OK- I have this friend who is super jealous I got engaged before her and she is driving me nuts. She just keeps making comments and "decision" about my wedding like it's her own. For example, she decided that cash bar would be a great idea to save money, plus SHE doesn't drink and then proceed to tell people that my wedding was cash bar. I was soo annoyed and we are having a full stock bar! Betty is still extremely mad because her and her BF have been together longer then us. She has made comments that she wants to get married in October which I didn't think much of because she not engaged or even in a good stable relationship. Well, I just found out through a mutual friend that Betty is DEMANDING an engagement for Christmas or she is leaving the guy. OK, well I am getting married the first week of NOV and she was talking about getting married right around Halloween!!!
OK- it's not like I own the date but I think it's really rude! Plus it sucks for all of our mutual friends that have to be in two wedding back to back, plan and pay for 2 showers and bridesmaids dresses and such.
There is the chance, that her BF is more sane then her and realize they are not ready to get married and NOT get her the ring but I am just preparing myself for the worst. I do feel bad, because I want her to be happy but I know her since childhood and I just feel like she is trying to "beat" me in the game of life!
Anyone else have this happen?
And how did you handle it??
2006-10-26 05:35:43 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
OKAY: watch out i have good one.......
now here is what you do..
find out what colors she is using - telling her a few days later that you have pick or changed your colors to those colors. act as if i was your brilliant idea..
next find out what band / DJ she is using follow step one....
then find out where her honey moon is and tell her your going there to ACT surprised !!!!!
make her feel the way she is making you feel,,, be one step behind her( of course your not you have all your own plans in place already( not including her of course on these plans ) but she will be running around try to out do you and she will have to keep changing her plans because you'll keep pretending to steel them, she won't have time to get it all together )
oh a last thing if her boy friend has not prosed on his own yet and she threatens him... he will run as far away from her as he can so her wedding won't happen any ways .....
2006-10-26 06:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by purple_eyed_dragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not feel bad for being upset. Your wedding day takes over your whole life until it happens, and it really sucks that your fiances friend did that, although, was it really his choice or did his fiance pick the date. Anyways, it doesn't matter. I would keep going with your own plans. Trust me when I say that you don't really remember everyone at your wedding anyways. All that matters that its you and your fiances day and if you two are there, it doesn't really matter who else shows up. I am sure that other people that you are expecting and/or really want to come will not show up later. Things always come up in peoples lives. Don't change anything, just keep planning and make it the best day of your life. Good luck and congratulations! Just hire a great photographer, and then send the pictures to your fiances friend to rub it in his face that he didn't get to come and that your wedding was better than his anyways lol.
2016-05-21 22:25:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recently found out that my ex-fiance is getting married the same month as I am. Sure, it is a bit annoying, but you need to let your day be about you (and him), and not about your friend's B.S. Just look at is this way: In 10 years, when you look back on your wedding experience, do you want a happy memory or an unhappy memory? YOU are the only one that can ensure that this is a happy experience for you. You will NEVER be able to control the actions of others, only your response to those actions. Choose happiness, and don't let it get to you.
2006-10-26 05:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin P 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How badly do you want to be friends with her? You may have known her since childhood, but you two are no longer children. What brought you two together back then is not what keeps you together today.
You're just going to have to ignore her or sit her down for a talk and hope she "listens" to you.
Realize that your friend is insecure and envious - that's probably what's motivating her. She may either realize what she is doing or may not. Of course, she may know exactly what she is doing and hate it but can't seem to stop herself and that same time - which just adds to her stress and guilt.
Sit her down and talk with her. Let her know how you feel and how her actions are affecting you, the other bridesmaids, etc. Don't be accusing or pointing the finger. Just talk to her. She'll probably get upset and defensive - but work around that. That's her coping mechanism. As much as it may be uncomfortable for you to have this conversation - it'll be worse for her since you're pointing out her faults.
Just let her know that you hope she is happy for you - the same that you will be happy for her when her special day comes.
2006-10-26 05:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by betsymaemae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you love the man you're about to marry enough to just quietly go somewhere nice and get hitched without all the fuss and drama? Hopefully, you do. Because if you're looking to do one of these big Busby Berkely wedding extravaganzas where it's all bout You, You and You some more, your marriage is going nowhere. Dead on arrival. I'll give it 18 months. Stop all the nonsense and high school foolishness and just get married. In Vegas. Have a nice honeymoon in Mexico. Just the two of you. You have to realize it's not who gets married first, but whose marriage fails first. I must be honest here, but I think you need to do some serious soul-searching. Or your marriage is doomed.
2006-10-26 05:55:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've never had it happen but if I were you, I would just sit down and talk to her. Be real with her and ask her what's up. Give her your concerns, ask her if she's truly not happy for you or if she's letting her jealousy control her emotions and tell her that you very much want to see her happy too and you know it will happen when the time is right! I say, just confront her and call her out on it. You don't need this added stress during your time to be the bride!
2006-10-26 05:41:42 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No but I would just ignore her. Typically if we ignore the trouble makers they quit playing the game. She is trying to get a response out of you, so just ignore it and whatever happens, happens.
And if she does get hitched around the same time you do, so what? Don't be so self centered that nobody else can get married around your date - even if it's out of spite or for whatever reason.
After all - weddings shouldn't be all about the bride. They should be about 2 people making a life long commitment to each other and that should be your main focus.
2006-10-26 05:47:52 · answer #7 · answered by nursechic 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok Me and my sister in law was both getting married in September she was the 2nd and I was the 29th, she claims that she didn't know we were getting married that same month but her b/f at the time knew so he made the date. But hubby and I decided to give them the joy that month and moved it untill xmas of this year. So they can have the spotlight for now...
2006-10-26 06:37:08 · answer #8 · answered by hnyangelfire101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW... after reading your LONG explanation (and whining) it doesn't sound like you're really "friends", but rather long-term acquaintances who are playing stupid games !! If you're REALLY friends... coordinate so the bridesmaids dresses are the same !!
I guess it's just because I'm a guy and roll my eyes at the level of bull-hockey you girls will involve yourself in.
I DID once have a wedding conflict once... my lil brother had set his wedding date (me as best man)... then 3 months later, a good friend set hers (to another good friend... same day !! South Lake Tahoe for my brother... and at Truckee for my friends.
I went to my brothers... did my duties, had a blast !! I then had one of the limo's drive me 60 miles to attend my friends reception... then drive me BACK so I could help make sure my brother got off for their honeymoon.
VERY good for me... I only have to remember ONE date for two anniversaries !!
2006-10-26 05:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by mariner31 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are worrying too much about this. Live your own life and tell her to live her own life. If she is truly a friend, from childhood, she must realize that things change and there isn't competition. Life is life. No matter what tho', good luck to you.
2006-10-26 06:37:07 · answer #10 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋