My highschool sweetheart found me after 13 years, but there's a problem.?

Question

My highschool sweetheart finally found me after 13 years. He wrote a letter to me and sent it to my parents home, revealing to me that he still loved me. The thing is, he is in prison. He's only there for a year, for counterfeit money production. I was curious and decided to write back, and now I think I'm falling for him all over again. And before you answer, realize that I know I should run for the hills and not look back. But the more we talk, the more I realize that he loves me and he needs some type of structure in his life, whether it's as a friend or girlfriend. I'm not one of these naive women desperate to get a boyfriend or husband. I guess what I need to know is what's the best course of action when it comes to building a relationship with a man who clearly made this one mistake in life. Should I pursue it or should I just be there for him as a friend?

Answer 1

He loves you now because he's in prison and can't really get out very much! :) If he had not been incarcerated, he'd probably never thought of you again.....you're just convenient.

Plus....He's now a convicted felon. His life and future look very dim, and he's probably going to take whoever is around him BACK down with him. My brother in law is a convicted felon....gambling, can you believe it???!!! Anyway, he is a great, intelligent guy....formally, a respected businessman...Now, he can't get a job TO SAVE HIM!!!

The stigma of ex con is something that you really don't want to PUT yourself into. Better think again, Sweetie!

Answer 2

He made a mistake. I would give him a chance. I mean, its not like he killed someone! The only people who got harmed in his crime is the government and himself. True, he will have a hard time getting a job when he gets out and having a felony will make things more difficult but it's not impossible. My husband is a felon for the exact same crime and he found a great job at a small company and makes really good money. It can happen. When it does he just has to be completely responsible and always go the extra mile to keep his job and make sure there's no reason for anyone to look at him cross-eyed. And as far as the relationship goes, his criminal history doesn't make him a liability in love. Hopefully he'll come out of there more determined than ever to be a productive member of society.

Answer 3

This is what you should do. Ask him to tell you everything he has ever done illegal.

Then go get a background check and if he lies about his past run away.

I understand if he made a mistake. But prison is not where people go who make SMALL mistakes. You have to make a BIG mistake to go to prison.

Drinking and driving is a mistake, you don't go to prison.

Stealing small things as a first offence will not get you sent to prison. Maybe jail if it is a moderate crime.

Prison means that you have something wrong with your moral compass. You need to be very sure that you are ok with it. It can affect your life in ways you might not know. What about if you apply for a job and they do a check on your family (which they can do if you have any kind of clearance required for your job). What about him supporting himself when he has to put on the job application that he is a felon?

Just make sure you are looking out for YOU.

Answer 4

wow after 13 years he remembered you.That must be a surprise.mmmmmmmmmmmmm. O.K. Lets assume he loves you, why dint he express all these 13 years.lol.He was busy.Yah very busy.Sounds very strange to me.He was cought for counterfeiting money.........lol........ that itself says he is very smart and very talented in criminal activities.God knows what other talents he has in his bean bag.
He is sitiing in the prison and thinking all the options about what to do when he gets out of prison.He is very smart and knows where to hit the button. LoL... Looks strange and suspicious why he chose you now as a high school sweet heart.He is a perfect oppurtunist and a con artist.Please dont fall for him just because he wrote you a letter ,and it means nothing for him and whereas it means a lot to you.You have lots of other choices than this old high school sweet heart.He may break your heart if you try to fall for him.Support him as a friend.Tell him you have a life and let him know he need to get a life.Make no mistakes with a criminal background.Good luck .

Answer 5

i think you should maybe just be there for him right now. when he gets out, keep in touch with him, maybe even see him. sometimes people see what their missing and what they should have done when they are at their lowest, and lets face it, it doesnt get any lower than prison. if he gets out and you see him making a change and putting forth an effort, by all means give it a chance if you feel comfortable, i think this is one of those things youre gonna have to take one day at a time, and just trust your instincts on this, but at the same time, remember hes not the same person you fell in love with 13 years ago. neither are you. not saying you wont still be compatible, but old dreams and fantasies die hard, as im sure youve realized. i wish you the best and i hope i gave you a new thought or two to chew over.

Answer 6

Follow your heart sister! Be mindful of the facts however and aware as to how you would feel about a long term relationship (friendship or otherwise) with a convicted felon. You also need much more information at this point. Thirteen years is a long time. He could have a wife, girlfriend, partner in crime, other issues, etc. His past could affect your future. Only you know what is best for you. Good luck making good decisions.

Answer 7

Take comfort in the fact that he's not a mad ax murderer, nor did he commit a violent crime, and that's good.
He made 'pretend' money, and while that's not real good, it could be a heck of a lot worse.
You'll have to use your head on this one and weigh all of the pros and cons (no pun intended) of having a relationship with him. He's in on a felony (I think it is anyway), and it could be difficult for him to find a job when he gets out. So ask yourself, would you be willing to support him until he can find a decent job? Does he have any skills? Or is he training for any trade while he's in?
He's not a violent offender and I think I'd take a chance on him, but I wouldn't let my guard down either, just in case he decides to make some more 'pretend' money and get me in trouble as well as himself again.

Answer 8

Your instinct to run for the hills is correct. Men (or women) when trapped in an unpleasant situation tend to look for something to cling to. Clearly, as he relived his past, you jumped into his mind. After 13 years neither one of you are the same person. You have no way of knowing this is his one mistake. Usually a person doesn't get caught and jailed on their first attempt at crime - this is just the one he got caught for.

Unless you want to become the next topic on Jerry Springer - run, run now!

Answer 9

are u serious? The guy is in prison the only reason he wrote to u is cause he had nothing better to do. He doesnt love u at all he is just trying to make up for lost time when he gets out first thing he is gonna do is go to a stripclub and find a wench. Dont bother

Answer 10

The only thing I can suggest to you is to protect your heart and not let past feelings get in the way. You could be an excuse to "look" like he got his life together just to be able to continue his illegal ways.

Hard to let go of the past, but in all reality, once a relationship is over, it should be left in the past. Whatever hurts caused you two to break up before will in fact still be there or you two would still be together having resolved past issues.

Be there as a friend, but anyone dabbling in anything illegal will not change his ways that easily. Just be prepared that you are the excuse to look good, but not be that way in reality.