Don't get me wrong. I'm not ultra-sensitive.
But what if someone consistently refers only to him/herself as if you don't (or didn't) exist? Could it be an oversight on their part? Does such a person feel he/she is being polite by only speaking for him/herself? Or is this self-centeredness when it happens excessively?
I'm referring to instances whereupon it is very clear that the subject matter at hand definitely includes more than just this one person.
For instance, my boyfriend & I always go to church together & his brother-in-law wanted to go- he invited him & then told me, "I invited him to go to church with *me*" (why not us?).
And when recounting a story that happened to both of us, it's "When *I* went to such and such place..."
One instance alone is not much, but when this idiosyncracy happens everyday.. it still seems too petty to bring up. What does it mean and what do you do, if anything?
Wasn't sure how to categorize this.
Thanks.
2006-10-26 07:01:19 · 7 answers · asked by Realmstarr 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Great idea, cmlr.
Also, if he doesn't think of the two of us as "being a couple", perhaps I should move out of his bed and take my cats and clothing with me? LOL.
2006-10-26 07:17:17 · update #1
It may mean nothing. Try doing it back to him for a week and see if he notices.
2006-10-26 07:05:43 · answer #1 · answered by somethingelse 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people feel it is only appropriate to speak for themselves. Many people do not like it when another person arbitrarily make statements that include them as few people know anothers intent.
If, however, you are one of the few people who want someone else doing your talking, then just advise the person at a calm moment, that they may include you when making one of those references.
Of course, it might be that he does not see you as the same 'couple' that you do.
2006-10-26 14:14:53 · answer #2 · answered by kate 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean....my husband does that all the time and it drives me crazy...it's such a funny subject I never make a deal either. I too wish I knew whay someone would do that.
2006-10-26 14:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The opposite happens to me. I tend to talk about things that happened to me as "we" (as in my husband and me). If I start saying something like, "We loved the Clay Aiken concert," my hubby screams, "Don't say WE!" It's funny!
All I can say in reference to your question is that it seems to me that there are a lot of really self-centered people out there. I deal with them every day and am always amazed by how they talk on and on about themselves as if no one else were around. A little "what's new with you" goes a long way.
2006-10-26 14:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by nido_tr3s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems it's gone beyond "petty" for you. Talk to him about it; the longer you wait to discuss it, the bigger the problem is going to become for you.
2006-10-26 14:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a good idea, cmlr. My husband does this too. I'm going to do it to him for a while and see if he notices.
2006-10-26 14:10:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
some pple are just selfish.
2006-10-26 17:58:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋