My daughter who is 10 stayed interstate with her grandmother (x mother in law). Her grandmother bought her padded, uplifting bras and took her to see a movie rated for over 15 year olds. My x mother in law knows that I would not approve of this, but still did it. I feel like she has done this just to spite me, but I don't know how I should deal with it and prevent her for doing similar things in the future. I, myself find it quite disturbing that anyone would buy a padded, push up bra for a 10 year old child who is in the 5th grade. I see this as sexualising a child. What should I do?
2006-10-25 23:14:19 · 11 answers · asked by Lydjos 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
straight forward tell her you did not approve of the bra and the movie. Tell her even if you dont fully mean it that you want your daughter to keep seeing her regularly but if that kind of behavior is going to happen the visitations will be severly limited and you are doing this for the safety of your daughter. Give her back the bra since youre daughter will not be wearing and tell her why you are giving it back, tell her she can return it and put the money away to do somethig with the grandaughter next time she sees her. stay polit now but get your point accross.
2006-10-25 23:28:37 · answer #1 · answered by mnm4213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously... if u are not able to take the child back. at least when u meet your daughter.. tell her or explain to her that why she need to know things like padded bras .. these are the things u shld take note of... like padded bras.. u can make her understand in a fashion or self confidence point of view that it is to help u look better and make u feel confidence.. rather to let her think that it is about seducing or trying to be sexy.. kids nowadays grow up fast and learn fast.. as long as u are in control of their learnings..u can teach them to see things from the other side point of view and not the sex part.... instil in them some interest on other things so that they will not spend so much time think about sex or love or being in a relationship... u can take her out for some fun outings and then slowly explain to her the love and sex part..dun sounded as though sex is bad or taboo.. instead tell her it is a natural process and it is something in our hormones so when the time come.. she will get to know and understand it... and so at the same time... cultured her interest so that she will not have time to think so much of sex part... hope this helps.....
2006-10-26 06:25:08 · answer #2 · answered by veramira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would contact the x mother in law and explain that what she did was unacceptable for your child as it interferes with the way you are bringing up your daughter, if she goes against your wishes again I would consider not letting her see your daughter anymore, but explain this all as best possible to your daughter so she understands whats going on and find out how she feels.
2006-10-26 06:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by Spastikus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that was my daughter the Grandmother would not be seeing the child again.
2006-10-26 06:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by MUSHMAN 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your ex mother in law, but nicely. at the end of the day, she didn't murder anyone. just explain to your daughter why she doesn't need the bras yet.
2006-10-26 06:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by purple_butterflyuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call and attorney and see if there is anything that you can do to keep this from happening again. It sounds like this woman has no morals whatsoever and that you would like to raise your daughter with morals. Lots of times they wont charge you for a quick phone call.
2006-10-26 06:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by Mary N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shpuld speak with your ex-MIL and tell her exactly how you feel. I would ask her why she feels like it is so important to make your daughters boobs bigger and take her to "big kid" movies. That is very innappropriate. It sounds to me like she is trying to win your daughter over with the cool granny facade. You should also talk to your daughter about the situation.
2006-10-26 06:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you displeased with the situation ? you must let i known to the appropriate person
tell her in a very calm discussion ,makes sure she understands you and that you will not allow this sort of behavior from them with your daughter !
you are the mother ! and you decice what is good for your daughter !
2006-10-26 06:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by HJW 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any thing you do will make you out to be the bad guy. Tread softly with this situation even though your mom you could still create hard feelings.
2006-10-26 06:17:11 · answer #9 · answered by Captain Comment 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take the child back home
2006-10-26 06:17:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋