2006-10-26 05:20:29 · 7 answers · asked by rellimztik_arual 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
By just being there for her she may want to be left alone if thats the case respect her space but if not then just be by her side dont say you understand what shes going through or how shes feeling if you have never experienced that yourself (hopefully you never have if you have i'm very sorry) but even if you havent experienced her pain you can tell her "I cant even imagine what your going through or feeling but whenever you need me i'm here for you" I guess thats all you can do is be there for her but it's obvious you must be a good friend for wanting to know ways to console her good for you!!!
2006-10-26 06:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand that your friend just had a death in her family. Someone who was very close to her.
The Kübler-Ross model suggests there are 5 stages of grief:
1. Denial: This may be very quick with a miscarriage, or go on for months/years.
2. Anger: "Why?" Questions like how come and what did I do to make this happen arise.
3. Bargaining: Usually with God, sometimes with the father or spouse. If I do this, will you still love me, or allow me to have another baby, or keep this from ever happening again. Or the big one: If I do ..... will you make it stop hurting.
4. Depression: It really happened, how can I continue to live with myself. I will never have another child. My partner/spouse no longer loves me because of this.
5. Acceptance: It happened, I love my child but its time to go on with my life.
According to this model, a person must go through all of the stages. Skipping one through four and ending at five is just denial and without the rest of the steps acceptance cannot ever really take place. I like this model, because the worst stage is of course depression. But after depression comes acceptance and that appears as a light at the end of the tunnel, both for her, and for you as her friend.
Help your friend by being there, help her see each step as it unfolds. Talk with her in a caring and loving way so that as each step happens she will know that there is still someone who "understands".
Do some research on grief and grief therapy, the more information you have the easier it will be to deal with her problems. Also understand that she will deal with each stage at her own pace. Acceptance may take a couple of days, or a lifetime, and both are normal.
2006-10-26 13:32:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend probably feels her world has fallen apart. You obviously feel for her having written this. Give her as much of your time as you can, lots of cuddles and tell her life goes on. I am old now but my wife had a miscarriage early on in our marriage, we thought our life , at the time was hell. We now have two healthy sons both married and, give us so much love. Tell her to take time.
2006-10-26 13:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by doug e 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there. I had a miscarriage and just wanted to cry. I really wish i would have had a good friend like you to just be there
2006-10-26 14:58:44 · answer #4 · answered by ♥mommy of 4♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her, listen if she wants to talk and be supportive. Do not say things like you can always try again, or you weren't that far along. It really doesn't help. Trust I have been there, done that. Also if you are preg try to remember she is hurting and ask if you can share your joy. Don't shove it on her.
2006-10-26 14:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by kerijeanbean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her a funny book.
The Secret diary of Adrian Mole always cheers me up.
2006-10-26 12:37:58 · answer #6 · answered by Typhoon_ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just console her by understanding her feelings and let her know that everything is going to be okay....and that you are there for her....
2006-10-26 12:42:11 · answer #7 · answered by hunny_be24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋