We've been together for almost 2 years, he's gotten lazy. He says he still loves me but he doesn't really do anything for me at all. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me still. I'm so annoyed I can't even get turned on by him anymore, but I do love him. I'm a sophomore in College and I want to get on with my life. I want to be with him, but I know he will never change and I want the boy to think of me once in awhile. I want him to SHOW his love other than stating it a thousand times a day. He is my first LTR so I'm not quite sure what to do...
2006-10-26 09:49:56 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also, I really enjoy him. He is my main support and fully understands me and what I have been through...I can talk with him like I talk to noone else. This makes it even more difficult to decide...
2006-10-26 09:52:35 · update #1
Your 2 notes sound like you're talking about 2 different guys! Maybe he does show you he loves you, but in ways that you don't consider? If you can talk to him like no one else, that sounds like someone you need to keep around! I think you need to do some soul searching to try and get to the root of your anger towards him. The anger is poisoning your life together. It takes 2 to make a relationship - he might be shocked to hear why you are so angry much of the time. A friend recommended a book to me "The Five Languages of Love" - bottom line, we all have a way that WE show love, and something that WE are looking for from our partner that means (to YOU) that he loves you. Sometimes, for example, he might not say the words, but he does little acts of service (makes your coffee in the morning). But, if you really need to hear the words, and he doesn't/can't say the words, does that mean he doesn't love you? No! Maybe you really need to get gifts to believe he loves you, but it's just not something that comes naturally to him. Anyway, search your heart - if he really 'gets' you, really listens to you, and you can tell him anything.....that's rare. All of us need someone who will love and cherish us in good times and bad - could he be that person for you? Are you that person for him?
Best of luck to you. It's a tough world out there!
2006-10-26 10:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by maxamillion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send him this letter:
We've been together for almost 2 years, but I feel you've gotten lazy. You say that you still love me but you don't really do anything for me at all. You say that you want to spend the rest of your life with me but I'm a sophomore in College and sometimes I feel like I just want to get on with my life. I want to be with you, but I don't feel like you will never change and I want the you to think of me once in awhile. I want you to SHOW your love other than stating it a thousand times a day. You're my first LTR so I'm not quite sure what to do...
2006-10-26 09:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by frisbinator 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think that you still love this person? If you no longer have any feelings for him why not let him go . Just because you have been in this relationship for 2 years does not mean that you can not find someone else to love. The only way to find out your true feelings is to distance yourself from him and see what happens.Maby you both will realize that you need to move on.
2006-10-26 10:04:46 · answer #3 · answered by zzum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got out of a 6year relationship and its hard but im happy. He started to get lazy too. I mean we werent even engaged! We lived together i always saW myself with him he said he wanted to marry me..but actions speak louder than words. His actions werent showing any appreciation for me anymore. His actions were that of an old married man and we're in college too. Now im trying the dating thing (its been 4 months since the breakup and the guy was actually a good friend first) and im happy. I have the butterflies again i can open up again i can live again and be happy. I love my ex i miss him so much and i wish it could have worked out but it was time for me to be happy again.
2006-10-26 10:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nesta Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have been together for 2 yrs, have you told him how he is making you feel and if so has he change or not. I say if you tried to tell him and he did not listen to you then tell him you would like to start dating other people to see if he really is the right one for you. You are still young enough to find Mister Right so don't settle for your first LTR may not be Mister Right
2006-10-26 10:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by krazy4_coke2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kind of answered this one yourself when you identified him as a "boy" instead of a man.
As a sophomore in college, you should be focusing on school, enjoying the collegiate experience, and thinking of your future....in that order. The person you spend the rest of your life with should be an adult, not someone YOU even call a boy.
2006-10-26 09:53:33 · answer #6 · answered by tazmo1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can talk to him about anything easily I think its a good time to start being honest with him and tell him you think he is being lazy and not giving you anything in the relationship anymore. He cant improve behaviours if he is unaware of them, then if youa re still not turned out break up, if there's no passion theres no long term future!
2006-10-26 09:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by lazy lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to break up with someone that you have been with for that long..trust me I know. Give him a few chances to change, if he doesn't he isn't the type of guy you want or need in your life so end it with him. You should still be friends though if possible.
2006-10-26 09:57:47 · answer #8 · answered by CrazyChic86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, break up with this loser, and go find the winner. People that are going places just stay in the same place trying to be with people that are not doing anything. for the time being just let him go on about his merry business and he can caught up with his crowd, the LAZY of the world.
2006-10-26 09:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by Ellen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up is hard to do! I understand that you love him, but I think you need to end the relationship! He's not doing anything for you, and the only thing he can offer you is his penis! You need to move on with your life and you deserve better than that! Don't settle for anything less-especially men!
2006-10-26 09:52:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋