Help can anyone give me some advice??

Question

My mum and partner work together ,my patner has a higher position then my mum.
Recently my mum is ringing me up and telling me every little thing that my partner is doing wrong or saying about me ,to make things worse the manager is repeating private conversations that my partner and her have had back to my mum.
This is causing a lot of arguments and my partner is starting to dread going to work it feels as though he is been bullied.
It all came to a head today when my mum called and i blew up at her and told her not tpo expect me to speak badly about him she put the phone down on me.
My partner is going to get a new job after christmas as this onbe is way too stressful.
I know this question is a bit long and confusing but any advice would be welcome
thanks:)

Answer 1

baby girl, this is a mistake from your mom. she shouldn't talk about work with you. you can't mix the two together. work life and home life. anything that goes on @ work; stays @ work. same goes for home's problems. @ any time they start to talk about work, you have to shut it out and tell them that it's between you two. and you don't want to know. otherwise, it will stress you out. (i get it did already).

Answer 2

Your mum is way out of order here and her manager is no better - they should both know better and if your partner were to make a complaint at work they would be in serious trouble. Does he like his job and would he be upset to leave it? If the answer is no, then looking for a new job is probably the best course of action. If the answer is yes, he should report your mum and her manager. Next time your mum calls bad-mouthing him, try not to blow up but just tell her you're not prepared to listen and if she doesn't change the subject you're going to hang up. How long have they worked together? If it's been a while and this is just a recent occurrence, something must have happened to start it off. I would question your partner and your mum to find out it this is the case and then see if you can resolve the problem from there. Good luck.

Answer 3

Your mum is meddling, but she may mean well. I would go and talk to your mum face-to-face -- over the phone will work if you're too far away from your mum. Just tell her: "Mum, I know that you mean well but I'm a big girl now. I know that you only want what is best for me and I could learn a lot from the mistakes you've made in your life, but some mistakes I just have to make on my own because that's part of growing up. I really do appreciate your concern and if I have a question or a problem that I can't figure out, you'll be the first person I call for advice." Then tell her that you love her. :)

Answer 4

This sounds like quite a mess and there may be no easy answers. Your mom will forever be part of your life and probably is acting in your best interest, although she must be stressed at that workplace too. Privacy issues are impt.--is your partner protecting your privacy? You may want to have a long talk with your partner about such things and let him know this is causing you stress as well. Keep in mind that your partner may be working there longer than expected as the job market is tight. It may be time for all three of you to sit down and establish boundaries. Good luck

Answer 5

Always a bit tricky when working with family. It will hopefully settle down when your partner gets his new job but it's sad that he has had to and no doubt there will be a little of this upset hanging around in the future whenever there is a family get together. Best not to row with your mum and at the same time give your partner your support. Don.t envy you though being put in that position and being forced to play at "Piggy in the middle"

Answer 6

Your mother maybe saying your partner is doing things wrong but have you asked him .... i wouldn't like my girlfriends mother working in the same place .... potentially mother-in-law not a very good start .... i believe your partner should not have to leave to avoid your mother .... he is running away from the issues rather than resolving them, unless he is actually going for genuine job prospects i think you need talk to your mother without confrontation which i know is easier said than done ... or just don;t get involved and let your mum and partner talk face to face ... you only hear what they want to tell you .... ... how well do you know you mum and your partner ... silly question maybe but forget for this instance your emotional ties and step back and judge the situation from as a individual ! hope this will help .. ialways try be fair reagrdless of ties and realtions with individuals...

Answer 7

First your partner shouldn't be discussing anything personal about y'all on the job to anybody. You should also tell your mother not to make you pick sides between her and your lover, because you can't change anything that happens on the job. Your partner now know that the manager can't be trusted so anything said to him should only be about the job.
P.S: When you say partner it sounds like y'all are two men. If this is so, your mother may not like that you are Gay and may be trying to break up the relationship.

Answer 8

think u need to explain to ur mum, that it doesn't concern you what happens at work.. and the manager is breaching confidentiality between colleagues. dont make it an issue with ur partner, try to re-direct the conversation of work, and work probably seems more stressful to him, because of what ur mum is doing. Ur partner could always confront ur mum, in a proffessional way.

i'm sure ur mum will get over the telephone conversation. she is ur mum afterall..

Answer 9

Stay out of it.
Tell your mum you do not want to hear anything about her work. It is upsetting you and there is nothing you can do to fix it. Tell your partner the same thing.
Then do not ask, or listen anymore.
Let them work it out, it is none of your business. And you are allowing their business to affect you.
Just get up and leave the room or say "Change the subject, please."

Answer 10

He's doing the right thing. He needs to get out of there.
And people in that office need to learn to keep their mouths shut, including your mum.
She's got no business bringing her work home and then telling you about it.
And her manager is in less of a position to chat about what's going on. As a superior they're supposed to know when to keep their mouths shut, or some one could file harassment charges against them.

Answer 11

OK, tell you mother you love her, than call your partner and him you love him, then put them on a three way and tell both of them to get a live than do not speak to either one of them for a week. see what happens . Good luck! Althought still speak to your partner you have to . and maybe to your mom , one only once a day and you speak don't let her .