i wanna be a mom soon. i really dont have one so thats why i wanna be one so i can be a good mommy the best?

Question

i love kidz im 16 and a half and i wanna be a mom right now because. i dont have one and im struggling so the best way it seems to deal with it is be a good mommy to my child :]

Answer 1

Okay, reality check.

Until you stop spelling words the wrong way on purpose, you are not ready to be a mom. Being a mom is a hard, hard job, not something to go into lightly. It's not something you do because you want your mom. That won't get you your mom - it will get you a really hard life. You're talking about bringing a whole 'nother PERSON into the world. A person who will need you to teach them how to speak, how to walk, how to eat, how to clothe themself, how to use a toilet, how to do EVERYTHING - and you're 16 years old. What can you offer a child? Yeah, you love kids - so? I love kids, I'm not ready for children. I want to have a stable job that pays enough that I can afford to pay for daycare while I'm working, if I have to work. I would prefer to be married to a man I love with all of my heart, a man with a steady job that pays enough that we can afford to pay the bills and let me stay home and raise the kids.

When I was 16, I thought I wanted to be a mom. I almost became one, and while I thought I was pregnant, I realized that I wasn't ready, that I was terrified, and that my child was going to miss out on a lot because I was too young to be a good mother. I know it happens, and that there are some success stories, but no one in high school should become a mother. It's too hard, at that age. You want to go out and have fun and play, not be waddling around running to the bathroom every ten minutes because your bladder is so pressurized by the baby. You don't want to be struggling to pass your classes your senior year, when you've had really good grades all through high school, because you've got school, some form of job, a baby, and chores to take care of at home on top of all that, and you can't skip any of it, because you'll get in trouble - so the grades slip. That's what happened to a friend of mine. She's 17 and has a 16-month-old daughter. She does her chores, she takes care of her daughter, she tries to go to work (she had to quit her job recently because she couldn't handle it), and she never has time to do her homework and is perpetually asleep in classes.

Being a mother is a difficult, sometimes thankless, job. It is not something to be taken lightly.

The fact that you are asking this leads me to believe you'd just like some attention of the motherly sort, because you don't have a mother around to give you that attention.

In all honesty, though - this is one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard of, to have a baby because you are struggling with not having a mom. Don't do it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Really. You will. You may love your child, and not regret a moment of that child's life, but you will regret the decision.

I mean, have you even thought about college? Or marriage? Or buying a house or a car? Do you know how hard those things are without having a kid? I'm 19 years old, and I live in a 20 foot by 11 foot room in a basement (220 square feet - whereas a studio apartment in an apartment complex is about 700 square feet, on average), which I pay $400 a month for. I am seasonal help at Macy's. I desperately want to go to college, but all my time is devoted to my job and keeping my apartment clean, and I have no money, so I can't do that. I don't have my driver's license. I don't have a car. I can't afford a car. I can't afford to live in a regular apartment right now. I can't buy a house. I can't go out and do things because I can't even afford to buy groceries on what I make - all my money goes to rent. Just imagine what life would be like if I had a child.

Do you want that life for you?

Answer 2

Please wait to have a child! You are only 16, you are still a child yourself!! I had my first child at 19, so I was done with school, lived on my own, and had a job, and it was still very hard!!! I know how you feel, though, my mother took off when I was only 8 years old. It is terribly hard to grow up without a mother, especially when you are a girl. My dad was great, but sometimes there were "girl things" that he just didn't understand. But, trust me, having a child is not the answer!! You would have no way to support the baby and you may not be able to finish your education, so what kind of life could you give your child? With no money, no education, and possibly no father? Then your child would grow up sad, because they had no father. So, you would be putting your child in the same situation as you are in. Trust me, a child will not solve your problem, it will cause more problems. I have 3 kids and am married and it is still hard, it is not an easy job at all, and I am almost 30 years old, so I cannot imagine doing this at 16! Grow up first, get your education, do something with your life that you can be proud of. Then someday when you are an adult and the time is right, then have a child. Then you will be able to support your child and you will be a great mother. I actually think that not having my mom around made me be a better mother to my kids. I spent a lot of time as a kid thinking about what I would do with my mom if she was there and what kind of things that I thought a mother would do for me, if I had one. So, I think I have a greater insight on what a child wants from their mother, which helps me to be a great mom to my kids. I give them all the things that I wished I had had when I as little. So, just hang in there, things will get better. If you are sad about your mother, try talking to someone, like a school counselor or a trusted teacher. I also found that I could talk to my grandmother about girl things, so if you have a grandma around, talk to her about it, she is a mom too, she can help. Hang in there, don't throw away your childhood, you will be an adult soon enough and then you'll be wishing you were 16 again!! Good luck to you!!!

Answer 3

u want a child at 16? how is a baby going to care for a baby? If u love kids that much u would wait and give your child a better life. U need to be in school first. Once u hit 18 it is your choice because u are an adult but right now u are not capable of handling a child,u prob cant even take care of yourself. Do u really think if u have a baby at 16 the father will be around? I dont think so, and raising your child without a father figure is hard to do, especially hard on the baby. U will be tired,getting only 2 hours of sleep at night,u will be spending a lot of money on your baby. try diapers,wipes,clothes,crib,medicine,toys,shoes,food and much more. Babies are not cheap. So that means u would have to get a job and pay for a nanny. U could never afford it. People do not pay 16 yr olds much at all, not enough to raise a kid. That baby would grow up without anything, do u want that? How about u tell your parents u want a baby....Its ur choice but just watch u are gonna have it bad, no ones gonna wanna hang out with you anymore, and people are going to laugh at you. go ahead ruin your life as a teen...

Answer 4

There is no doubt that you will make a good mommy, when the time is right. You will definitely have an appreciation for the task at hand. But being a mother is no substitute or healing aid for not having a mother. Sounds like you need a bit of inner growth and healing, not to mention quite a bit of maturity and stability to have a child.
Let yourself mature some and develop a stable home life of your own (not under the responsibility of your guardian). Experience a little of what life has to offer, then have a baby. The more experiences you can share with your child the better parent you will be.

Answer 5

Why would you want to be a mom now when you just said you were STRUGGLING? Does that make any sense? And WHY would you want to bring an innocent child into a situation like that anyway?

A baby/child is not a possession to make you feel better, nor are they something that you just have to block out your other problems. You really need to focus on growing up first and getting your life and things into perspective. You want a child for all the WRONG reasons besides the fact that you love kids.

Answer 6

Im sorry to say this SADENED but i agree wth everyone else here. a child is a 24 hour 7 das a week job. You just cant give the child to someone when you have had enough. I was 17 when i got pregnant and 18 and a half when i had him! i love him to bits dont get me wrong but ive never had a life! im lucky that my DP works in a pub so i can go out every 2 weks when my son is looked after by my parents but seriously hun thinks really hard about this. Why not look into baby sitting as a part time job? it gives you something to do ad your around kids and when you have had enough you know that they wil be going home soon. Ive got nothing against young teenage mums as i was kinda one myself but to have a baby for this reason
"i wanna be a mom soon. i really dont have one so thats why i wanna be one so i can be a good mommy the best? ".. Also children are very expensive! in austrlia its costs us about 1 million dollars to raise a baby from pregnancy ( pram,cot,car seat etc.) to the age of 18 and that includes schooling.

Just please think about it before you decide what to do hun. Its a life time commitment and we dont want to see you waste your life by having a baby! your still young you stil have time for babies and everything like that. Go out have fun and enjoy life!

also another thing is you dont want to lok back in say 5 years and go Oh My God y did i hae a chid to that guy??? he doesnt help me with nothing doesnt pay for anything etc.
You will find someone that will help you with everything including looking after kids. So please hun think about it first before u do anything

Answer 7

I honestly don't believe that becoming a young mother is the solution to you not having one. Get an education and live your life before even thinking about having children. You have such a long life ahead of you and I think it would be better if you waited to have children rather than just rushing into it now.

P.S. Do you know how you would support your child? What would your parents think? Are you willing to sacrifice sleep, money and time to raise your child? These are all things you must consider before having a baby. It's a big responsibility.

Answer 8

It seems like you have a lot of love to give, but you are obviously too young and too immature (judging by your other posts). Maybe you should just get a job at a child care center. That way, you will be able to fulfill your desire of being around children who need attention, and will learn some responsibility to prepare you for having a child....in the future....when you are really ready.

Oh - and stop ditching your classes. That does not set a good example for your future unborn child!

Answer 9

hahaaha..you are in for the biggest nastiest surprise of your life. Do you know how hard it is to be a single mom? Do you want to be poor and overworked? How will you get a good paying job, how will you be able to give your child the attention it deserves if you are to busy working to support it financially to even pay attention to it emotioinally? IT is a HARD road, and you can have a child when you are prepared to have one cant you? What is the rush? You will be able to have everything you desire in a few years anywyas? WHy not finish school and make sure you can provide a good life for your baby first!

Answer 10

You need to wait until you get older where you have a decent job and can support the baby financially. It is pretty selfish to get pregnant as a teenager as you are still in school and have to rely on other people to support you and that isn't fair to the baby either. So wait a little longer and then when you are making a good living, go right ahead and plan on having a family.