Can we truly forgive - is it really in our power? What's the connection BTW. forgivness and forgetfulness?

Question

Have we truly forgive only when we have also forgot?

Answer 1

Yes, we can truly forgive.

Forgeting is the completion of forgiveness.

Good question.

Answer 2

Forgiving is different than forgetting. You can (and generally should) forgive without forgetting. When you forgive somebody, it means you no longer hold the offense against them. You no longer seek to get back at them, you don't nurse angry feelings, and you try to have a normal, healthy relationship with them.
However, it some cases although you can forgive, you shouldn't forget. If, for example, you tell a friend some intimate secret and they share it to the public, then although you can forgive your friend and have a relationship with them again, it might be unwise to tell them any more intimate secrets until you are confident they won't betray you again. It's like the saying "trust, but verify."
Forgiving and not forgetting is especially true in extreme situations, such as if your partner abused you. In a case like that, you need to get out of the relationship and it might not be wise for you to ever see that person again--you can't just forget and go right back to them or they'll do it over and over again. But, you need to forgive them or the anger and the hurt feelings and the desire for revenge will stay inside you, eating you up. You need to get to a point where you no longer would take revenge if it were offered to you, and you no longer want that person to come to any harm because of their offense against you. That's forgiveness. It's also forgiveness to never use somebody's past offense that you've forgiven against them. In an argument, for instance, if you've forgiven somebody for something, you can never bring that something up and say, "Well, at least I never did X." That's not forgiveness.
Forgetfulness is something else entirely. Once you've gotten to the point where you can trust somebody completely to not do the offense again, then you can forget it. Before then, it's often not wise.
And to answer your question, yes, we can truly forgive. On occasion, even when we decide to forgive somebody hurt feelings and desires for revenge may rise up, but then we just have to beat them back down.

Answer 3

Yes, people can forgive. I can think of countless times when I have forgiven people and not all the time for small things. To forgive someone is to stop being angry about or resenting somebody or somebody's behavior. Anger can go away if you are willing to let it, even though sometime sit may take time. But I don't think you should forget it all of the way. It is possible to forgive without forgetting. I think that you should remember the cituation in its intirety so that it won't happen to you again. Otherwise the same thing could keep happening to you over and over again.

Answer 4

We can absolutely forgive! It is the greatest gift you can give to yourself, because oftentimes, someone who's hurt us is oblivious to the fact, or simply doesn't care, so forgiveness is as much a gift to YOU as it s to the perpetrator. Lack of forgiveness makes a person hateful, bitter and angry to be around. (Probably gives them LOTS of heath problems too)! It doesn't mean you won't remember, you choose not to dwell on it, though. We're human, after all.

Answer 5

Forgiveness is an act of the will. It doesn't matter what you feel or forget. Also, if someone regurgitates (excuse me) the matter to you, you should affirm your forgiveness and not speak against your act of forgiveness. Otherwise, you will have to spend more time forgiving again.

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'
The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'
In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.
Matthew 18:23-35

Answer 6

That's a tough question......

I do believe you can forgive someone for terrible deeds against you, but I don't believe you will even totally forget those deeds. So in essence is that truely total forgiveness?

I'm doubting it..........

But we are human, we do the best we can and ask God for strength AND for HIM to forgive us that we can't totally forgive.

Answer 7

I believe that we can truly forgive...because my experience is that my mom murdered my dad in front of me and my sister and we were left to stay with our aunt for nearly 9 years...i forgaved her and try to forget the event. If i can than you can too.

Answer 8

My husband is a great guy. He has always been a good forgiver, and also has a poor memory! Maybe it is a blessing...

Answer 9

If we haven;'t forgotten, we haven't forgiven (from the heart that is)