I went out with this guy for 2 yrs..(on and off) but about a year ago we broke up and now we're back together.. During the 2 yrs we never had sex and now I think that since we're both older and I expect wiser.. Maybe we should do it. But I'm second-guessing myself. It's not like he can't turn me on because he does.. Just thinking about him is a turn on. But I think that once we do it, it'll change our realationship and I guess you could say that I am afraid of changes.. So what do you think that I should do?......
2006-10-26 05:06:52 · 17 answers · asked by Foxxy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I never said that I was a virgin.. I just said that I never slept with him...
2006-10-26 05:14:39 · update #1
I guess the question really should be are you ready for sex?
Dating someone for two years should give you a clue of whom to have sex with, but are you really ready to have relations with this partner? Hate to say this, but if you didn't have sex in the two years you dated this guy, then going back to your ex for sex is probably a bad idea. Don't get me wrong, i'm sure he's a great guy, but the two of you broke up for some reason before getting back together. Also, you are "technically" starting over with your relationship, so maybe giving yourself some time to mull over the decision would be beneficial.
You are right, however, in that intimacy at that level will change your relationship. If you really care about this person, sex should make your relationship stronger. But two years and no sex has already done its damage (remember, the two of you broke up before). Having sex now may not repair the damage from before, if that's your thinking on the subject.
Here's my advice. Treat this guy as a new boyfriend that you are willing to try new things with. Start slowly, get advice from professionals, don't go into a sexual relationship with trust issues, resolve the reasons for breaking up in the first place… then you should know whether you are ready to make love to this person.
Wish you luck!
2006-10-26 05:14:12 · answer #1 · answered by diagofaldi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you are scared to lost your bf and thinking of having sex with him, may make him stay with you and probably marry you eventually. You had parted B4 and back again now.If you think of preserving the relationship with him, then you must treasure your virginity to make him longing for you. Should you have sex with him b4 getting married, it is not certain he may continue to have the relationship with you. He might abandon you after getting what he want from you. At least, even now, if your bf abandon you again, you still do not loss a thing. Think it over. Sex is not an assurance for faithfulness, but the heart that's fonder that will bond you together.
2006-10-26 05:27:45 · answer #2 · answered by atbt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its all about your age and your comfortability with sex. Are you mature enough to handle the changes because YES... Sex will MOST definitly change EVERYTHING... It will become a focal point of your relationship. So... are you ready for that? Also, remember to be careful. Im not sure if you've seen the HPV commercials, but even when using protection such as condoms, a person can catch HPV. Its estimated that as much as 98% of sexually active people have HPV in some form... and it can cause cancer. So be careful.
2006-10-26 05:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex and being physical is kind of an important part of being in a relationship. You guys will eventually want to make that big and important step; although I think you should eventually be physical with him, I think you should wait until you are ready. Rushing into something can only make matters worse; however, if you are ready to be with him, then I say go for it and have some fun!
2006-10-26 05:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think this will change your relationship, your probably right. Now.... Your obviously a pretty good girl, and you've waited along time. I think you probably know this guy isn't right for you deep down, cause he'll be the one changing. So I'd say don't sleep with him and find someone that sex will not change the relationship, to drastically.
2006-10-26 05:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by curt f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, if it is taking you so long to make up your mind don't do it. This may result into some thing that is going to hurt you even more than ever. Two years now and it still have not happen, i think you better leave well enough alone.
2006-10-26 05:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by annsharq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Foxxy,
Yes, you should do him. You are putting too much importance on virginity. If you both love each other, and in fact are in a committed relationship, then why not? Be sure to have him wear protection and lots of lube. Have fun.
--Rick
2006-10-26 05:11:28 · answer #7 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a hard question to really answer you can only really follow your own heart on that one.it really depends if whether things are different between you both now maybe staying the way you both are has kept it alive.but you are both older maybe wiser just be careful with your emotions
2006-10-26 05:11:39 · answer #8 · answered by martin r 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's this "maybe" we should do it? Not a good reason.. Keep things the way they are because they will change and not always for the better.
2006-10-26 05:09:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what caused you to be on and off again? think about this, during your on and off periods, if you werent having relations with him, he might have been having them with someone else. if you still have to ask the question i dont think you are ready to give him something that valueble. if you go ahead and do it and then you break up you might feel bad.
2006-10-26 05:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋