My granfather passed away last friday and his funeral was yesterday and my three girls went with me of course 8,6,and 4 and now they feel really bad about things but wont talk and when they do its hard to explain to them so if you have any advice on how to talk to them about it let me know please!
2006-10-26 02:53:09 · 11 answers · asked by mom of three 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Set aside a day to just sit and talk about why they loved Grandpa, and maybe make a scrapbook about him, as your doing that explain to the girls that whenever they feel sad they can look at the scrapbook, or perhaps keep a journal.
Mom, you will have to be strong for them and be VERY PATIENT!! they are young and eventually something else will draw thier attention
2006-10-26 03:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by voluptoustaureanfemale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children should know very early on about the cycle of life so there won't be big surprises along the way. That should include discussion about accidents, illnesses and "God's Will," or some variation. The maxim, "Bad things happen to good people" is a fact of life. We adhere to a power higher than ourselves in an effort to understand the Grand Plan. Of course, we never will but it creates a level playing field.
I suggest you use a little tough love here, sit the girls down and explain that sadness over grandpa's passing is a wonderful human emotion, but grandpa wants the girls to get on with achieving today what they are expected to achieve. No more whining or moping or grandpa is going to be so disappointed. Then tell each girl what is expected of them today and send them on their way. No more coddling and sympathy from you or others in the family. That encourages weakness in decision making and it also encourages dependency. Not good.
2006-10-26 04:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this a continual process. My father died last December and at first my two four year olds didn't say much but after a few weeks they began to ask questions and now almost a year later we are still talking about "Papa". Sometime there is new questions and sometimes the same ones over again. I have tried to be honest with them about death. Some of the questions were very thoughtful. I also explained that children don't usually die. But at the family cemetery they saw a grave of a dog and a child, that really set off a whole new set of questions. They accepted that "Papa" is with god and watching over us, this comforted them greatly. Just keep answering questions.
2006-10-26 04:00:20 · answer #3 · answered by dixiedarling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit your children down and explain why their grandfather passed away! Also, give them some time to heal and understand about death and dying! My grandmother passed away back in 1989, and I was only five-years-old when she left this Earth. I was too young to understand it, but as the years went by, I understood how and why she died. Just talk to your children about it, and be very patient.
2006-10-26 04:18:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel, I just lost my only brother. You have to be strong telling them because life is not always easy to explain but it has to be done. Your two oldest will understand better that Grandpa just wasn't going to be here forever. Just let them know that when you get really old it's time to go w/ God and there's nothing you can really do. Let them know that he will always love them and always will be there looking over them from heaven.
2006-10-26 03:07:06 · answer #5 · answered by krazyrenee91606 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Besides the good answers already, there are bereavement groups for young children, just check any local hot line or funeral home or church in your area. They are geared to helping young children deal with the loss that are age appropriate and make it a positive transition. Sorry for your loss.
2006-10-26 03:15:20 · answer #6 · answered by Outside the box 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i lost my grandpa when i was 10 and i still have a hard time with it because no one explained it to me so do wat you think ould be right, all my mom would tell me that hes in a better place i understand now what it means but when i was 10 all i could think about is why him why not me??? i missed him so much i wouldnt eat for a whole month...my mom got worried and took me to the doctor and he said if i didnt eat i would more than likely die from starvation so they shoved food into my mouth so watever u do dont let ur kids starve themselves like that...good luck!!!
2006-10-26 03:08:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a book called "Someday Heaven" that helped my children when we lost my father in law last year. Time is the only thing that will really help. Allow them to talk about him as much as they like and I placed pictures of them with their granddad in their room and in the family room, to remind them he was still with us in our hearts.
2006-10-26 03:42:19 · answer #8 · answered by Stacy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them that Grandpa went to a better place to rest and wait for the rest of you.
2006-10-26 03:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by peckerwud2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try telling them that he's never really gone if we keep him in our thoughts and think of him always, and that everthing happened for a reason and that as much as its tough life goes on and we meet new great people on the way and that your grandfather wouldnt like it if he knew that they are miserable because he died he wouuld've wanted them to be happy all the time....goodluck with that i hope its good enough
2006-10-26 03:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by unis_1990 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋