It is very hard for me to ask this question, as it is a source of real pain and remorse. I am very active at my church, and have a loving boyfriend that I will probably get engaged to, and yet I struggle with lust. Sometimes it's fine and not there, but about a few times each month I'll get the notion to lay in bed and think of sexual images, imagine certain scenarios, to the point of reaching some sort of sexual climax, usually by pulsing myself, followed by intense guilt... How can I end this once and for all? I hate myself after these "episodes." Even when I hear God telling me to stop in the middle of it, or whenever, I just ignore it...! I can't bear to tell anyone else about it-- it is too embarrassing and would cause my loved one so much pain... Please help. Why is this happening, and what can I do about it? Please, brothers and sisters-- honest answers. Thanks for your time.
2006-10-26 02:09:58 · 56 answers · asked by reba 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am almost 20 yrs old.
2006-10-26 02:14:59 · update #1
I think that this is normal, and it is unfortunate (for this reason) that nowadays marriage is delayed so long. It is practically impossible to ignore this type of thing, because it is how God made us. The thing is, He planned on us getting married sooner, so you wouldn't have anything to feel guilty about. May I ask how old you are? OK - you're almost 20.
Oh - by the way - the reason this happens a couple times a month is most likely because that is when you have ovulated, thus fertile. God's design is pretty darn good (I must take objection to massive pain during labor and all the other junk we women have to go through - I also don't like gross bodily fluids, either. But whatever - I digress)!!
Since you're still quite young, you probably won't want to get married right now (and your boyfriend may not be ready yet, either). I'm not God, so I don't know what He thinks, but let me offer some practical advice. What do you think would be worse to Him - having premarital sex, or doing your best to deal with this in the way you have been? I really don't want to sound like I'm condoning sin, but I really don't think the Bible addresses this, anyway. There is one very vague reference, and that's it, but that reference may not have been talking about masturbation at all.
Genesis 38:8-10
8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
To me, that sounds like withdrawal (coitus interruptus). So talk it over with God - He already knows every single thing about you, so He knows about this and the guilt you have over it. Just be open with Him, and tell Him your struggles. If you want, ask Him for the strength to put the lustful thoughts from your head. I really hope that this helps you.
2006-10-26 02:14:26 · answer #1 · answered by Iamnotarobot (former believer) 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
That has got to be difficult. It's the confliction that I'd think You need to resolve. So to remain devote You feel the need to supress natural urges that leave you with feelings of guilt. Okay, those urges aren't going to go away, if anything they'll grow with time. Your a Christian Woman and you'd like to deal with this in the way Your educated so why not take a page out of Jesus's book? Jesus was a real cool Cat about this sort of thing, I would think from my studies that Jesus wouldn't mind Your natural way of dealing with sexuality. You've not broken any commandments, nor have You fallen from Grace. In fact by doing what Your doing Your maintaining Your virtue for the time that You and whoever you hook up with are together under the Eyes of the God You believe in. Nothing wrong with that either. Your Human Kid, we all have feelings and urges and Your Jesus and Your God have made allowance for this, so there is no need to try and find a way that Your doing something wrong in the context of christianity. Now maybe Your Mom would get freaked by You doing the solo wild thing but with all due respect Your Mom isn't calling the shots anymore in Your life. Touchy subject (Oh, that's a great pun! Sorry. ), your pretty brave just throwing it out there Kid. The bottom line is it's Your body, Jesus and God want Your Soul; and it sounds like they have that already so enjoy Yourself as you will till You deside what You want to do next. Oh, You may want to pick up some condoms too, just in case Your Boyfriend is thinking the same things You are ( And He is!! For sure! ); LOL; because you never know when it'll hit You both at the same time!!!
2006-10-26 02:41:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all root the very cause of why you always feel that lustful sexual desire. Everything has a main reason and this feeling must have emanated from your lifestyle. What had you been very interested lately? You should refrain from reading or watching anything that can make your mind lustful. All is actually from our mind. If you let your mind think that it feels good then your body follows. Satan allows you to feel like this so that you will continue doing it. Until you get out of control and be totally obsessed. It's really important to think about how God watches you day and night including what your heart feels and how you run your life. If you really can't resist it, then pray hard not to be tempted. Let the Holy Spirit control your life and you will see promising changes in your life.
2016-05-21 22:00:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever said something during an argument, that
made it ten times worse. And you asked yourself, "Why did
I say that?"
There are spiritual entities that try and influence us. Many
"evil" spirits are just lost souls, who haven't passed over
for one reason or another.
Did you know drug induced "blackouts" are a temporary
possession by a lost soul who is trying to "get off" on the
persons buzz? They can also influence us with sexual
or other lusts. As lust is not just sex, but the senses wanting
to be stimulated.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out why loose sex is
wrong. Look at the diseases, abortions, broken homes. But do
we consider the psychological aspect of falling deeply
in love after making love with someone. And then maybe
the relationship fails. One may never be able to trust or
love again.
Sex is not just a physical act. It is a spiritual act as well. We
are helping our Creator to create LIFE! And if
one creates a spirtual bond with someone and then doesn't
live up to that bond. It wil create something on a spiritual
level that will have to be atoned for later.
I heard that they raised the legal age for adulthood during the
deppresion to keep young men from getting jobs, since there were few jobs at the time.
Too bad we don't have the wisdom of the ancients.
Who allowed the young to marry when their sexual urges kicked in, and the only sex they had was within a loving marriage.
2006-10-26 02:32:23 · answer #4 · answered by zenbuddhamaster 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rebekah
I'm almost sure that this will fall on deaf ears but I will try anyway.
The problem here is not that you have a normal healthy interest in sexuality. The problem is that you have been taught to think of it as something that is bad. The guilt is the part that is not normal. This guilt is the product of a religious thought system that amounts to little more than a lie about God.
If God had not intended for sex to be pleasurable He would have simply made it impossible. Obviously He did not do this.
This nonsense that you have been taught about sex and about God are just lies. No more, no less. These ideas come from a silly roman catholic idea that Sex is dirty, something to be avoided as much as possible.
When the other branches of Christianity broke away from the catholic church most of them held on to this ridiculous idea about sex.
God is not some pervert dangling things that you have difficulty controlling in front of you in the hope that you will slip up and end up going to hell.
God loves you more than you could ever imagine. God created certain aspects of life simply as gifts. Sex is one of those things. Sex with your self is possible simply because God loved you enough to want you to have something you could do just to be nice to your self. This is all that is happening here. You are doing something nice for your self. Something that God made it possible for you to do.
Ignore the nonsensical guilt inducing illogical teachings of any so-called faith that tries to make Gods gifts into something dirty that we should be ashamed of.
You are a perfectly normal healthy young woman. There is nothing at all wrong with what you are doing. The only thing I would suggest you change is the so- called faith that tries to make you see Gods gifts to us as something to be ashamed of.
Don't let these people tell you lies about your loving creator.
Love and blessings Don
2006-10-26 02:35:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do about this. It is a natural feeling like love, hate, compassion etc. When you are feeling these feelings and you want to take care of business as it were do so with an empty mind. Don't think of your boy friend or the neighbor down the street. Do your thing with an empty mind. The lust part comes in when you are actively thinking about the act with someone else. You are lusting after that person. Enjoy the feeling bring yourself to climax but do it without lustful thoughts of another person. Trust me if your only doing it a few times a month it should not be hard to relieve yourself without having to think of anything. Peace to you.
2006-10-26 02:21:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
They're called hormones, honey. They're completely natural, and you could even say that they're god blessed. After all, horniness leads to sex which leads to procreation.....
I strongly suggest that you break free of a religion that is causing you to feel so badly about your normal bodily functions. Masturbation is NOT an evil or sinful act. You're better off having sex with your boyfriend, but whatever.
But I don't suppose you're going to listen to reason. You may be too far gone.
Frankly, I see no way for you to sublimate your desires in a HEALTHY way. Repression is no cure for anything. All that'll happen is that your suppressed desires will find another opening, and perhaps a worse one. Think of the priests or monks who used to practice self-flagellation. MUCH healthier, wasn't that?
Hmmm, fasting. Yeah, I suppose that could work. Starvation would probably kill any desire you might feel. But then again, you know those starving kids from Africa or wherever? I imagine their parents were starving too, and yet they still managed to have babies......
2006-10-26 02:23:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
dear sister, I fully sympathize with you as I too have this problem, and like you I am in constant battle with it.
firstly we have to make a determined effort to turn away from this and keep this determination even when we lapse again, for surely God loves a trier,and will come to our aid at the given time,meanwhile he sees our pitiful struggle and knows our efforts.
lust is a very powerful emotion and we wont defeat it by ourselves, try not to place yourself in its power by staying in bed, get up right away and direct your mind to other things about the house.
and also try to distract yourself when sexual thoughts and images come to you, go for a walk, visit a prayerful place, or whatever it takes.
finally do not listen to the spirit of this world whom the lord has overcome and condemned when he says you are doing nothing wrong or just enjoy yourself, the lying spirit will try this often, and take some consolation in the fact that you have the grace to see this as wrong while others would not.
please be at peace in the lord and ask for his help every day.
I am finding that the spirit of lust is weakening as i persevere in the lord.
God bless you,and dont lose heart.
2006-10-26 02:34:45 · answer #8 · answered by Sentinel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean, I had the same problem for awhile. I am pretty sure I am over it. I would be overcome with lust to the point where I would get myself off. However, everytime immediately afterword I would feel the same guilt telling me how wrong what I was doing was. There are several scriptures that state that sexual sins are some of the worse sins. There is a scripture that states "the spirit of God will not always contend with man". That one truly scared me. Everytime I was overcome and acted on it, I wouldn't be able to feel the spirit afterword. And I would repent but no matter what I tried, prayer, little sayings... none of it every worked for long. The thing that finally helped me was 2 fold. First, whenever I was in a situation where I would be led to impure thoughts, movies, ect., I would stop watching and make sure I was thinking pure thoughts. Second, I continued to tell myself I was a child of God and that I have to remain worthy. It takes time but eventually it develops into habit, avoiding pitfalls that can lead to sexual sin. Pray often, and try with all your heart to resist. Th eApostle Paul said, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you be tempted above what ye are able; but will with temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." Be at peace sister, and try your best. Cleave to the lord and cry unto him in all your doings.
2006-10-26 02:20:45 · answer #9 · answered by freeze_guy_2001 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
When you are starting to entertain the thought of sin you must rebuke satan for putting the opportunity in front of you. Satan cannot read your thoughts only your actions, when you are tempted you must verbally out loud rebuke satan, don't let it go to the point that he has to wait to read your actions. I know it sound silly. When a sinful thought enters your mind stop it right off the bat, direct that energy into something else, phone a friend, turn on a christian music station or play a christian cd. Even picking up the bible and reading something that gives you personally strength to overcome temptation. Just direct your mind to something else that will keep your attention until the coast is clear.
2006-10-26 16:18:45 · answer #10 · answered by Saul P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋