No, I'm not going to ask the same tired old question of "Is it rude to have a cash bar?" I know the answer is yes, despite what we would all like to believe. We are planning to have a hosted bar, but can likely only afford a soft bar (beer & wine, with no hard alcohol). My question is this: If we are only hosting the beer & wine, should we instruct the facility not to have hard alcohol available? I'm not trying to prevent drunkenness, but I think that if we are hosting to prevent the rudeness of expecting people to pay, then we should make it impossibe for them to pay for anything. Hopefully some professionals can answer this one for me, although the "average wedding guest attendee" perspective would be welcomed too. Thanks.
2006-10-26 06:21:23 · 14 answers · asked by Kevin P 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I wouldn't withhold the hard alcohol entirely as that act will likely come as an unwelcome surprise to your guests. While most people are familiar with the cash bar policy and have no problem either paying for their desired drink or drinking what's available, few people will understand the point of being "unable" to buy something simply because you're worried they'll be offended.
Have the drinks available for purchase, but make it clear to your guests what's provided and what's for sale. I'd include a note in the invitation and add a note at the bar that reads, "Pop, wine, and beer will be provided by Mr. & Mrs. YOURNAME. Other drinks available for purchase."
2006-10-26 06:26:37 · answer #1 · answered by Mag999nus 3 · 3⤊ 4⤋
I'm certainly not a professional in this area so my response would be that of the "average wedding guest attendee". I've been only to two types of weddings....one being a full, open bar and the other being a cash bar. Of course a full, open bar is certainly great but I'm not at all offended by a cash bar either. I mean, let's face reality....weddings are terribly expensive and the point of it isn't really to give your family and friends the biggest whopping party they've ever seen, at your expense. I think you've done good in giving the issue a lot of thought and recognizing what you can or can't afford to foot the bill for at the reception. However, I, as a guest, would not necessarily be offended by, but would probably be a little annoyed to have had the decision made for me on what I could or could not drink, even if I wanted to pay. I do agree with many of the other answerers that it is your day and you do what you want and can afford. And I think it's wonderful of you to provide free beer, wine, and soda. Although, I still think people deserve the freedom of choice to purchase a drink of their preference if they so desire.
2006-10-26 08:01:42 · answer #2 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It seems to me that you've already given this a lot of thought--well deserved applause for considering your guests . I've been to charity functions and political functions where I've been asked to pay for my own drink, but I have never been a guest at a wedding where I've been asked to pay for my drink, and I think you're right to exclude this option.
It's quite ok to serve whatever you want to serve at your party. If you want to serve only soft drinks, beer, and wine, then I think it is appropriate that you have only soft drinks, beer, and wine behind the bar (assuming that the bar is for only your guests). I've been to lots of parties where the options were wine, sparkling water, or soft drinks--I didn't think twice about it. I chose from the menu of what was available, as I would in a restaurant--even though my cocktail of choice is Jack Daniel's.
I think you're on the right path if you don't think you can afford a full bar. Tell the facility that there will only be beer, wine, and soft drinks available. They do know how to deal with these limitations, and I don't think that you'll have any serious problems. My experience is that, even if you had a reasonably full bar, the bartenders would still listen to complaints--why Beefeater's instead of Tanqueray?, etc. These complaints, as well as complaints that there was no hard liquor, are really not important.
Go with your plan and enjoy.
2006-10-26 07:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Le Miccine 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you've heard about a cash bar being rude is true...kind of.
It is rude to not provide ANY alcohol for your guests on the house. It is acceptible, however, to have a soft bar complimentary and allow them the option of purchasing harder drinks.
I think it would be just fine for you to have a soft bar on the house, and have guests pay for hard drinks. You are still being gracious hosts by providing alcoholic beverages for them. And if they want to be picky and get harder drinks, you are giving them that option.
Most open bars include the house brands. If a guest wanted a Captain and Coke, they would be told that Captain is a call brand and isn't complimentary. That guest would either modify the order or would pay for the drink. No one has a problem with that, and I think that this situation would be kind of the same. If people want to drink harder stuff, they can. If they prefer to stick with what is being offered for free, they can do that too.
2006-10-27 08:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let the barstaff know, if the manager doesn't tell the them prior-- though I'm sure they'll be told. Will the drinks be served at the regular bar? Meaning, will there be the typical bottles of booze shelved behind the barman? If that's the case, it's going to be a little difficult to stop people from assuming the drink are included. Ask the manager if they remove the bottles, or what happens.
If there's nothing on display like that, I'm sure the management has lots of wedding party experience and the servers will know what to offer the guests-- "Would you like beer, wine or a soft drink?" is easy to understand.
2006-10-26 06:28:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your solution is great. There is nothing wrong with a soft bar. I agree totally with your reasoning. I wouldn't want my guests to pay for anything. I don't serve hard alcohol at dinner parties, so why should you have to at your reception. Beer and wine are perfectly acceptable. Good luck.
2006-10-26 09:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm.... I have mixed feeling on this....
I went to a wedding that only had cheap wine and cheap beer and it was terrible. I can only drink certain brands of beer and wine because I have stomach problems and anything cheap bothers me. So boy what fun I got to drink coke or orange juice all night..... and other people complained as well because some people don't drink beer or wine. We all ended up leaving early and going to the bar!!
Can you have a very limited supply of hard liquor like just the basics?
Just a coming from a different point of view.
2006-10-26 08:45:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cash bars are common at weddings that I have attended and are becoming MORE common. What some people have done is include a couple of tickets for free drinks in their inviations (or when they sign the guest book) and after that they pay. That way people can have what they want, you dont have to worry as much about idiot drunks and you keep your costs down.
2006-10-26 06:37:32 · answer #8 · answered by Cariad 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Great question and very responsible for trying to prevent the drunkenness.
I think that you should tell the reception hall that you would NOT like any hard alcohol at the reception of any type. You are requesting that they only serve the soft bar plus the standard non-alcoholic beverages.
I also don't think that you owe your guests any pre-notice of there being no hard alcohol at your wedding. It is your wedding so it is your choice.
-EZ
2006-10-26 08:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
by way of fact it quite is the way it is carried out on your city, i might basically invite the individuals to the marriage that are invited to the reception. you are able to then deliver out wedding ceremony bulletins after the reality to something of the individuals. to place each physique invited to the marriage yet reception by invitation basically will basically create complicated emotions and make you and your fiance look inexpensive.
2016-10-16 10:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by durrett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋