I am a married working woman with a son. I love my husband but is fed up of rude behaviour, taunts. Other wise he is ok. Off late I had wrote a sms of love and leaving and stored it in the drafts folder but did not sent it to anybody, because I dont have anybody. I love my husband only.I have tried to convince him but he doesnt understand. Now, he wants me to leave my job and be entirely dependent on him. But, if I leave my job and become dependent on him then I would be committing the biggest blunder of life because I know my husband better.
2006-10-25 22:28:41 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If I were you I wouldnt leave my job but i also wouldnt leave my husband either. You got to some how open the lines of communication and find the reason he is doing this. There is an underlying problem somewhere that needs to be brought out into the open and taken care of
2006-10-25 22:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are? how long have you been married, how long have you been on the job and what type of Bennie's do they have. One item over the other, what's the benefit of working?
Are you just "getting out of the house" or do you really need this job. Your not trying to prove a point?
Some husbands use this for a "control" a you owe me sort of thing. You can't live without me.
You'll have to balance this all out for yourself and decide what the consequences would be to change your lifestyle.
Try and show him what the extra money would mean, saving for a new house, a vehicle, extra clothing, things like this that would help your motives. Putting extra cash in the bank would help.
If he still cannot see your meaning then your going to either bend under him or decide if it's worth going on without him. I would suggest counseling for both of you.
2006-10-26 05:41:07 · answer #2 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am concerned about his verbal behavior. That hits hard when someone you love does not treat you with the same respect that they expect of you. I understand what it is like to be "alone" and be married. I would not quit your job since it might be the only thing keeping your sanity. The good thing is you have a son that loves you so you will not forget how great love can be. Every word of negativity your husband says is eating away at your self esteem. Don't let it. Do some thing to make you happy. Even if it's read a book or join a ladies bowling team. Be happy with yourself. Don't rely on him to make you happy, you make you happy.
2006-10-26 05:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You NEVER give up your financial independence, not for anyone, or anything. The sms thing I don't quite buy - because you need emotion to get emotional, if you get my drift, but hey, whatever spurs you on!
I would not recommend you leave your job. I would in fact recommend you do your best at it and grow yourself to the point where you do not need to be dependent at all on anyone. Then, when you stay, it is because you WANT to, not because you have to, kids or no kids. As someone told me a while ago, yes, children feel the pain of separation, but children in a happy home after a sad divorce also feel the happiness trickle down to them, and that's what they will grow in.
Your son needs to rely on you. You can only be strong if you feel in control of your destiny. Without a job, where does that leave your sense of empowerment?
2006-10-26 05:36:40 · answer #4 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking about your husband so much, and start thinking about yourself. Don't leave your job; extend your education and get an even better job! Even though you are an independent woman, you are still very emotionally dependent on your husband. He knows this power he has over you and he abuses this power by being emotionally neglectful towards you and your son. You are a strong, intelligent woman. So tell him where his place is and start thinking about your needs, your wishes, and your life.
2006-10-26 05:48:14 · answer #5 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so you are fed up with his rude behavior and tauts and now you are talking about leaving your job? Sounds like he is starting to isolate you and leave you with little opinions but to stay with him. I suggest that you find a marriage counselor to get to the bottom of his rude behavior and maybe you can finally have the more loving and devoted husband you deserve after therapy. If therapy doesn't work at least you gave it a shot.
2006-10-26 05:39:56 · answer #6 · answered by avid_rafter765 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talking is the best remedy. Tell him that the Sms was for him as you love him. Leaving a job may not be in your favour as I have no knowledge of your Finances. But you can suggest that you may change the job as he may be suspecting something. Which is not true. Be ready to give a bit
2006-10-26 05:36:31 · answer #7 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can tell him, show him whatever, but if he doesn't understand now, then he won't..rude behaviour and taunts? no one should have to live like that..if he does it to you, who is to say that he won't be like that with his son? you have to protect your son from the abuse. and that is what is going on is abuse. that's not a good relationship. if your not happy your son can sense that and he can't start to pull away and not be happy either..that isn't fair to him..ask your husband if he is willing to go to counseling, if not then you should go..get professional help.don't leave your job. that is the only sainity place you have right now
2006-10-26 05:36:29 · answer #8 · answered by becca j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! My sister went through the exact same thing, only she has two kids.
What are your religious views?
As a Christan I'd advise you to stay with your Hubby & have faith that he'll change. This takes alot of prayer & faith.
Don't leave your Job unless you truly have faith in the Lord, because he is the only one who will get you through this very rough time.
2006-10-26 05:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by PeanutsMama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband you don't want to give up your Independence and the money, would be pretty boring at home unless your son is only young.
2006-10-26 05:35:55 · answer #10 · answered by grandpa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋