my daughter is 2 yrs old. because of possessiveness i cannot tolerate her getting close with others except pap

Question

i am working. my daughter gets closer with my mil more than me. she is the person who looks after her when i am out for work. since i am possessive i feel that my daughter will become close to her granny more than me. pl help

Answer 1

She will always love you you. You are her mother, besides it might be good if she is close to her granny. She might need her help oneday. Don't read to much into it. It's good for a child to be close to their grandparents.

Answer 2

Let your daughter get mingled with everyone not only with your mil. The kids should be always brought up in a more freindly environment and you should never be possessive. I should say you are very lucky to have mother in law like you who is realy showing her care,love and affection towards your baby.After work give more time for your daughter which will make baby to feel for you more.

Answer 3

Hi there,

I know how you feel. I got a baby who is seven mths old and i have joined back to work. My mom is looking after my baby. But thank god i don't have to keep my son in some day care with some unknow person. Its after all my mom who took care of me taking care of my baby. Grandparents play a very important role in a childs life. Be happy that your daughter is in safe hands. And a Mother will always Be a Mother. No one can replace her and its a fact. Trust me just learn to accept it. Take time off your busy schedule and spend time with your daughter. And dont be possessive your daughter will always love you as her mother and u cannot be replaced.

Good luck and god bless

Answer 4

No one can be closer to your baby then you. She was in your womb, you carried her, nurtured her, and obviously love her very much. That is the way I view it anyways. I was also very possesive of my baby for the first month even towards the dad. I did not even want others to hold my baby. It has slowly dwindled away but cannot even think of letting anyone have my baby for a couple hours (shes seven weeks) even her dad because im worried he will let her cry and i dont let her cry for more then five minutes because I know she needs something. I dont know if it will get easier. But just rest assured that moms and dads are more important to children then grandparents but you may have to face the facts in life that your child will drift away from you as time progresses and there is a time in life when your childrens friends may seem more important then you. So let this be a learning experience for later lessons in life..and your child will always love you the most.

Answer 5

I can uNDerstand how you feel. I went through that with my first child. But now I am glad that my mother was able to take care of her while I worked, because between the 2 of us, we made an exquisite, most forgiving, and determined child. If my Mom has not been there she would not be the way she is now.
And believe me, I don't say this because she is my daughter, I have 3 other children that were raised just by me and my husband (2nd husband) and none compare to her. Even thought they are all caring., but not to the dimension of my eldest daughter.

Answer 6

She is young and so long as the time you are home is spent with your daughter, she will still continue to bond with you. When young, children tend to lean toward whom they see most. This will probably stop around 4 years old.

Let me tell you this though... be glad your mother is a special part of her life. I wish I had that for my two boys. It's wonderful for your daughter to have a relationship outside from the one she has with you. Your daughter needs to know how to love other people.

Don't worry mom, your not losing her. Just be happy she is with someone she loves while you are working. There is nothing sadder then sending your child to a sitter and then the child is miserable.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Since you're a working mom, much like myself, take time out each night or weekend to do something special w/ your daughter. Read to her every night or color w/ her, whatever she enjoys doing. As long as she's loved by all those who care for her, there's no reason to be jealous. You're her mommy and no one can replace you! She knows that as well, but maybe too young to express that to you verbally. All members of a child's family holds special places in their hearts that can't be touched. Be thankful that she shares that special relationship w/ her grandma, a lot of kids aren't that lucky. If you still get jealous or envious, maybe make it a point once a month to get together for lunch w/ just the girls (you, daughter and grandma). Those special times are the ones your daughter will cherish and always remember!!!

Answer 8

I know how you feel, my mom watched my daughter for 3yrs well i worked from age 10 months to age 4 yrs now my daughter is in pre-school/ daycare and i used to worry that she was closer to my mother but really nobody can take your place in your childs life.... My child has a very good relationship with her grandma but i will always be her mommy!!! so don't feel that way....

Answer 9

I might come off as harse and I am sorry. But you need to get over it, either stop working and stay home with your daughter or just live with it. You should be greatful that she is getting close to her granny, and not some stranger in a day care.

Answer 10

There is no substitute for a mother and the child knows who her mother is. Dont' worry. You want your child to have a close attachment to the grandparents.

Your child loves you unconditionally. Just make sure that you spend quality time with her. Give her things that she can get excited about like trips shopping for something special, or a trip to the zoo, a special breakfast on a Saturday morning.

Answer 11

it is ur guilt that u r not caring ur daughter enough make u feel this way.
it is natural if ur daughter develops more love toward her granny than she means it to u.
parents should find time to play with their children especially when they are babies when they learn to understand people.
she must learn that ''she is my mum and she loves me vey much,she cares for me"
for this u must pay special attention to her at this time.
time cannot be held back,if this period is gone,it's gone forever
and no use if u give all ur love and care to ur daughter at a later
stage, when ur retired from ur work.
every action has its own time and if done at an inappropriate time,
it is meaningless.
normally paps have this problem ,but iam surprized to see a mum having such a complaint.
so take some days off from ur work to care for ur daughter,and
i hope ur boss will understand a mother's feeling