Fiancee surprised me and my son w/an aquarium with turtles and goldfish. I've never owned pets but I always wanted pet fish or tiny turtles. I never bought them cause I don't have time to care for them. He thought it would be sweet to get them 4 me and spent tons of money. I appreciate the sentiment and told him so. I love him a great deal and was floored by this expression of love. Well, a few days later, I found myself without the desire to care for the turtles. I was beside myself--the turtles ATE the goldfish, the tank was stinking up my apartment and I had no idea how to care for turtles, wash the tank, change the water, feed them. I got no instruction and when I asked him 4 help, he told me to call a pet store or look on the net. I really did not want them 2 die in my care and knew they would die. Smell was unbearable & I asked him nicely to come retrieve them cause I couldn't care 4 them, which pissed him off. He got them, but has not spoken 2 me since, what do i do?
2006-10-26 07:21:49 · 17 answers · asked by lawyergurrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He was trying to be nice and impress you, although buying something live for someone can be risky- so he should of asked you first. You did say that you always wanted something like that, so how was he supposed to know it was going to turn out that bad? Yet, how were you supposed to know you wouldn't be able to deal with it? What is done, is done. I would call and let him know how sweet it was, and how much it touched you and you appreciated it, and then explain why it couldn't work. Make it up to him, ask him over for an intimate dinner and cook him something nice, and make the night about him- to make up for the trouble.
2006-10-26 07:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by Fran Y 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He got you some of the most easiest pets to care for in the world, besides a snake. Fish basically entertain themselves, you don't walk them, you just drop a little food in the tank twice a day.
Since he bought the gift for the kids as well, they could have assisted in the feeding and caring for the animals. As for the tank it takes a little work but not something that will just ruin a entire day.
2006-10-26 07:37:03 · answer #2 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well he got the tank for you with the animals and he really should of asked you if you wanted them at that time. But if you really want to get rid of them, just call a pet store and ask them how you can get rid of them. Just get rid of it all and if he is still pissed off about it, he can get over it. He's not over there taking care of the turtles, so why should he care if you get rid of them? Sure he spent a lot of money, but it's not like you told him to do it.
2006-10-26 07:25:40 · answer #3 · answered by angels_killed_me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a lot of responsibility for someone, any animal is, and it should not be gotten on a whim. He should have asked first. I would call him and tell him that you understand his heart is in the right place, but with your son and everything else you do, you just don't have the time, patience, or knowledge to take care of turtles and that you would have appreciated some warning or at least help when problems surfaced.
2006-10-26 07:52:51 · answer #4 · answered by erica 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Uh no. gurl if he gonna act a fool about a pet that you didnt ask for anyway then he has a serious problem. If he knew you he wouldnt have bought a pet for you like that. He shoulda just settled for a puppy or just the fish. girl give em a few days to blow off steam.
2006-10-26 07:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by Kimi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You asked him nicely to come and retrieve them....he got MAD...and came over....but has not spoken to you since.....hummm.....i do not know, but i think the relationship is sort of over...he THOUGHT he was doing something nice for your son and you...AND HE FEELS YOU DID NOT APPRECIATE THEM...but i do understand your side of the story, you did not WANT THE TURTLES...AND SO ON...,,,.i feel he maybe should of asked you IF YOU HAD WANTED TURTLES....SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE WASTED HIS MONEY....you could write him a card and thank him for the turtles and goldfish....and so on...BUT if he doesn't respond, then it is sadly over... i am sorry..that happened to you!!!
2006-10-26 07:33:06 · answer #6 · answered by sweet 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give your fiancee some time to cool off. yes, you probably killed his ego a little bit because you told him to retrive the fish tank and little animals. give him a few days then call him calmy and try to explain to him your fustration regarding the maintaning of an animal you have no clue about.
he is a big boy, he will get over it. give it time.
you can also not mention anything until he brings it up again.
and about the calling, just call him and say like, "i have not heard from you in a while, is everything ok".
2006-10-26 07:27:39 · answer #7 · answered by lasalle_1986 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, I personally don't think you were wrong. I don't think it's cool to give anyone a live animal unless they talk to the person first and see if it's okay. Any pet requires care and money and not everyone wants that.
Give him a few days and explain to him why you gave it back and not to buy you any more things that require attention on your part.
2006-10-26 07:27:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1st.. what a crock from the previous answerer that you need to live together before you get married!
To your question, you should not keep a gift you hate. If he got you a flaming bag of poo do you have to keep that too? I can see why his feelings would be hurt but you should ask him how he would have liked you to respond in that situation. His feelings are not rational and eventually he will see that. If not, probably best to find out now.
2006-10-26 07:28:16 · answer #9 · answered by Here Today 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure if you know this, but that's actually a pretty funny story. And shouldn't be that big of a deal. It was a nice thought, but in reality, it didn't work.
Someday, when he's done feeling pity for his good efforts gone wrong, you'll both tell the story and laugh.
2006-10-26 07:25:20 · answer #10 · answered by KeM 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋