I need help with this one. There is this guy that I work with. Im 25, he is 42. He has liked me for some time and we have become really good friends. Last night he told me that he thinks that we are beyond friends but not qutie "together". His son is 3 years younger than me. My parents had a huge age difference as well that doesnt seem weird to me or my family. I know that I shouldnt care about what others think but I would like to have a family someday.... Im not sure what to think so any advice would help. Im a full time student that is moving soon and we also work together!! Should I just let it go or try and have a relationship...... Im so confused What would you think if you saw a couple that had a 17 year age difference, or would you do it yourself if you cared for that person???
2006-10-26 04:53:29 · 45 answers · asked by Miss C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't get mad at me but i don't think you should go out with someone who is old enough to be your dad
2006-10-26 04:58:23 · answer #1 · answered by °The Earth Goddess° 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is always a tricky question. I think it depends on the two people. Personally, I try not have more than a 10 year age difference. Its too awkward and causes too many problems down the line. And when u start to think about BEING w/ someone and starting a family, u need to take that into consideration. He's already been through and had all the joys you'd like to one day have.
The fact that he has a child your age doesnt sit too well either.
Basically, it depends on what you WANT, though. If you have strong feelings for him and REALISTICALLY see yourself w/ this man, then go for it.
There will be a lot of obstacles to get over and a lot of barriers but if you REALLY like him and could see yourself being 'in love' with him, then you shouldnt let age stand in the way.
But before you make a decision, think about it, and weigh ALL the options. B/C him being 42 means that he's probably not looking for something 'part-time' or for a short while.
Are you ready to commit to a man that much older?
Probably sounds corny but 'follow your heart' and if you do decide to give it a shot, take it slow.
2006-10-26 05:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by sa_hollingsworth 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If I saw a couple that had this age difference I would be happy for them because age is just a number. It doesn't define the happiness and love between two people. I would date a man that was that much older than me. I dated a guy that was about 15 years older than me. Your worried about starting a family??? There is nothing to be worried about sweetie. A man can continue producing babies well into old age. A man can produce as long as he's alive. Us women on the other hand don't have it like that seeing we have to reach menapause. You can still have a family so don't worry about that. This man could be the best thing for you. Do you really want to let something like this go??? This really isn't a good reason to do so. If he's someone you can see yourself settling down with and treating you like you want to be treated then you need to go with your heart.
2006-10-26 05:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty big age difference but suppose it could work out. But you must be aware that you two will not have much socially in common including friends, music, etc. Also if you are wanting to begin a family of your own someday you have to realize that your children will be young and this fella probably won't be capable of escorting them to their sporting events and take too active a role in raising them. As well other kids may think that your kids dad is their granddad. But if your heart tells you that this may be the fella for you then give it a shot. But be sure to weight the positive and negative aspects of this relationship before jumping in with both feet.
2006-10-26 05:00:19 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart dont matter what you are doing in the furture it matter what you feel now. When you are around him dose he treat you good tell you things if so that what matters not where your going or the age. 17 yrs is not nothing my paretns are 17 yrs and they been marrie 31 yrs age aent nothing but a number remeber that sweety and let your heart do the talking for you who knows this could be your one true love and you are going to give it up because of the age. You might never have a chance like this again.
2006-10-26 05:14:58 · answer #5 · answered by baby_doll66012 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has never been a strange thing to have an age difference that large. Being able to communicate on the same or close levels is much more important. A silly girl with a stern man will be unhappy no matter what the ages are.
2006-10-26 05:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by sixgun 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me and my fiance are 10 years apart. I can honestly say that I made the right choice for me. Everyone is different, but what really matters is whether you are able to accept the age difference and everything that comes with it. Like you say he has a son that is 3 years younger than you, He might not want anymore children and you are only 25. You are still young and probably like going out with your friends and he might perfer to stay home more. Only you can really know what is right for you. Hope everything turns out well for you.
2006-10-26 04:59:07 · answer #7 · answered by ceci_garcia21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...If you care for eachother, give it a try. Weigh the pros and cons if you're really struggling to make a decision. Seriously sit down and write down a list of all the reasons why you want to be with this man and then write down a list of things that make you not want to try a relationship with him right next to the other list. If more good will come from one side, then there's your answer. Keep in mind though, that once you finish school, you're just beginning your life adventure, and he may be more inclined to lay back and settle in as he's already "been there done that."
2006-10-26 04:59:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on a couple of dates to see what happens. My parents were 17 years apart and my wife is older than I am (I'm 40). Age difference is not a big deal! Don't worry what others think! The guy could be perfect for you and if he isn't no harm, no foul! Good Luck!
2006-10-26 04:56:26 · answer #9 · answered by Scotsman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I cared for that person then I wouldn't mind having a relationship at all. And you still have time to have a family if you don't wait to long. Larger age gaps in relationships is seen more today then in the past. If that is the way you want to roll then go for it. But make sure that he wants to have a family before you go to far along
2006-10-26 04:57:24 · answer #10 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I date older men too. I was with a guy who was 17 years older then I was for 3 years. But the only thing that worries me is if I end up with an older guy he is going to die 20 years before I do. I will more then likely be to old to "look" for a bf at 60-70 year old. that is the only thing that worries me about dating someone 20 years older. I think if you like this guy then go for it. Who cares what age his kids are. If you get along then that is what it important.
2006-10-26 04:57:10 · answer #11 · answered by tjnw79 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋