only child, so I don't know if he doesn't feel comfortable around other children. At home, he won't sing with me or be silly like that. Its like he's an old man. Also, he doesn't like to play with his toys really. He would rather unplug things or play in the sink. Could something be wrong with him?

Answer 1

to me that sounds like the warning signs of autism...
you should talk to his pediatrition
some common symptoms are:

* Insistence on sameness; resistance to change
* Difficulty in expressing needs; uses gestures or pointing instead of words
* Repeating words or phrases in place of normal, responsive language
* Laughing, crying, showing distress for reasons not apparent to others
* Prefers to be alone; aloof manner
* Tantrums
* Difficulty in mixing with others
* May not want to cuddle or be cuddled
* Little or no eye contact
* Unresponsive to normal teaching methods
* Sustained odd play
* Spins objects
* Inappropriate attachments to objects
* Apparent over-sensitivity or under-sensitivity to pain
* No real fears of danger
* Noticeable physical over-activity or extreme under-activity
* Uneven gross/fine motor skills
* Not responsive to verbal cues; acts as if deaf although hearing tests in normal range.

Answer 2

People say you need it, but you don't. Keep in mind, most kids weren't in daycare for the last 40,000 years of human existence. Hell, most kids didn't even have neighbors (in the familiar sense) until about 80 or 100 years ago. Compare the achievements of the greats (Henry Ford, Einstein, Socrates) who didn't have daycare... to the greats of today. Oh wait, there aren't any. That being said, when my first day of school and seeing peers was at age 5, i had no problem making friends and quickly learning how to properly interact with others. Some say all daycare really does is test how well your kid's booster shots work. I won't go that far, although that's definitely part of it (hygiene is never good enough in these places). They do teach a lot of stuff, especially if your kid is able to learn it. My daughter is 3 and they are already teaching her how to write. She knows all the letters and can kind of write her name. Will it make her a better kindergartener? Doubt it. It will probably make her bored in kindergarten. I can't recommend anything to you , because I don't know where you live. It is best to check the places out, and talk to patrons. Sometimes it is worth the extra money for a better place. Sometimes the cheaper ones are like bio-hazard zones. You make up the cost in doctor's visits. The biggest thing about being an only child is learning how to share with others. This includes not just your child sharing his own toys, but also your child realizing that not all the toys i, everywhere, belong to him. Being around other kids helps that.

Answer 3

He sounds like an introvert to me, however introverts usually use their imagination at home while playing with their toys. I would ask his pedi about it. In the meantime I would try to spend quality time with him figuring out what he likes to do, and ask him many questions. Start off a game, with say, puppets or trucks, and increase the amount of creativity over time. For example, push the cars around silently first, then say vroom vroom the next time you roll them, then start having them talk to each other.. See if he will join in at each level that way. You might then try it with other children, instead of you. I don't know how long he's been going to the preschool, but if it has been less than a few months, he may just not be warmed up yet. I have an only child, and she took a little bit to get used to the fact that she could talk and play with other children.

Answer 4

I've agonized over this very same thing with my child. At pre-school she played by herself, in Kindergarten she wouldn't sing or dance when the class did and also preferred to play by herself. Now she's in 1st grade and often spends recess by herself, and it's not because kids don't like her or anything, it's her choice. But other days she will go play with the other kids, that's just come about over the last few weeks. I was talking to one of the school's counselor's and she said that some kids are naturally loners, and especially if they are older children, they have a certain maturity level and seriousness that their peers might not have and therefore their peers don't seem like someone that they would like to play with. That said, my daughter is really coming out of her shell lately and sometimes is even clowning around in front of other children, something that a few months ago she would not do, in fact she wouldn't even let other kids hear her laugh. I am surprised that your son doesn't cut loose more at home and be silly with just you, but it might just be his nature to be serious. However it would never hurt to get him evaluated. Here the services that evaluate them up to the age of 3 is called EDIS, for Early Development Intervention Services. After they turn three our school system takes over. Ask your pediatrician what kind of service like this are in your area, it is the law that all 50 states have to provide this kind of service, and it's usually free or low cost. But really, I think your child is fine and with time will seem more like his peers, although he may always be more serious.
P.S.- Consider enrolling him in a dance or gymnastics class, yes even though he's a boy, or even a martial arts class or sport. My daughter loves her activities, even though when she first started at the age of 3 she would just stand off to the side and watch the other kids dance and tumble, then one day something just seemed to click and she joined the rest of the kids. Find a patient teacher or coach that will encourage him to join in, but not force him or seem angry if he doesn't.

Answer 5

If you're really worried, discuss these concerns with your pediatrician...more than likely though, that's just his personality. I have a 6 month old who is silly as can be at home, but when he's out in public...he does the grumpy little old man thing. He'll never smile and acts WAY too serious for his age. Talk to your doctor and then relax -- you've just got a serious little guy on your hands -- but hey, he'll probably be the next Bill Gates. :)

Answer 6

If your concern continues, go to www.zerotothree.org, track his development and such. Sounds just like he's an introvert; see if he wants to have a play date with one of his friends from school, introduce him to the interactive LeapFrog videos where the alphabet is sung and numbers are fun, see if that stimulates his sense of humor. Also, have you thought about having another child? If so talk to him about having a brother or sister, get him excited. If not, how about a dog or cat to grab his attention? Good luck.

Answer 7

i was like that ( now im almost 12) and guess what. I am an inventer. I have made so many little inventions and i make amazing ( or so my friends and teachers say) pictures, hes creative ... i just moved so im an outcast well even in my old school i was. But what we lack in friends we make up in smart cause then we dont have people bothering us all the time and we can THINK

Answer 8

If he also has language delays then it could be autism. You might want to have him evaluated by the local school district. They will do a developmental assessment free, and if they see signs of something else, such as autism, they will tell you where to go for an evaluation.

Answer 9

Every child has their pecularities. Som e children like to observre others doing things rather than do it themselves. As for his plug and sinks interests, maybe putting things into other things, and stacking and building intrigues him. does he like water? some children have an affinity for it. if you are concerned you could talk to a child pschologist.

Answer 10

This may be hard for you, but you need to have your child checked out for autism. He might have a mild version of autism called Esbergers. Autism is a mental discorder in many children who have problems with social interactions with others. They have a hard time communicating with not just other children, but their teachers, parents and friends. A lot of parents wait until its too late to have their child examined because of shame or they will say "he'll grown out of it", but don't let this stop you. In today's society the number of children with autism has sky rocketed. There are many reasons for it, but a child can be helped, but he must be helped in the earlier stages of when he or she gets older, he will have a hard time with communicating with others. Also, it is very difficult to get help in todays society for a child with a learning disorder, so you have to get on this right away, so you can start doing your research. Please have a talk with your child's pre-school teacher or your child's pediatrican or family doctor and tell them you want your child examined for Autism of Esberger's Discorder. May I also suggest that you get on the internet and read up on Autism, and specially Esberger's. (I might be spelling it wrong, but I know you can find it.