I'm currently pregnant with my second baby and I really don't want anymore kids, my fiance wants at least one more. I have tried talking to him about it but everytime I bring the subject up he gets defensive and asks why I don't want anymore of his kids. I'm 22 and I am working in a good lawfirm, I want to finish my schooling and just try to relax and enjoy my family without being pressured into having more kids. Any suggestions on how I can talk to him about it.
2006-10-26 03:09:49 · 14 answers · asked by ceci_garcia21 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
22 is a bit young for making a such a permanent decision. Maybe 10 years down the road you'll be in a new relationship that you want to add a child to and won't be able to or at least have a hard time after getting it reversed. And, hate to add, if something were to happen to either or both of your children, your options would be limited.
There are really good forms of birth control on the market. I'd check into that first.
Just some things to think about
2006-10-26 03:14:04 · answer #1 · answered by auld mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had several friends who tied there tubes young and now regret it. I advise you to wait and use birth control for now. Tell your fiance you don't want another one now that doesn't have to mean never. I think as women we are expected to forget that we have dreams the minute we become mothers. This is not how it has to be, Women today have to fit being a mom into having a career. If you feel that in order to do both two kids is your limit then explain that to your fiance. It is possible to have the best of both worlds. And I say there is nothing wrong with knowing your limits. Just remember that as we get older ,if we are lucky, we also get wiser. You may oneday change your mind.
2006-10-26 10:35:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are much too young to ty your tubes. You could change your mind or your boyfriend or both. You two need to discuss what kind of life you are going to have togather assuming you plan to marry since you are having his children and called him your fiance. He may not want a working wife for his children but a stay at home mom. Or one who works part time. If you have serious career goals you should be talking about it. Should have discussed this before you started having a family. Now while you are pregnant is not the time to be discussing a 3rd or 4th child anyway. Slow down a little bit. You are young and have many many years to have more children down the road.
2006-10-26 10:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by suzyQ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider an IUD. It can be inserted in a doctor's office about 12 weeks after delivery. I'm not sure how many types are available but there are at least two - one that lasts 5 years and emits a low dose of a hormone and a copper one that lasts 10 years. They are very effective but you will always hear about someone got preg. when they had an IUD. If you change your mind, it can be removed. If you like it and don't want more kids, you can have a new one put in after the first one "expires".
2006-10-27 23:44:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suggest you dont unless you really dont want any more or any kids. My mom got her tubes tied sheis only 30 years old and she has a man but everday she gets depressed because of the stupid idea she felt to get her tubes tied when she was younger and now she wishes she had kids. I have a young UNCLE and he always is saying "___ cant have no more babies" and she cries after she hits him for saying that hes said it many more time before and he knows its wrong. So from me typing it from my point of veiw will help you understand how hard it is. But i am up for anything you should choose just know that ___ is going through drama with her tubes tied
2006-10-26 10:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by Yung Top City Dyme 13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are too young to tie your tubes. Who knows what the future holds. There are so many other birth control options, why not stick to one that is not this permanent. I suggest you just leave the subject alone about any more children. Nobody knows what the future holds and I don't think planning so far into the future is going to help, so just enjoy your children and stop worrying about a third one.
2006-10-26 10:17:46 · answer #6 · answered by south 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 with two kids. My youngest just turned 1 and I had my tubes tied while I was still in the hospital after having her. I REGRET IT TERRIBLY!!! I am no longer with the father. Situations can easily change. There are alternative solutions that aren't so permanent. Have you looked into other forms of birth control?
2006-10-26 12:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by [un]bro/ken 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitley wait. I decided I didnt want anymore either, but now Im 30 and pregnant again. I wanted another baby so much again. Now Im happy I did it. Texas wont tie tubes unless your 25 or over. Happened to my cousin(even though she almost died after having her second baby). So I dont know what other laws states have about that.
2006-10-26 10:18:08 · answer #8 · answered by Blondi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was twenty five when I had my second pregnancy and decided to have my tubes tied. I've never regretted my choice. But I was pregnent with twins.... You really need to talk to him some more and let him know it's not about you not wanting any more of HIS children. It's about not having any MORE children. You deserve to be in control of your body, but he needs to understand your choice. Make or try to make him understand it's about wanting your life back. You are more than a baby making machine.
2006-10-26 12:50:32 · answer #9 · answered by puzzleraspie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a new permnant birth control now, It is avalible through planned parenhood, It is a plastic device they insert into each of your follopian tubes so skin will grow over it. It takes about a month to work. There is no surgury or ctting involved.
2006-10-26 13:46:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jody 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋