Wedding Question...?

Question

I posted this yesterday but put it under the wrong category!
got engaged in August and just moved in with my fiance. He has told me we can get married when, how & wherever I want so everything is basically up to me. We each have 2 teenagers and they all live with us. 3 of the 4 teens (girls) are adamant about wanting to be in the wedding and not wanting us to elope. I suspect their main concern is getting to wear a cool dress! I really just want to elope or get married by the JP and take a cool honeymoon. We have both been married before. Having a wedding here brings up all kinds of stressful issues, like both of are ex's would probably want to attend, trying to keep it small but too many people that would be offended if they are not invited....
So.....any good suggestions???

Answer 1

I would have a relaxed summer time wedding on the beach with a JP. I think the girls really want to be a part of your wedding, and would be hurt if you eloped. You could do a sand ceremony at the wedding, where each child has a container of sand, and they pour their sand into a large decorative bowl. It symbolizes the families coming together. Also, this way the girls could wear summer dresses, much less expensive than the traditional bridesmaid dresses. Good luck and have fun!!

Answer 2

The teenagers should definitely be included. Be grateful that they want to be involved.

A second wedding can be small and festive. Certainly, it can be beautiful and SIMPLE.

I don't know where you live, but if it's cold outside, maybe you could get married at a ski lodge. If it's warm where you are, go to a waterfall or a place where there's lots of trees. If those ideas won't work, go to a restaurant that has a private room.

Joining two families (I know this first hand) is a big deal, but having all the family members involved is important. You can still have a small wedding with just the immediate family. I'm sure you could get a JP or judge to perform the ceremony. If you tell people that only immediate family will participate, that should solve the problem of inviting many people. After all, it is your wedding.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Congratulations! That's great that the kids are backing your choice. As far as the wedding, what can you afford? If you have the bucks, then you can do it up nicely with the kids involved. So what if the ex's want to come? If your both in good standing with your ex's, then there won't be a problem. If your not, then just don't invite them. You can always just have a small wedding, with just family and VERY close friends involved, and invite more for the reception. If you want to keep that down, then choose a place that just won't accommodate that many people. If you are near a lake or ocean, get married on a boat that cruises around for 4-5 hours. They can only hold so many, and it's still can be very elegant. The biggest thing is just tell the kids what you want, and see what suggestions they come up with. They may surprise you. If they don't, they will have a notion on what you are having to deal with, and hopefully won't go into meltdown mode if they can't be in the wedding. They can do a reading, do the decorating, walk you down the aisle, do the guest book. Be creative. Good luck.

Answer 4

Okay go get eloped and when you come back you guys can have a reception at home and make it semi formal so the teen girls can wear cool dresses. You can always find inexpensive dresses online from bridal stores. You can invite all your family and friends. Have the reception at a restaurant or rent a place. All you need to pay for is food and maybe a dj. People have done this to avoid all the stress of an at home wedding. Good luck.

Answer 5

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and your blended family. Sounds wonderful!
If you can afford it, you could actually get married ON your honeymoon, at one of the many resorts that provide ceremonies. A beach wedding is romantic, intimate (and sometimes included in the package price). The downside is that the girls will probably be furious and hurt for not being included at all. Why not just have an intimate wedding in your home with the girls, each of your parents and a few friends. If you can't do that, then go to city hall and then to a very nice restauant for dinner. I agree with you in that a second wedding should be a quieter affair. The girls will get over not getting to wear a "cool" dress (four dresses out of your pocket..hmmm, there is your honeymoon air fare..LOL).
Buy each of the girls something nice, a keepsake, for example, a locket engraved with "We love you" or some words that are special to them in celebration of bringing your two families together.
Best of luck and congratulations again.

Answer 6

You can have a small JP ceremony and still have the teenagers be in the wedding, followed by an intimate reception with your close friends and family. If you keep it small, there is no reason to invite the exes, and no reason why they should expect it.

Then, you'll still have enough money left over for a cool honeymoon!

Answer 7

Why not just take the kids and have a destination wedding? Then you get your vavation and your wedding, but it's small and no ex's. I realize this is your honeymoon however, so you may not like the idea, but the kids are teens and will only need minimal supervision. Good luck. I'm sure a cute summer dress and a cool vacation would be just as good as a formal gown.

Answer 8

Have the quiet wedding and terrific honeymoon, if that's what you want. Then when you get back have a small reception and no you don't have to invite the ex's. Then the girls can get a nice outfit and not an expensive dress.. Good Luck

Answer 9

My fiance and I were just at a celebration of a marriage a couple of weeks ago. The couple were married with only their families present the night before in their backyard, live in northern Ontario and the leaves were turning so it was quite nice. The next night they rented a community centre and both came in their wedding garb for their friends to see them all dressed as man and wife. A meal was had and a dance held and it was a fantastic time. Like yourself my fiance and I have kids that want the big event and we are doing it. Her ex wants an invite, with his current woman with whom we are friendly. However, she is going to explain to him that it would be just to uncomfortable so they will not be invited. Do whatever feels right for you and your man and I wish you a happy married life together.

Answer 10

Why be stressed? Whose wedding is it anyway? You can all go to the JP and if the kids want to dress up, it's up to them, right? I think you should do what you want. Big traditional weddings can be so wasteful and expensive. Plus wouldn't it be a good lesson for your kids to learn what's most important in a marriage than putting on some big show?