Does anyone know of a good way with out spanking to get my 4 year old back on track ?I have tried time out?

Question

She dosent do well with time out she laughs at me. I even mad eup a rutene and have been following that and it still don 't work and good parenting tips out there?

Answer 1

I am a single mother of 5 year old twins. They have been doing chores since they were 3. This rewards them for helping around the house and in turn they get an allowance at the end of the week. When they are naughty and do things they aren't supposed to do they get a naughty x, which is 10 cents off their allowance. For every chore they do, which I made up a chart with pictures ect, they get 5 cents. When they do something nice or an extra chore, do good in school ect. they get an extra sticker on their chart (or marble) and that is worth 5 cents. At the end of the week we count them up and they can go buy a toy or go to the park ect. (you can use points instead of money, like 50 points would be the park or Mcdonalds, ect.) This way they are rewarded for the things they do good. Children respond best to positive input. When your child is getting off track, simply give 1 warning, then take away something she really likes like t.v. or a favorite toy. If you use the chart system you can reward her good behavior. If she can see on a chart how her progress is and see that she is getting naughty x's ect, it could change her attitude. She would then have something to look forward to and change the negative energy into earning extra money or points to get rewards! There is also a very good chore/ reward list at www.myrewardboard.com I hope this was helpful, it has worked for me!

Answer 2

You should spank unless you believe you would be an abusive parent. Ever since Jesus walked the face of this earth parents spanked and only in the past few decades has this been different. Mostly done based on no research by Dr. Spock. After it became a popular opinion, only then did they start doing research if his recommendations were valid. To this day there is enough evidence on both sides to refute both sides. There is not enough research done on a ‘true spanking.’ They lump swatting a kid on the bottom one time as a spanking where another parent considers a good spanking leaving marks on the legs and buttocks for hours afterwards.

Not until researcher can stick their nose into everyone’s family lives are they going to have conclusive research done on this subject and it just isn’t going to happen. That is the very reason this is a personal decision and not a popularity contest. Which btw, in the USA spanking wins the popularity contest, but not the Politically Correct contest that has only been around for two decades. Dr. Spock’s own personal family life certainly didn’t turn out that great. And where do you find the most “children?” In schools. We have seen the trend change in schools where it is almost unbelievable to one generation ago, much less two generations ago.

Give it time and you will see the Politically Correct evolve into “timeouts” being how convicts are treated. If you don’t want your child to become a convict, then don’t treat him like one.

You can eliminate your frustration and the frustration that you impose on your child with confinement by one spanking. And if done right you will only have to do it a couple of times a year at most. The truth is, it only takes one spanking to convert a non-spanker over to spanking. The reverse is not true unless the parent has become abusive.

Answer 3

Ok time out works if you ignore her laughing and if she gets up just keep putting her back until 4 minutes have passed and when it's over ask her if she knows why she got put there, get down to her level and ask, she will reply and want hugs! She may be mad the first few times but just be consistent and walk away from time out. You don't want to reward a child for doing well in time out, because that is not a good place, so just ask her each time, tell her you love her and go about your business. She is laughing at you to test you, don't get angry with her or show any emotion that it makes you mad, just pick her up put her there and walk away. My son is 3 1/2 and we haven't done time out in 3-4 months now, he is given a warning to go there if he acts up again and he knows where he is going

and if it starts working give rewards for good behavior, if my son is doing good with listening or whatever, sharing etc.. he gets a hot wheel when we go to the store

be patient

Answer 4

You and millions of other parents have got to get their kids back. She laughs at you because she doesn't respect you and your time outs are kind of jokes. If you dont' do it now, God help you when she's a teen.

You give boundaries and tell them if she crosses them then she will have to sit or lay down in her bed and literally do NOTHING. No toys, no music, no books, absolutely everything.

Dr. Phil dealt with parents that had no control over their kids and their discipline was a joke. Again, you literally take everything away from them and say that their toys and the ability to use them is not a right.

If they scream and cry, then you let them scream and cry.

It' time that they realize who's boss. There are too many cool parents out there that spoil their kids and are in a lot of denial.

Kudos for you for not being overly sensitive and realizing what your doing isn't working. Hang in there, dont' back down, you both in the end will be happier.

Answer 5

It depends on what the problems are. We have a treasure chest in our house with little candies / toys in them. Our four year old gets something out of there if he was a good helper at school and he takes a nap. He loves it! Once we introduced this, he has dug in it 99% of the time. We also use time out and it works great for us, but because it was implemented from day one...he is in foster care so we can't spank him and taking toys away doesn't really phase him...he has a great imagination...

Answer 6

Two suggestions that are variations of what others have said; start awarding your girl points for good behavior, and taking points away for bad. Only when she reaches a set level of points does she get things, like a video/TV/cookie/whatever she likes. Second, when she's naughty tell her that you're going to punish her, but later after you've thought really hard about it. Then within a relatively short period of time when she asks for something that she likes or its time to do something fun say, sorry your behavior [back when she was bad] was so rotten that you can't do [the thing she wants to]. Good luck

Answer 7

I don't know why you don't, but you really should spank. I was spanked---I turned out great. Never acted up in school, never mean to others, and I never once hated my parents for doing it. Sure, I was mad because it stung when I got spanked--but now that I look back on it, I'm so glad my parents didn't just stick me in the corner and make me "think about what I did". Time out isn't even a punishment. Children are sitting all day long--how is sitting in the corner going to teach them what they did was wrong? If that's the case, I'm being punished right now!

Answer 8

attempt talking in a mushy voice, carry him, hug him, study to him. notwithstanding if he screams, proceed analyzing perchance for 5 minutes. Then enable him flow, if he needs to depart. attempt this each hour or 2. do no longer take him everywhere or have buddies over till it is corrected. you should chat softly to him, on no account enhance your voice, even nevertheless this if complicated. grant him a handle or a particular toy--basically in a mushy voice. he will learn how to hearken to, and with a bit of luck supply up screaming. i quite desire this works for you. Your project is very severe and your physician would not have blown you off. i'm a mom of three, grandmother of 11. So I even have had lots of journey.

Answer 9

She probably laughs at you because she knows it gets on your nerves... you should try making her stay in time out and ignoring her and if she gets up and tries to leave the room, put her back on the chair and in a firm voice tell her that's what happens when she does something bad.

Answer 10

my husband and i made a board with a picture of whatever our 5 year old son wants.

he needs to get 10 or 15 or however many star stickers you think until you finally go out and buy it..
each day he is a good boy he gets a star.. that seems to help.. maybe you can try that..
good luck.