i had a relationship, with a guy for 18 months, and i cant lie, or bad mouth him but it was the most amazing year and a half of my life, we connected on so many different levels, shared everything, and loved to be in each others arms, we had our ups and downs, but we always made up, after 9 months we decided to have sex, it was amazing, we gave each other time alone, and it just felt so perfect, especially when he flew me to paris for my birthday and told me he loved me in the eifeltower, im getting myself upset again, sorry, but more to the point, it was his birthday, and i went to his house to suprise him, and he was in bed with my sister, that moment was the worst feeling, what should i do, leave him or stay?
2006-10-26 05:59:44 · 56 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry to say this, but your boyfriend committed two cardinal sins of relationships:
1) He was caught cheating on someone behind your back, and:
2) The someone was your sister
This is even worse than cheating on a friend of yours -- you can stop being friends with a girl he cheated with you on. You can't just disown your sister.
It's unacceptable to cheat to begin with, because to be honest, he's likely to do it again, *especially* if he'd go so far as to sleep with your sister. After all, if he's willing to drive that wedge between you and her, he'll have no problem down the road cheating on you with a stranger or friend.
He showed a complete lack of respect for you, and proved that he doesn't love you as much as he wants you to think he does. There is no reason to degrade yourself by sticking with him.
There are plenty of other men in the sea who will stay faithful and treat you like you deserve to be.
2006-10-26 06:06:41 · answer #1 · answered by Craig 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on a lot of things. Is he remorseful about it? Do you trust he will never do it again? Can you forgive him and get past it? Or are you going to dwell on it every time you're with him? Can you forgive your sister?
Love is an important factor in a relationship, but so is trust, loyalty, honesty and respect. If you have love and nothing else, it won't last.
I personally, would never be able to forgive him. This wasn't just an affair with some women he met, he did this with someone else that I love. He didn't just break my heart when it came to him, he broke my heart when it came to my family too. The same for your sister. I don't know if I would ever trust her again.
2006-10-26 06:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be a very forgiving woman if you took him back, but you’d still have to deal with the fact he slept with your sister and all those lovely things that he did with you bed, he did with your sister. I would enjoy the fact that I had the best year and a half of my life with a guy, who “was” great, but I would move on and I think you already know that. The big issue for you is what your sister did and how you can mend yourself. I would suggest getting some counseling to help you get through this and get on with your life. You have my sympathy and I wish you the best of luck!
CJ
2006-10-26 06:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know what you should do, you just need us to give you a little push.
If you continue with this guy, imagine what it would be like to be constantly worried every time you see him with another female member of your family.
It's not the fact that he stepped out that is the "major" problem, but if the man can cheat on you with your own sister... where is the respect?
Keep your happy memories but leave the guy, even were you to stay with him, you would have no "more" happy memories because you do not trust him anymore.
2006-10-26 06:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by Muriel V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all..i hope your doing ok....second of all your sister? What a great sister she is!...third of all leave him! You do not deserve that not one bit not girl does. Once a guy cheats it is so hard to get over it and not worry about him every five seconds hes not with you. And the fact that it was your sister was a very low blow and they both sound like pigs! He will only hurt you agian. 18 months is a long time but whose to say he hasnt done this before your sister? Move on take time for you and wait for your prince charming to come along....he will i promise! Good Luck!
2006-10-26 06:06:24 · answer #5 · answered by roxygurl1307 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, some of the most perfect guys can't keep their pants on. Don't think it is you. They just have no self control. He most likley won't change. Just cherish the romantic times you had, realize it is not you and go find someone you deserve. I am sorry this happened, I have had it happend to me so many times I lost count, but finally I have a husband who is faithful and wonderful, you will find that perfect person soemday. Hey at least you got a trip to Paris out of it. Good luck sweetie.
2006-10-26 06:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG...I'm so sorry! Wow...you need a good chick flick...and a man who can be trusted! And...he is utterly complete SLIME....to be dating you...and then to be sleeping with your sister? Come on...you deserve better than that! And...on another note...I would be pissed at my sis if she ever did anything like that...or even thought about it!
Sweetie...take it from someone who knows...you don't want to be in a relationship with him! I know its hard...but you can and you will find someone that is better! If you do stay...you're gonna be wondering how many other people he has been sleeping with! Not to mention...I wouldn't have sex with him again, seeing as how all the women he has slept with in the last 7 years...you are sleeping with! Eww!
2006-10-26 06:05:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave. Take away the best moments and walk away. The real issue is how you resolve this with your sister. Did she know you were together? You really need to work out your relationship with her and find yourself a man more deserving of your love.
Good luck hun! x
2006-10-26 07:00:21 · answer #8 · answered by Dakina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave,
You will not trust him again.
You'll be wondering if he's doing the
same things over again and again.
I know guys can do things like that,
that really break your heart.
But how someone can do that to
their sister, I can't understand.
I think I would have a very serious
talk with her and keep my future boy friends away from her.
2006-10-26 06:14:56 · answer #9 · answered by eviechatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him. If you don't, everytime you are with him you will be thinking of how he was with your sister. I mean how could you stay with someone who is low enough to take your sister to bed? And your sister has some answering to do herself. And do not try to kid yourself into thinking that he will not do it again because if you forgave him once he will know you will forgive him again. Stand up and be your own woman. No one should ever have to take that crap from anyone.
2006-10-26 06:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by Val 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋