Okay, my company is having an Xmas party and me and my boss would have to fly out for it (the home office is in another state). My b/f doesn't like my boss b/c of remarks that he's made to me and doesn't trust him. I don't think my company would fly out our spouses, so it would just be me and him....My b/f is not really telling me how he feels but he's acting indifferent towards. He probably doesn't trust me which sucks, but I really don't think he trusts my boss! Should I stay here or should I go out to the party? It would be for the whole weekend.
2006-10-26 03:56:03 · 17 answers · asked by inlovewow 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If the company is not willing to provide transportation for the spouse as well, then it is fine for you to decline. Do you think a weekend of Christmas party where your boss could be hitting on you would be worth losing your bf/spouse or damaging your relationship? If he worked for a woman that you did not trust and just the two of them were going fly off for a weekend for a Christmas party, how would you feel? I say, stay at home and tell him that you know how he feels and that you would not want to do that to him. You will score major points with him and the weekend will be free of guilt or fear and probably have a lot better time with your bf/spouse.
2006-10-26 04:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether he trusts your boss or not is irrelevent. You're not some poor flower who is wooed and confised by the oh-so powerful man. The question is simple: Can your boyfriend trust you or not, regardless of your boss' actions? By the way you're already handing control of any possible incident to your boss by implying it is HIM that needs to be trusted, I guess the answer is no.
EDIT: I am absolutely gobsmacked that so many of the messages here are giving you advice on how to keep your panties on should your boss make a move. I really don't see the problem. If you want to be faithful, you will be. If you do not, you won't. Your choice. Something tells me that you've already made your choice and your boyfriend is bang on the money about not trusting you.
2006-10-26 04:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by Dirty_Idea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...let's leave the boyfriend out the picture for right now...because I want you to focus on something else.
Ask yourself:
1. what kind of relationship do I have with my boss?
2. what kind of relationship do I want with my boss?
3. is my boss married?
4. if my boss and I are away together for a weekend and he wants to have sex, do I say yes or no?
5. if I say no, I'm stuck with my boss for the weekend...what do I do?
6. if I say yes, what will happen to my career?
7. and if I say yes and he's married, what does that make me?
You really need to look at the big picture about who you are, where you are in your career and where you want to be.
From what little you've said, it sounds as if this is the perfect opportunity for bossman and you to get it on for the weekend.
Now, back to boyfriend (remember him?).
He's just a boyfriend...you guys are not engaged or married.
But you two need to establish trust or what the hell is the point of having a relationship?
You both need to communicate with each other and sort out priorities.
A company party doesn't automatically mean spouses and/or relationship partners are invited...he needs to understand that.
But clearly, your boyfriend picked up on something.
He's a guy, remember?
He KNOWS the signs of when other guys hit on chicks.
Something gave him a hint that things might not be kosher with your boss.
Allow him that suspicion...put yourself in his shoes and reverse the roles: what if he had a hottie-babe for a boss and she asked your boyfriend to fly out for the weekend in another state for a party.
Honestly, what do YOU think might happen on that trip?
Now...it's your life, you make the choices.
Just be adult enough to accept the responsibilities and consequences of your actions.
2006-10-26 04:12:36 · answer #3 · answered by docscholl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it. Not without my man anyway. You have 2 choices. You can either tell your boss that you are insistant to be able to bring a date, or you can just make up some reason why you cannot attend. Tell him you forgot you've RSVP'd to a friend's wedding that happens to be that same weekend.
My BF wouldn't like a situation like that either and I think a whole weekend, out of town, for a party where they're will be alcohol....naw. That's too much!
2006-10-26 04:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can ask them if they allow the people you're in relationships with to come. If not, then go anyway, and just do your best to reassure your bf. These parties might be parties, but they are still part of your job. You should go, get to know the other people, and network. Who knows? It might actually help you get promoted, and to advance in the company. Explain this to your bf, and just make sure you stay away from your boss...don't put yourself in any compromising positions.
2006-10-26 04:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by LibraT 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with your b/f? Do you think it will lead to a commitment? If you love him and think it could, then I would sit down and see what he really thinks. Take his feelings into consideration, however, if this is just a casual thing and you want to go then go. You also have to live your life for you though. Ask for rooms on different floors if you have to, not that it would make much difference. Also, take into consideration your career. What will not going say to your company? Good luck, it is difficult, but I'm sure you will make a well informed decision.
2006-10-26 04:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by Carrie H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay here, why put your BF through all that, for a dumb party? I think you already know what to do our you wouldn't be asking us. Even though if you went you would be totally innocent of anything, who know's what your boss has in his mind. Why put yourself and your bf through all that. Besides you will miss your BF for that weekend and he will miss you. Instead of going to the Christmas party, spend the weekend with your BF and make it a special time for you both. If you love him and want to be with him, believe me he will really appreciate it. That's what love is all about compromise and sacrifice. Good Luck!!
2006-10-26 04:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to the party, but really watch the amount of alcohol you consume, as you probably already know its side effects! Also, make sure you are around people from the other offices that you are comfortable with and make sure they are women and you get a picture of you around them.
Have FUN!!!
2006-10-26 04:07:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get him a cheap flight he can stay in the hotel with you trust me it will be well worth the money spent because if you go without him think of the problem this will create and its christmas time your suppost to be with the one you love not some perve boss who hits on you thats what you man will be thinking and all weekend is a long time for him to be wondering what your doing and pleanty of time for him to get mad if he can't go i wouldn't go because yes it is good for you to be involved in work but you mans sanity is more important and your relationship because if you go and he don't just think of all the fights before and after. im just glad im not in your position GOOD LUCK BABES
2006-10-26 04:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by Kadie-bird 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to the party, and you and your boyfriend should figure out a way for him to fly out there on your own money. Why would you want to go without him anyway? Check airfares and bring him with you!
2006-10-26 03:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋