my partner left me with our 3 kids said he dont love me any more?

Question

he left 3 weeks ago he comes round all the time and says he will always love me but he is not in love with me he has just moved into a room in a house and says that it is over all my mates keep saying he will be back but i am not so sure i have told him i love him and i miss him he has also said that he knew that if he did not get out he would be stuck help i dont no what to do he just got up one day and said its not working

Answer 1

Don't worry about it. I got done the exact same way. But, guess what, I now have a man of GOD in my life, that's stepping up to the plate to provide for children that's not even biologically his. So, another will come along, just don't go looking, he'll come to you. MAY GOD be a blessing upon you all lives.

Answer 2

Please explain 5th line you said that he believes he would be stuck help??? Integral to offer support in which direction.

If there is some major friction or problem that he can't live with let him go and if you can be a friend in helping him work it out that's good.I don't particularly think this man is setting a great example to the children. It would actually be better if he stayed gone like he was man enough to make a humungus decision and that he did all he could before writing you all completely off. Have you thought about all this or just that you miss him? Just doesn't sound like too much good going on to stay. You will find somebody better, trust me.I have three beautiful children and now engaged to a beautiful man with three children his self.

Answer 3

"stuck" huh? He wanted to get out before he got stuck. Where I come from, three kids usually means "stuck." See, to get out BEFORE you get stuck, you make sure you don't create children... but that's another point for another day.

You need to consider the kids here, too. You don't have the luxury of pining away for this man, creating a revolving door for him. Kids first. That means support -- emotionally and financially.

So, get yourself to family court. This week. Fill out the paperwork to establish child support and visitation. While the whole process would be easier with a lawyer, it's not necessary to have one. Ask the clerks at the courthouse for help, or contact your local office of child support instead. Then file the paperwork with the court and wait for a hearing date.

In the meantime, talk to your kids. Let them know that while things may be in the transitional stage the kids do still have a mom and dad who love them, and encourage visitation as much as is feasible. Do not let him use these visits as an opportunity to play with your emotions...these visits are for the kids. Ask a friend or family member to assist with the visitations, if it's too hard on you initially.

Then get yourself some help, whether it's in the form of a group therapy session, one on one with a member of the clergy, mental health counseling -- or a kick boxing class. These are sure to be some trying times for you and you'll need to find a way to deal with the pain of a broken relationship, while keeping the rest of your family intact.

I wish you luck and peace....

Answer 4

That is a decision he made and you can't change it. You have to NOT allow him to come over whenever he wants to. Tell him you have other plans, even if you don't. You don't have to tell him what they are. He chose to step out of the relationship and so your business is not his business anymore. Sounds to me like he either has another GF or he is afraid of commitment, either way, you deserve better. Take some time to figure out what you want in a relationship, what you think is absolutely necessary and what you think is absolutely not allowable and don't settle for less than that, ever, even if he decides he wants to come back into your life. Your life is about you and your happiness. You can live without the insecurity of being with a man who doesn't know if he wants to be with you or not. Mutual contentment, mutual communication is important.

Answer 5

Your first mistake was having three children with a man that could not make a commitment to you. How did you expect this to turn out.? Now is the time to start making a comment to your children. Stop thinking about yourself and think about the children. This has got to be hard on them. They did not ask for this, but, you brought it on them. Start doing the right thing for them. Put them first, not your self. Pick yourself up and give what you can to the children. Do everything you have to so the children don't suffer.

Answer 6

You did not marry the man who fathered your 3 kids? What were you thinking? Of having more before he left you? He is a cad and you are simply naive! I'm sorry your state is pathetic. And now, dont go after him as he is done with you. Seek a job to take care of the little ones and give them a decent life.

Answer 7

You just have to work through it and move on. There is nothing that you can do other than make sure he helps to pay for his children's needs. Go ahead and get started on the child support process, it takes a while.

Answer 8

Victoria,

Trade up to a more advanced model with stay at home and better provider features. the the one that mows the lawn without being nagged and even does dishes and uses soap to clean the laundry ..... get a better role model for those kids to follow than the current very basic sperm donor model you have now.

Answer 9

Tell him you are happy he is gone and you wish he would stay away. His loss..you deserve better.
Good luck to you. Keep your pride, don't let this get you down, your kids are going to need you to be strong.
I have been there with three kids.
PS don't be surprised if he wants you back, I just hope you won't do it, after what he has done.

Answer 10

Move on sweetie, and I am sorry that he done this to you, he will not come back to you, find someone who will treat you with love and respect. But, most important, your kids need you right now, focus your attention on them.