i have decided that when it comes to dating, i am raising my standards as far as certain qualities...not just for me, but for my children. an example is...needs to have steady job for at least a year, and have a car AND LICENSE to get to that job. the thing is that i am a single mother of 2, and have moved back in with my parents. am i being hypocritical for setting my standards high when i'm not in the best shape financially myself? serious answers, please.
2006-10-26 09:21:06 · 19 answers · asked by trisha_r_c 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just to clarify, this is not just a "financial" thing, i'm just looking for someone with some stability (when i finally do start dating again). example is that my babies' loser of a father has had 4 jobs in the last 2 months!!
2006-10-26 09:29:02 · update #1
It just sounds like you are fed up with the losers you may have had in your life. It is a very maturing thing to see the light of substance rather than cuteness.
2006-10-26 09:26:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your looking for some one to support you when you should be able to support your self unless you like depending on other people and in that case you're gonna have a hard time. The only person you should depend on for those things is your self so what you should do is worry about your self and those children and when you can support your self without any-ones help then I would go out and look for a guy to share your life with and don't be so picky you may miss out on something special. Believe me I know I am 27 and a single mother of 2 and i 've had to live with my parents, I've been through a lot I've had to be on Medicaid, food stamps, my car in the shop for 2 months and I've been fired from a job. I got through all of it on my own. I have my own place, a new car, and a great job. I don't need anyone to take care of me i can do it my self and i have a boyfriend I've been with for 3 years who moved in with me not to long ago and the best part is yeah he's helping with the bills cause he stays there but if something happens and he leaves I know I can do it my self with no help from anyone else. Trust me that's a good feeling. Just because they may meet your standereds doesn't mean you'll be happy or make them any better than anyone else out there they can still be assholes....
2006-10-26 09:44:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are not high standards at all that you are asking for. If he can't hold a job, maintain a car, then how is he going to maintain you and your children. Do not settle for less than that, because you'll wind up with someone else to care for, when you have two children already. The last thing you want is a moocher, you need someone who is reliable and caring and most of all self-sufficient. Good Luck.
2006-10-26 09:27:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jolene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think it is a great choice, and it should have been your first choice lol, but we all take unexpected turns in our lives. You have every right to set these standards because the type of man you date is going to have an impact on your relationship with your children financially, mentally and emotionally. The fact that you want to set your standards higher for a man should encourage you to set your standards for yourself higher, and if you are working towards that goal of bettering yourself and your family situation as well, then there is nothing wrong with you setting your standards higher for any man you choose to date.
2006-10-26 09:29:49 · answer #4 · answered by Curiosity killed the cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow there is someone out there like me lol NO NO you are not wrong at all i am single mom of 2 lesbian and i expect that and more i thought i would be screwed , but the funny thing is the higher you set your standards the better the mate you will get everyone male and female want a chalenge, and we give them one ,make them know we are worth working hard for, i will not accept any less hang in there say it loud and proud and they will come running lol
2006-10-26 09:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by davbar4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a matter of fact I applaud you. You and your children deserve the best. Though you may not be in the best financial shape now it doesn't mean you have to lower your standards. You recognize this now work to make yourself and the situation better. Great guys go after confident women.
2006-10-26 09:29:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your standards sound reasonable. You might want to give an out to someone who has been at their job for less than a year, if their overall employment history is stable.
2006-10-26 09:25:10 · answer #7 · answered by danl747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely should set your standards high, for him and for you. You're circumstances are understanding. Just focus on your own goals and work toward achieving them and don't settle for less in a relationship than what you think is absolutely necessary.
2006-10-26 09:26:56 · answer #8 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Higher standards just might get you a high standard kind of guy! GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-26 09:24:09 · answer #9 · answered by GRUMPY1LUVS2EAT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
High? That ain't high sweetie. High is not dating someone who isn't making at least 100,000 a year plus must pay all your bills.
2006-10-26 09:30:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋