His ex wife..i am right to be upset?

Question

Please help me to understand, at the moment i am very upset, the exwife of the man who i love, has lost her mother, and he is going to stay in her house with her for few weeks because she can't cope on her own she is very sad and depress, i am not a bad person but this situation is very difficul for me to acept.
What is your opinion? thank you so much

Answer 1

It is always a sad situation when someone loses a loved one. The fact that your man is able to show a compassionate side to an ex is rare. If he is this considerate to someone of the past, he must be extra-super-special to you, huh? Soooooo......... take off your "blind to what's about to happen cap", straighten up that backbone and position yourself standing right beside that man of yours!! Don't you EVEN let him spend one night in her home helping her to cope. The only place he needs to be is at the funeral home lending genuine words of sympathy. If you allow him to spend time in her home, HE will be the one there for her when she starts coming around to accepting her loss. HE will be the one she feels connected to when it's all said and done. HE will be the one she turns to for whatever misfortune she faces next. Do you really want a phone call at 3 am when she's distraught?? Oh, wait a minute, I may have skipped too far ahead--I forgot to play for you the scenerio of her crying, him comforting her, them looking at each other as they haven't in so long...........the string of snot that's holding them together as their lips pull apart. See where I'm going with this??

Stand aside while he shows his genuine side. Let him tell her in words or a simple gesture how sorry he is for her loss. Not every man does something like that. But if this is the man you want to keep for yourself, make your feelings known that any overnights or overt acts of compassion are not going to be tolerated.

Good Luck!!

Answer 2

I can see why you feel that way and you have every right to feel that way but bringing it up at this time would be difficult and could make it worse. You need to decide why you're upset - do you think that he'd cheat on you or are you just jealous of their closeness.
Also do you think she wants him back? Or is he just the only person she could turn to?
Maybe you could join them and talk to her - not necessarily about your feelings but just get to know her. I f she's going to be a part of your life then perhaps you should try to make her less like his exwife and more like a friend of both of yours.
If later on you think that she does want him back bring it up with him but leave it alone for the moment, her mother's just died and they are both probably upset and bring it up at the moment would only drive him away.

Answer 3

There is no way in hell that my man would be staying at his ex's house under any circumstances. That is why she is an ex and she needs to learn to deal with her own issues. I would throw a big ole hissy over this one. Taking care of her is not his job anymore and if he doesn't know that, then you might want to run. Sounds like he is still attached or she has control over him. You need to break that now, before it gets worse. This is only going to cause problems in the long run. Good luck.

Answer 4

This man has no right to go stay with his ex wife. Especially not if you two are now married. If you cant go too then i would say something is up . It should be enough for her to call him and talk a few times . Unless she has no family left on earth , then this is not even close to his place.

Answer 5

For a few weeks? I would understand a couple of days but weeks is too much. Not many things I would do.
A) I would think that this is the best opportunity to get rid of him
B) Move in with them. Sounds fun.
C) I would ask him to think about me but if he wanted to go what can one do? Tie him? I would wait for him to come back if I felt like waiting. If he missed me, he would come back if not I'd move on.

Answer 6

Your question doesn't say if your married, dating,living together etc etc. Anyway here is how I'd feel and what I'd do.
Ask him it would Be ''OK'' for your ex to come stay with you while he is off comforting her.
Sounds to me like she has him under her thumb and when she calls,he goes running.Its nice to be friends and get along with the ex, but that's a bit too intimate for comfort.
I'd ask him to rethink his decision and to consider your feelings and if he goes anyway I would have to step back and do some serious thinking of my own.It would be hard for me to invest my love in a relationship that consist him,me and an ex on speed dial.

Answer 7

I'm sure she has friends she could lean on. I think it's kinda weird that he is going to stay with her. You have every right to be upset, I would be also. Did you tell him how you feel about it, and that you don't like it at all? Maybe you need to sit him down and have a little chat with him. Good Luck

Answer 8

Listen , he want to support her and help her in difficult moment in her life . But it doesn't mean that you must recede , this is just little time out.You can spend more time with her , cause you love her and maybe she needs your support too , but you mustn't be rude with her ex , you also mustn't speak with her about her last life with her ex , only one thing that you must to do is be near her ,with her , don't think about her ex , be fatalist!
You're not ugly man at all , just go to her , your conversations with her mustn't be about this man , just do everything she needs , sometimes this is more than just words.
Be sure about yourself , and after this she'll respect you and this is very important to people which are in love! :)

Answer 9

Let them stay together in the bedroom and you stay in a different room of the same house, After a couple of days both of them will throw you out.

Answer 10

I could understand why you are upset. The person to comfort her should her siblings or relatives. What does an ex have to do with all that? Why couldn't you go too then??