whats the best way to get over someone you really loved but they lied and cheated on you?

Question

I have been living in with someone (5 years)and really loved her but i have found out she lied about EVERYTHING: money, where she was i suspect she even cheated on me cause she would be very secretive about who she was talking to, where she was. We have since broken up (a month) but i still feel hurt and angry. i need to get over her so i can carry on with my life. whats the best way to do it?

Answer 1

I think the first thing you need to realize is that all she done was her choice. There was nothing you could have done to stop her. So now you are left with the pain. In your heart put her in her place, realize that she didn't want someone who was true and faithful, and may never. Be thankful you didn't marry her OR have children with her. You need to move on. Leave her in your dust as you go. She doesn't deserve you but you deserve someone who is good and will give back to you what they are given. Don't waste a single minute more hurting for her.... Real LIFE is waiting for you.
Good luck and God Bless you

Answer 2

It takes a loooong time to get over someone you loved. You have to have patience. Whatever you do, do not go to a bar and get drunk nor meet other women at the bars. That's a big no no. You don't want to add more problems and stress in your life. You want to ease the pain, not make it worse. So try different things that'll make you feel happy. Have fun with your friends/family. Focus on work/studies. Start a hobby. Try to keep your mind occupied as much as possible. The big icing on the cake is that whenever a thought of her crosses your mind, don't think of the good things about her. Think of all the bad she's done, so you won't go back with her. She seems to be untrustworthy, according to what you said about her. Relationships don't ever last when there's no trust. She should've been honest with you and she wasn't.. So she doesn't make a good partner in a relationship. Once a lier = always a lier. Good luck.

Answer 3

Since you say you broke up with and did not divorce, be thankful you found out about these defects in her character before you went ahead and legally tied the knot and perhaps even had children. That would have made it MUCH worse and more complicated still. Take it as a lesson, and do not have contact with her. Throw yourself into a nondating pursuit; I used to watch certain movies over and over or engage in physical activities like walking and running to a great extent when I had bad ended relationships long ago. Don't rebound date someone else; that's one of the worst things you can do. Allow yourself time and space and focus on other things. Also, keep your eyes open and don't be fooled again. Another chance at happiness with someone will come along; use your experience to temper your impulses, but avoid becoming bitter; that tends to poison relationships.

Answer 4

Man, I know how you feel, but believe me you don't want to be involved with someone you can't trust. You said yourself she lied about everything. A relationship has to have trust. Think about if you had stayed with her and found out down the road that she was lying to you and cheating...that would have been alot worse. You need to jump in there and start dating again. There are plenty of girls out there who would be happy to have an honest guy in their life. Go out with friends and let them fix you up with their friends. I met my wife after getting out of a bad relationship anf my sister introduced me to my present wife and it's the best relationship I've ever had. Don't give up...be glad you're single again.

Answer 5

You will have to (it's not going to be easy, but you have to do it to heal) take her completely out of your life. You also need to replace this void with, not another woman (that's the worst thing you can do while you're getting over her), but find a hobby or a sport that you enjoy and focus on that until the hurt is not so bad any longer. Five years is a long time, but time will heal you as long as you keep her completely out of your life so you can heal.

Answer 6

One of the most common excuses I've heard for people lying and cheating on their loved one is, "I just couldn't help it." I think you can "help it", meaning choosing not to cheat or lie. Sometimes it is harder to choose the right thing to do. Sometimes cheating or lying might seem easier or more fun. Perhaps it is hard to be honest with yourself and really think about why you want to cheat or lie. But I do believe you "can help it" if you really want to, if you really love someone. Real love is about dealing with the hard stuff and choosing to deal with the hard stuff, as much as it is about all the good times.

Answer 7

You recall that she cheated and lied which is a defect in her and not you. Then you remember that your deserve better and you're better off without her. Then you get out of the house and start looking forward to the future rather than staring back at the past.

Answer 8

Time heals all wounds. 1st comes hurt, then anger, and then acceptance. You'll get there. Just keep reminding yourself that this wasn't your fault. Most importantly, don't let this experience carry over into your next relationship. You'll never be happy if your always suspicious of your partner. Remember this was her, not every woman. Good luck and stay strong.

Answer 9

I have been in the same situation, except I was married to the guy. It's a year ago now, and it took me 6 months to be able to go outside not feeling hurt and betrayed.
Just take your time, you will feel better, and you will find love again.
Good luck! :)

Answer 10

Find something else to think about... a new hobby maybe, read a lot of books, work, go out with friends, get a pet, or find a new special someone :)

.. finding a new hobby and going out with friends worked fine for me.