How did Fathers become the disposable parent?

Answer 1

The courts made it this way because of history. 50 years ago women didn't care to have any job if they were married. They fit into society as the "housewife or homemaker", back then mothers were know as the nurturing parent, who would take a baby away from them. But there not that any more. They are business women and money makers. Courts need to catch up to this fact. They did with me. I got custody of my 2year old daughter from mother and it was because she didn't care about family values and hid my child from me. Hang in there guys, as women become more "Independent" fathers rights to there children increases. It did with me.
I also see allot of Dad-bashing in responses by scorned women. I wasn't one of those guys that walked out, I fought for my rights against a woman that thought she could get pregnant and rule me because the courts were on her side. There's two sides to everything.
Good question, you should GET points for asking this 1.

Answer 2

My situation is a little different then most. My mother left us with my father. He had no choice but to raise us. I don't think they are disposable at all. My husband is very involved with parenting when he can. He is only home 2 days of the week. It's unfortunate that some fathers think everything is the mother's responsibility.

Answer 3

Fathers should not be disposable nor should the mothers! Some times if the fathers get the children it is only so they won't have to pay child support! Then after wards they could care less about the child's welfare!

Answer 4

Oh, I don't think of them as "disposable" at all. While it's probably true that dads do more "leaving" in marriages, that does not diminish their ability -- or their responsibility -- to be a good parent. My husband has been a non-custodial parent for 13 years and, while his ex and he do resemble oil and water at times, he is a wonderful father to his daughter and you'd be hard pressed to find someone who disagrees.

Like others here, I'd be curious to hear how you arrived at this assessment of fathers being disposable parents. Care to elaborate?

Answer 5

There is no way that in our social group that fathers are disposable. We (the women) expect those daddies to be changing diapers, holding screaming babies and potty training right beside us.

I feel that my children (all 5) get care from their father that is equal to what I give them. Different, however equal. It would never accure to him to not care for them as he was part of the decision to bring them into this world.

I know I am not alone in having a husband that is a great father. I am sorry that so many of you have different experiences. The world is not always fair and sometimes it just downright su#%s

Answer 6

Not real sure what you mean by that! Fathers are not disposable! Unfortunetly it is more common for a father to walk out on their children than it is for a mother.

It is also more common for women to get custody during a divorce because the courts believe that the mother is the more nurturing one. Not always the case, but usually.

I would be curious as to what lead you to ask that question and why you feel that way?

Answer 7

First off the Courts make it that way.

Mothers get the children most of the time, unless they can be proven unfit, and it takes an act of Congress to do that, even if they are drug users or other objectionable characters, they "still" end up with the children!

This along with Fathers shirking thier responsibilties at not being able to be a MAN, and wanting to "go play" with other women, while thier wives are loaded down with children, because "they dont love me like they used to" garbage, is a pack of baloney!

How can you expect a wife who is holding a full time job, then come home and work too, be sexually receptive to a male, who doesnt "want" to go to work, just hang around the house playing video games and being a lazy bum. (There is no easy way to put it, they are layabouts and good for nothing, as most of them dont even want to watch the kids!).

And if the Man has the job, and comes home and sees the house dirty, (because kids will play), and the house gets messy, and the wife is frazzled with nerve damage, because the kids have been rowdy all day, and he expects her to wait hand and foot on him, and when she doesnt, he goes off looking for more attention.

When they "mature" and grow up and get thier responsibilities in order, "then" they will be able to be the husband and father that they need to be.

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 8

Many of them just dispose of themselves I'm afraid...it's a shame. So many children are just abandoned by their fathers or their fathers never own up their responsibility right out of the gate.
My son's (and only child) father (who was my husband) walked out on me and my son when my son was 3 and I was recovering from cancer. I have another friend who's husband walked out on her and their 3 children when she had cancer too. She eventually died - he did NOT come and take responsibility for his children even then. Court systems are bogged down by so many dead-beat fathers not willing to pay child support. Day cares are filled with children who's mothers have to work two jobs to support them (cause daddy ain't sending any money). Welfare system bogged down as well for many of the same reasons. Look, many are just plain irresponsible - having children out of a one-night stand where they didn't even bother to be responsible enough or have the brains enough to use protection - so bingo! A baby on the way (duh) - but - once that happens I will say the moms more than dads take that responsibility on....As far as marriages breaking up - yes women leave husbands and children too - but it's far (far) more the other way around. That happens on every economic level too.

Fathers (not all of the time but MOST of the time) simply dispose of themselves. Sad. And we wonder why our poor kids these days are so screwed up.

Answer 9

This is not only sad but true in many cases.
I just think that the "father" has it easier as far as escaping their responsibilities. What I mean by that is that there are more windows of opportunity for the "father" to disappear. I do believe that there many MEN out there fulfilling their responsibilities. Many just don't want to deal with their EX who is bitter and controlling. Now, don't freak out on me I also believe that vise versa also applies and that there are also grave circumstances that may apply like the safety and security of the child(ren)

Answer 10

Not disposable.
Just the one that tends to leave in most cases and avoid the resposibility of raising the child(ren).
I believe that both parents should be part of the child's life whether the parents are together are not.

Unfortunately it seldomely works out that way.