Can you bribe a 14 and 26 month old with delayed rewards?

Question

Our child photographer claims you can, when she offered our kids a treat if they behaved for the session. She meant after the session. They took this to mean treat NOW and melted down when one wasnt provided. She claims this works for her all the time - which I think is a load of $@Q! Plus, our reading had said not to bribe with food, as this creates future bad eating habits associating food with rewards. So they basically hadnt been exposed to this concept.

Answer 1

Yes you can--if your children aren't demanding and spoiled.

Sorry, but your children should have known better when she said "If you can behave for the session..THEN you can have a treat." Believe it or not, even at that age they can understand the word 'after'.

Answer 2

Sounds like an inappropriate time for "bribing" your child.

When our sons were 3 and 5 we would use delayed rewards to work on behavioral issues, such as tantrums and hitting. But we also had a ticket system. They started each day with 5 tickets. The tickets were simple slips of paper that they carried around with a picture or drawing on them. If they say hit or bit, depending on the issue we were dealing with, we would take away a ticket. At the end of the day with the tickets they had left they would trade them for stickers on their chart. When they had accumulated, say 20 stickers, they would then get the prize which was something they really wanted. We would buy the prize the day we started the tickets and keep it in view on the fridge as a reminder to what they were working for. Worked great for us!!

But the food thing. I've never used food as a reward. Food should be looked at as something your body needs to sustain life. If you reward with food all that is being taught is that food makes you feel good which in turn will lead to issues with food and weight later in life.

Don't think I'd be getting my pics taken there next time!!!

Answer 3

You could try looking for that turnup truck your photographer fell off of that morning and tell the driver to take her back. At 14 months, a lot of children still think that if you leave the room, you are gone for good. Treat means treat, after means absolutely nothing! You are right about sweets for rewards. That sets a really bad precedent. No one should ever offer your children sweets without consulting you first. Pick a new photographer.

Answer 4

I think you are absolutely right. Everything I have read on the subject agrees with you. I think your photographer has just been lucky. I also agree with you on the food bribe issue. Besides, children under the age of 4 don't eat unless they're hungry. That's instinct. However, that doesn't mean that feeding them a bunch of sugar and crap won't change that. Stick to your gut and if you use the same photographer, let her know your rules up front about bribes. Your paying her to take pictures, nothing else.

Answer 5

14 and 26 month old children do not have the reasoning ability necessary for that to work. They live in the NOW. They usually do not have any concept of future. As such, promising a future reward might work on older children, but not ones this young. Most good children's photographers understand this, and do not even attempt it with small children. Doesn't sound to me like she knew what she was talking about.

Answer 6

It takes time to adjust the surroundings and the equipment... more time than a little kid usually has the patience for. Especially if you like those background prop kind of pictures with the fairy wings and the little toy houses where their are LOADS of things for a little kid to want to get into...

I always say by any means necessary to perform your job the best you can. If you can't control your kids. Someone has to do it. Im not saying that you can't... but Im certain that the photographer has seen "Bad" kids a thousand times and may just have been gun shy and expects it from all of them from the experience of a kid melting down after having to sit still for any length of time. Most people IMPOSE their kids shi*tty behavior on others with that "Oh look isin't that cute." attitude.

My kids ALWAYS behave themselves, not because I bribe them, not because I offer them promises or treats... They behave, because I taught them (By showing them what other kids look like while having public tantrums.) to have more patience and more self respect than to behave that way. Now, they are well balanced and behaved and it is funny to see them stare in horror at spoiled little bastards and desperate parents on display for the world to see..

Im sure that the photographers mistake was not so much for bribing them but more because she assumed probably from experience that ALL kids are impatient and behave badly and from the fact that despite all this... most parents still expect a great picture considering....

Answer 7

I don't think they understand it that young. I've never bribed with food either. And it was rude of the photographer to promise something without asking you first. Even my 26 month old doesn't fully understand that stuff yet. Chances are, if I tell her she can do something after she eats her dinner, she won't come back to me after she's done and ask about it. They do remember a lot at that age, but bribing for later isn't usually one of them.

Answer 8

I have a 2 year old, I am not one to bribe with food, as I believe it will cause future emotional food issues. My 25 month old would not get the candy-after-picture concept, and she is very bright- she is just too little for that- not to mention your 14 month old. They are still in the immediate gratification phase- she would have been better off to make them smile with a toy or a silly face or song and then praise them wildly for smiles.
She may know how to take pictures, but she doesn't know much about babies.

Answer 9

No, bribery with delayed gratification only works with children who are over 4, and have the ability to wait. Children younger than this do not have the cognitive functions to be able to understand time. I believe your photographer is living in a parallel dimension if she thinks that telling a toddler that they can have something later is a good idea to get them to sit still for a while. I agree, candy probably also shouldn't be used- perhaps stickers or washable tattoos or something. And, if you want to avoid a meltdown, never tell a toddler they can have something if they can't have it right now.

Answer 10

I dont' think the photographer had any right to bribe your kids at all. You were right there and if you felt it would help then you would have done it. I'm guessing there are kids that age that have been trained already to wait for a treat for 15 min. but only the parent would know that.

Answer 11

This is a very interesting area of psychology.
I don't know much but I'll tell you what I've seen;
study's done on the children in the later stages of elementary school have found that the most successfully results (!?) [bear with me I'm dark!!] are
when you get the children enthusiastic about the task in hand, the reward, (in a sense the punishment) is virtually always irrelevant.