I had been living with my boyfriend for just under a year have had a few problems but i sincerely love him.
I told him a week ago i was pregnant, he reacted badly but seemed to come round and was his usual self.
Then a few days ago he phoned me and said not to bother coming home because he had changed the locks.
He now refuses to speak to me won't comment on the baby.
I'm about 2 months.
I don't know if he will want to be involved at all
Please help
2006-10-26 00:22:14 · 18 answers · asked by Philippa A 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Thanks for all the replies so far.
Just a few answers we where just using withdrawal and he had previously said he would be 'over the moon' to have a baby.
He seems to have developed some alcohol problem which has changed him.
I have tried contacting his parents but they aren't responding.
I don't honestly believe he would think it wasn't his
2006-10-26 00:39:58 · update #1
If he changed the lock, and said not to come home. I would'nt want him any way. Don't let him treat you this way, and then try to get you back. If he wanted you or the baby he would'nt of done this. But your baby is worth it all. Go on with your life, and your babies life. If you get with some one else, make sure he accepts you and your baby. There really is good guys out there. Just make sure he loves both of you. Take your time. The guy that got you pregnant doesn't deserve you or your baby. Drinking has nothing to do with it, and if he is drinking you don't need that on top of being pregnant. God bless, and take care.
2006-10-26 01:03:57 · answer #1 · answered by CHEROKEE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definetely his loss. Like was said before, it will be hard, especially being pregnant, but move on and Im not saying move on with someone else, just move on away from this guy. After the baby is born, make sure you get a DNA test and take this guy to court for child support, he may not see the baby or even want anything to do with it, but he should at least help with the money situation for it. Sounds like he isn't ready for a baby at all, which is too bad cause he should have been thinking about that beforehand. Good luck dear, and I do so hope that things work out in a positive light for you.
2006-10-26 07:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
plz don't stress your self cause that's not good for the baby. Don't try to make somebody come around that don't want to. Get a lawyer and request a DNA test and get him for child support and move on. You may end up meeting someone who will take your child in a there own. Seriously you see how he's acting now and your not even 5 months, I wonder how he's gonna act when the baby gets here some thing we a to chuck it has a lost and this may be that thing for you. Would you really want someone like that in your childs life so he could be sometimey with him/her. I think not. It may be hard because your pregnant and emotions may start to run wild but I think you can do it and be strong. Good luck I hope you have a healthy little one or ones :-)
2006-10-26 07:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by WannaKnow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my first son was just like your situation and it took 10 years before he got involved in his sons life. I did fine without my ex and my son loves me for it. I was also lucky because I grew up with a close and loving family. My dad was old fashion and dis=owned me until my son was born. My son was my dads best little buddy and became the father figure. So if your boyfriend doesn't come around, so what. You will be fine. If his parents don't respond now, get your dna test by child support and they will realize whzt kind of son they have. If they are true grandparents they will come around. Send them pictures after you have the baby. But don't worry about the ex, he may come when you deliver. Do you really want him back since he ditches you at the most important part of your life? Later you will find a real man.
2006-10-26 07:59:36 · answer #4 · answered by ezanjill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that... Could it be he doesn't think it's his? Why else would he change the locks, etc? Unless he's that immature and won't accept his responsibility. I hope it's the first thing, and it's all a miss understanding.
However, you can't sit around wondering what went wrong. Take care of yourself and your future baby, and don't wait around for his help or involvement. If you want, continue sending him information concerning your pregnancy, as to not feel guilty you shut him out. (I know this sounds unfair, but hey, there's an innocent life involved here as well.) He will either grow up and come around, or not.........either way, you'll have moved on, and will have a clear conscious.
2006-10-26 07:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Swou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to move on. Make a better life for you & the baby. Especially if he has developed an alcohol problem. Trust me, you don't want your baby growing up in this type of environment. It's not good at all!! Do you have parents or any friends that can help you get out of this situation? Alcohol makes people do & say things they wouldn't normally do & once they are addicted, it's hard to get them to stop. I'm telling you, just move on & stop letting him treat you like crap!
Good luck!
2006-10-26 08:26:48 · answer #6 · answered by beachbum26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he think that you deliberately let yourself get pregnant? It takes two to make a baby. I think that you need to talk to someone fast about your situation. He seems very selfish to me, and you said that you were all ready having problems. Do you think that staying together would work? Having a baby would not save a relationship that is already in trouble. If you decide to keep the child it will be a struggle but I believe that you will be able to do it. If he does'nt want anything to do with the baby, then it would be his loss, a very big loss.
2006-10-26 07:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by scary mary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being pregnant means that now you are responsible for another life. That little person deserves you to be your very best. What do you think you should do? What would you want your mother to do if it was you being born into the atmosphere you have created? You have to change your perspective on life now. Baby first, then all else. It was your choice when you convieved. Get some good help to do what you believe is best.
2006-10-26 07:29:10 · answer #8 · answered by folklore 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes they are just scared and come around later on BUT it doesnt always happen that way hes not a very nice guy if he throws you out while your pregnant prepare yourself to raise your baby by yourself just in case he doesnt change his mind you will be prepared but maybe when you have the baby and he sees it he will realize what a jerk he was being I know its easy for people to say just forget him and move on but trust me i know its easier said then done Im sure in your heart you want him there to experience this time with you and be happy and excited with you but it doesnt always go that way just stay strong and do the best you can~~~best of luck to you!
2006-10-26 09:23:34 · answer #9 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are alot of Guy's like your boyfriend we call them deadbeat dads! Just make sure you contact child support as soon as you can and raid his paycheck for the rest of his life! My wife thinks that the men should have all the kids in the world that way she figures there would be alot less sex in the world good luck! P.S.. my wife also says that all men are born with a brain and a penis, unfortunately they only have enough blood to use one of them at a time
2006-10-26 07:32:44 · answer #10 · answered by Lots of money but no sense 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋