a week to help her save for her own place. we have had alot of problems in the recent past and she refused the offer- i already pay her cell phone bill of $68 a month and provide a place now for her to live. i told her she had to move out. her kids are living with their dads so they are taken care of. how long should i give her to get out. i'm really at my wits end with her.
2006-10-26 04:55:55 · 34 answers · asked by katwoman0463 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
BY THE END OF THE MONTH. (YES, THAT'S NEXT WEEK). I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S TIME FOR HER TO GROW UP. YOU SAID THAT HER "KIDS" LIVE WITH THEIR "DADS". HOW MANY DOES SHE HAVE? ARE THEY WITH THEM BECAUSE SHE'S UN-FIT OR ARE THEY JUST THE BETTER PROVIDER? MANY UNKNOWNS HERE. BUT I WOULD SAY THAT IF SHE'S GOT A JOB AND IS NOT WILLING TO GIVE YOU $35 A WEEK -- ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU SAY THAT IT WOULD BE TO "HELP HER SAVE FOR HER OWN PLACE" --AND NOT EVEN RENT, THEN SHE NEEDS TO BE KICKED OUT OF THE NEST AND START LEARNING WHAT REAL LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.
NOW, IF SHE'S REALLY STRUGGLING BUT IS HONESTLY TRYING, I'D TEND TO BE A LITTLE LESS HARSH. BUT WITH THE INFORMATION GIVEN, I'M NOT SURE THAT'S THE CASE HERE. A PERSON CAN ONLY HELP OUT SO MUCH. IT'S REALLY HARD TO HELP SOMEONE THAT'S NOT TRYING TO HELP THEMSELVES. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.
2006-10-26 05:06:13 · answer #1 · answered by LIPPS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez the kid is 23 years old. If she refuses to help with the rent then I'd give her a couple of weeks to find a place and then discontinue paying for her phone or anything else. Like you said she has a job now and can pay her own freight. If she cannot find a spot then let her go and stay at a shelter, then she'll see how good she had it when she was at home.
2006-10-26 05:07:45 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was 18 years old, I was on Social Security until I could find my own job, as a person with a disability, it took me much longer to find someone to hire me. I had to pay my mom for 300$ a month for room and board and I had to pay MY OWN phone bill.
My mother and I had a disagreement on something petty, but short end of it, She kicked me out, no notice and I moved in with my father. My mom also offered to drive me to a homeless shelter if I preferred. Because I moved in with my dad, he was able to help me find a job and get a car along with my first apartment.
Your daughter is an adult. She needs to pay her own bill and with the cost of living so high, $35 a week is NOTHING. I would encourage you to stop paying her bills, especially since she has a job and give her 2 weeks to move out on her own. There should be a homeless shelter you can offer to drive her to. She may be motivated to start taking responsibility and acting like an adult.
There are many people out there that I talk to on a daily basis who have NO job, No Car and NO place to live and they have kids with them. My job is to give these people resources so they can get back on their feet, and many of them for the time being have to rely on homeless shelters and food pantries. She has it fortunate and is taking you for granted. That is not love.
2006-10-26 05:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has a job then 2 weeks should be fine if not then maybe a month so she can get a job then a pay check...and good for you for not letting her run over you like way too many parents do...i wish my mom could do the same with my brothers that r sponging off of her!...you should stop paying her phone bill too,just give her .50 cents and tell her to save it in case of an emergancy..lol..i say lol but i am serious!
2006-10-26 04:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by CRYSTAL S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would not pay for a cell phone bill! If she can't afford a cell phone, then give it up. However, I would open my home to my daughter for any length of time. I feel that I brought my daughter up with good sense and if she got into this position she needs my support to let her find her way out. But that is my kid... You will have to be the judge of your own.
2006-10-26 05:02:26 · answer #5 · answered by iav8_eh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her that she needs to pay $150 a month to help with bills and groceries. Save the money for a few months and put a deposit down on an apartment. She will need to find roommates to help with rent. You should have open communication with your daughter. Especially now that she's moved back home. You don't want to ruin the relationship that you have with her. Do you have a good relationship?
2006-10-26 04:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 months. That is long enough to save and move and still have money in the bank in case of emergency if she knows how to budget her money wisely, I'm 32 and when I got my first job a 17 my parents made me pay $30 each week for rent to. And when I graduated from high school and went to college, they gave me the money back. They said that they were teaching me a lesson in responsibility. To this day, I still put that $30 in a separate bank account because I was shocked to see how it added up.
2006-10-26 05:02:57 · answer #7 · answered by arrizona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this is hard but shes an adult and she needs to start contributing to the household. shes lucky its only 35 a week and you arent asking for money on the food or other bills. you should stop paying her cell phone bill and teach her a lesson. i think you have to give 30 days? but if shes not on the lease or anything i suppose you can have her leave anytime. atleast the kids are taken care of so you dont have to worry about who they are staying with.
2006-10-26 04:59:46 · answer #8 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You pay her cell phone bill? She has kids? Refused to pay you "rent" to get her own place? She needs to be held responsible for herself. I wouldn't pay the cell phone bill. She shouldn't even have one as this is a WANT not a nessecity!
I would tell her to pay up or get out period. Put her stuff on the doorstep and say see ya!
2006-10-27 01:28:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are enabling her when you pay for thing like her phone bills, you mention that she has kids, that should be enought to make her grow up and take responsiblility. You should give her a notice in writing, state clearly the date that you expect her to leave and don't let the guilt of been a bad parent get the better of you, she needs this, so she can go out and excell in life and revel in her own independence.. When she is older she will thank you for it.
good luck.
2006-10-26 05:05:01 · answer #10 · answered by agata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋