I've had 4 children and the ages range between 19 and 9. My second son has always been a pain in the bum and never was any good at listening to reason even at playgroup when he was 3. He got himself into a bit of bother with the police and was like a whirlwind when at home. My other 3 kids are fantastic, kind, calm, a joy to be with. I often hear people say that "Its the parent's fault" and get very cross because I didn't treat my No2 any different to the rest so why should I be blamed for his actions??(I would like to add that I wasn't blamed, I had the support of everyone including the police.
2006-10-26 07:48:35 · 21 answers · asked by sue l 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ok I think I should also add that he has been to a special school after being expelled from regular school, and the teacher (trained Psycologost) told me she has never come across anyone quite like him) She said he has Naughty boy syndrome.
2006-10-26 07:56:08 · update #1
#2 is my second son, I didn't want to put his name on here ;)
2006-10-26 07:58:01 · update #2
Thanks KIT, that was nice and yes we do get on really well, I tell him I love him every day as I do with the others.
2006-10-26 08:00:36 · update #3
Wandera19.....the link you gave is very interesting. I have read the part about food intollerances, however, I shall read the whole artical as some of it I have tried before. Thanks.
2006-10-26 08:27:26 · update #4
Neither of you are to blame there is research going on at the moment in the unruly people and some suprising initial results. Its all to do with food and reactions from certain foods. Here is an example
4. Reactive Hypoglycemia
There is early evidence that hypoglycemia during glucose tolerance testing is related to hostile, aggressive behavior such as that seen in habitually violent and impulsive criminals.34 Virkkunin, for example, found that a group of habitually violent adult criminals had lower basal glucose levels during glucose tolerance testing than controls.42 Even in the normal population, there is evidence of a relationship between hypoglycemic tendencies and both frustration and hostility.
It appears that overaggressive behaviors can be provoked by a reaction to common foods. Reactions range from irritability to a psychotic aggressive reaction. Children who improved after food eliminations had previously been irritable, fretful, quarrelsome and could not get along with others. Often they had to be taken out of school as they upset the classes and were considered incorrigible. After food eliminations, however, their personalities dramatically changed, and they became happy and social.
So if you think you need to be punished or him you both may be looking at the wrong cause. And as you say you have 3 other Kids who are happy.Try keeping a record of what he eats and see if after certain food he becomes worse. Worth a try before blaming your parenting
Read link below it may bring more understanding to your predicament.
2006-10-26 08:20:39 · answer #1 · answered by wandera1970 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe I'm reading this! (Trained psychologist/Naughty Boy syndrome) but then this is yahoo so ....
Nobody should be punished -except maybe the psychologist for making such an unhelpful observation.
1. You are a good mother.
2. Number 2 kid has classical hyperactive symptoms. Not bad enough to allow the doc to dose him into zombiehood. Enough that a fish oil supplement, no chocolate, and less junk food might work wonders.
3. Number 2 kid is old enough to take this on board himself. Next time he acts out, ask him to think about how he might like to avoid doing that again, and mention that hyperactive kids do that. Then leave the book (see below) somewhere he might pick it up.
See if you can get a copy of 'The Hyperactive child' from the library, or something similar.
2006-10-26 08:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by Tertia 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you can teach your child right from wrong but they some time rebel. you isn't the blame for his action he chose to rebel. and some people that don't have kids can say you are the blame but if they were in your shoes they will see sometime the parent isn't the blame for there kids mistakes. it would be a different story if you didn't teach your child right from wrong and if you didn't care what they did. then you will be the blame. there are some parents that don't care what their kids do. they let them go any where they please and drink ,smoke and do anything else. i know a girl she has three kids and her oldest son is only three and he call her a b**** and a w**** and let him call people names and she just sit back and laugh because he say all of those thing. and when people tell her she need to put a stop to all of those thing he say she get mad at the person because they tell her that. just let your son know you love him and that you don't like what he is doing .good luck
2006-10-26 08:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As long as your are entirely sure you treated your second son the same as the rest of your children, then it isn't you. Some kids have trouble being in a large family. They need more attention. I think that's how your son is. If he got himself into trouble with the police, well then he's just looking for you to give him a little guidance. Try to talk to him and maybe his behavior will change.
2006-10-26 07:53:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ally S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There has to be a time when the kids take responsibility for their actions doesn't there? My son is 9 and is generally a wonderful kid, but just occasionally, he will say or do something which leaves me incredulous. I think we can only do so much as a parent, but our children are subjected to so many other outside influences as well. We cannot be entirely blamed for the way they turn out, we can only hope that we equip them with the common sense to deal with things appropriately.
2006-10-26 07:53:03 · answer #5 · answered by Daisy Artichoke 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel bad but at 3 it's not only the parents influence it's other children too! I don't know what happened but children act out for attention. Some boys are awnry, i spelled that wrong i think anyway they are boys are boys, my 3 year old son is my life, my baby and he does stuff that I am just like what are you doing that for????? Don't feel like it's you! You know if he is getting out of control, deal with it then and let the past go. If his bad deeds are constantly being told to him he won't change, give him more positive ones, not saying you don't just an opinion
good luck and don't stress about it
2006-10-26 07:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by momma whitley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the kid might be just a rebel. If you did a fantastic job raising your other 3 then clearly there is something wrong with your son. When I say wrong I am not saying your son is mentally ill or anything maybe he is like me. I am sporatic, and I just want excitement. That's probably what your son is after. To answer your question no one should be punished unless your "No2" does something very dangerous. But, I hope you can encourage his creative mind. =)
2006-10-26 07:52:55 · answer #7 · answered by Wiseguy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have twins and right through their lives, they have been treated in exactly the same way. Yet they have totally different characters. I haven't suffered the same embarrassment as you, but I wanted you to see that you have no need to blame yourself. Whatever has made your son decide to be a royal pain in the ****, it isn't you. It looks as though he needs your support though. Don't give up on him. If there's a chance he may go even deeper into the dark side, he doesn't know it yet, but he will need you more than he could ever have guessed.
2006-10-26 07:58:30 · answer #8 · answered by Val G 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Um, the #2 son? Go easy on the poor kid. After all, he has to live with 3 "model" siblings that are "fantastic, kind, calm, a joy to be with." That's gotta be tough.
By the way, does one still say "tickety-boo" in England? If so, I hope things will be that way for your family. Cheers.
2006-10-26 07:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why does anyone have to be blamed? Wouldn't it be a better use of your time to find out why he is the way he is? Are you so worried about what the neighbors think that you can't get your son some professional help? Seek some therapy for him and maybe for yourself since you're coming off a little self righteous.
2006-10-26 07:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by fedupwithu 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋