Help this is hurting?

Question

me and my gf had a baby boy 6yrs ago his name is peyton purdy. he took her last name because when she delivered the baby my gf's mom said he would not take my last name until we got married. well now we are getting married and my gf wants to keep peyton's last name purdy. i checked with a aty and she told me that if my gf (april) was to die then peyton wld go to his grand father & grandmother (april's mom &dad) . my name is not on the birth cirt. i need his name changed so if she isn't willing to change should i get married.
p.s. I provide for my son i pay the bills & care for my son very much and I believe peyton should carry on my name .

Answer 1

you're setting yourself up for a life of regret. you're getting married for all the wrong reasons... peyton's custody is likely to go to your gf (until he's at least seven). the surname is completely irrelevant...

Answer 2

O.K. So you are his father. Why is you name not on the birth certificate? You could of been listed as his father even though Peyton would have her last name.

As I answered yesterday his name dose not matter, but since you are not listed as the father, you should now sue for paternity, which means you will need to take a paternity test & so will the six year old. If you are the boy's father then you will get you name on the birth certificate by the court, & he will be your child.

You need to file for paternity. Why were you paying for this kid if you didn't at least have your name on the bc as his father?

Answer 3

This is a difficult situation. If April really loves you and cares about you, she would consider getting his name changed. He is your child, and you take care of him. It is so many children out there who carry names of men who don't know them, don't wanna know them, and won't ever know them. She should realize what a decent, stand-up guy you are. Have you considered that if she doesn't agree to the name change that you can possibly hyphenate his name with your last name once you are married? I know, its not that same. Why isn't your name on the birth certificate anyway? If you guys have such a big issue facing you right now, maybe you should take a step back and examine if you guys should still be getting married.

Answer 4

There is no reason why your son cant have both hers and your last name. In fact that is VERY common. Especially if your getting married. She will have your last name and the child will be the only one without????
As far as losing your child if something happened to the mother,well that's just not true. Its call DNA and you would be able to have your child with you if proven to be the father. Yes you should marry just get all the fine print handled 1st. You dont need to be newlyweds and arguing over this. It could ruin a new marriage. Good luck!!

Answer 5

you should have looked into that when she gave birth to him, in the state I live in no matter if the mother and father claim the child, if they are unmarried, the father has to file for paternity (I am not sure what that all entails) now that the child's name is hers and has been established for the last 6 years, there is nothing short of taking it to the courts to change his name. You have to have her agree to this, or it will be a huge problem. Your best bet is to agree on something or this will eat away at your relationship and become a thorn in your side forever. One of you needs to bend and if you cannot, then your marriage is already in trouble

Answer 6

I don't understand why you are not on the birth certificate as the father. My daughter's father and I were not married either but his name is still on the certificate, and she still has my last name. I think that they did that purposely. I also don't understand why her parents have any say in what happens to your child. I think that you need to talk to her away from her parents. Tell her she needs to cut the umbilical cord. This is your child too. If this child is biologically yours there is no reason why the court wouldn't change the certificate to have your name put on it. You have just as much right to make any decisions for this child as she does. NOT her parents.

Answer 7

Run to your court house and demand for a DNA done on the baby. The court will do this for you. They contact Mom and have child support payments set up, but NO don't get married. Once paternity is established, your name will go on the birth certificate. Makes me wonder why the attorney didn't tell you that....hmmmm

Answer 8

I agree that he should have your name. My twins were born before their dad and I got married. As soon as we were married, I changed their last name to his. Find out what her reason is for not wanting to change it. I hate to say this, but if she were fully committed to being your wife, she would change the baby's name. Will she be taking your last name when you get married? If she has a good reason for not changing the baby's name, there will need to be a will, stating that you will get custody upon her death. I hope this helps. I feel for you, and I wish you the best.

Answer 9

I would marry her and just make sure that there is somewhere in her will (if she has one) that you are the legal guardian of the child. If not, go to court with her and see if you can get legal custody of the child in case of death. I wouldn't let this issue cause too much tension between you two. I'm sure there's a way of getting custody if you can prove you're a good father.

Answer 10

First stop letting your girlfriends Mom tell you what to do. This is your son, and you have more rights then she does when it comes to that baby because you are the father. I believe if you get a family attorney they can help you with the name change. I think it is worth it to you and your son to do this.