Breast feeding fears, your experiences and advice please?

Question

I want to breast feed when my baby is born, I have heard lots of different things about it good and bad.

does it hurt when you first start?
what does it feel like?
did you have any problems feeding your baby in public?
how did you deal with it if you did?
what about expressing milk?
does it mess with your supply?
did you find it easier to do this for feeding in public places?

Sorry, lots of questions but my midwife can't be bothered to talk to me in depth about it.

Answer 1

I breastfed my twin daughters. They were 8 weeks premature so it was difficult to get them to latch on. They used my breast for comfort and fell asleep! I expressed and gave it to them in a bottle. I did keep trying to put them on the breast as the got bigger but just as I got one settled the other would cry and I would get all in a tizz! The few times I managed to get them on the breast it was fine. They say tummy to mummy nose to nipple that way you should get no pain. If it still hurts after 10 seconds they are not on it correctly. I expressed for 7 weeks but it was hard work getting enough milk for 2 babies! I had to bottle feed them which took 45Min's or more. Then I would have to express and that took another 45Min's. I was even doing that in the middle of the night every 4 hours! I lasted 7 weeks and I'm really proud I did that long. I know if I had another baby I would breast feed even if its only for the first few weeks. If you want to feed in public just do it when babies are small its very discreet to do it. And if anyone comments tell them to mind their own business you are only using them for what nature intended... to nurture you baby. Good Luck and best wishes with your future with your baby x

Answer 2

1) Yes, it can be painful when you first start, but as long as you are getting baby latched on well, this won't last long. I've heard it called 'the 10 second curler'
2) It feels surprisingly normal. Maybe a bit kak-handed the first few times, but you need to get used to baby, and will find this at other times too.
3) Feeding in public takes confidence, which comes through practice. Start by using mother and baby rooms, all Mothercares have then, most department stores and shopping centres, and some cafes. When you feel more able to be discreet, and not worrying about flashing everything to anyone around, just a quiet corner will do.
4) Expressing milk takes practice, start early. Also introduce a bottle before approx 6 weeks. I wish I had done this, I find it hard to express, and even when I do, lo doesn't like the bottle.
5) Supply is created by demand, so it doesn't really interfere. As you feed, you will learn if and how much you want/need to express, and if you do the same thing every day, maybe always before baby gets up, then your supply will match demand.
6) I find breast easier than bottle - no bottle warming, not so much to carry, and I'm getting better at not exposing myself when I feed her!
7) There are several helpful websites, try www.babycentre.co.uk, or www.kellymom.com, both have breastfeeding sections.

There is support out there, you just have to ask the right people;- La Leche League, Association of Breastfeeding Mothers. Try googling 'breastfeeding support' for groups in your area. Theoretically your Health Visitor too, but most people find them not overly supportive and always wanting to supplement with formula.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear about your midwife. For me it hurt a lot. The lactation consultants will tell you if you are doing it "right" that it won't hurt. Well, I've never heard of anyone who didn't experience pain at first. It generally just hurts when they are latching on. Then, the pain subsides. For me, the latching on was excruciating for the first two weeks. Then for the next two weeks it was a little better, and the following two weeks even better. Get the picture? By the time 2 months had passed there was no discomfort at all.
In the beginning, it was a little troublesome nursing in public, but again, after a couple months I felt a lot more comfortable. I also utilized a blanket over the shoulder. Once baby can latch on their own, it's easier to hide your breast from public eye. They make special "nursing clothes" that help with this also.
I had a pump. I had to go back to work when my daughter was 10 weeks, so I had no choice. I had so much milk it didn't complicate anything for me. As for that being easier? No...because every time you give you babe a bottle, you have to pump right around the same time...or it will mess with your milk supply. You certainly don't want to pump in public! The breast is always the easiest. It is always ready and always the right temperature. No extra work involved!
La Leche League is a wonderful resource. They have groups in just about every area. Good luck!

Answer 4

If your midwife "can't be bothered" then I might look for another midwife! It's her job to answer your questions.....that's why you pay her! Next appointment go in with a list of questions written out and get her to answer them.

Find out if there is a La Leche League group near you.
http://www.lalecheleague.org
LLL Leaders will answer your questions for free. They may be willing to visit you at home when your baby comes. There are meetings that you can go to where you can build a support system and learn a lot about breastfeeding and parenting issues.

It may be uncomfortable when you first start, but true PAIN is NOT normal. Actual pain is an indication that there may be a problem and you need help from a Lactation Consultant or LLL Leader. Think of it this way.....you are using your body in a new way. The first time each winter that you have to shovel the driveway, it's kind of difficult. Your hands get sore and your muscles ache from the work. But as your body learns the new job, it gets easier each time. Breastfeeding is the same way.

I don't know how well I can describe how it feels. It is very different from a man sucking on you. There are wonderful hormones that are released when you nurse that make you feel all warm and relaxed and motherly. It's a very pleasant feeling and not at all sensual.

I've never had any problems feeding my three children in public. There is NO state in the USA where BFIP is against the law. Your right to BFIP is protected in over half the states. Babies have to be fed. Moms can't be locked up at home. Babies will sometimes need to feed in public.

Have a friend or relative let you know how very little they can really see while you nurse. The baby really covers everything. To me, putting a shawl or blanket over it is just a big neon sign announcing what you are doing. I think it's more discrete to just lift your shirt a little and latch baby on. They also make nursing tops that you can wear with special slits for breastfeeding.

I did express milk for my first since I had to return to work when he was 15 weeks old. I used a Medela Pump In Style. I didn't express milk for my girls....they never took bottles and only nursed. Pumping milk in addition to nursing, like to make a bottle for an outing, shouldn't mess with your supply too much. Some moms do find it hard to maintain a full supply if they do a lot of pumping. This is simply because the baby is more efficient at getting the milk out than even the best pump. I never pumped just because I was taking my baby out in public because I see breastfeeding as a normal every day occurance and didn't feel any reason to do anything else.

Hope his helps some!

ETA:
Also, get some Lansinoh cream to put on your nipples in the early days. This will help prevent dry, cracked nipples and can heal them if they do get damaged.

Answer 5

I heard lots of breastfeeding horror stories when I was pregnant. Breastfeeding stories have replaced labor stories as a frightening topic at babyshowers lately!

It sometimes does hurt when you first start, even if you are doing it correctly. The reason is, when you begin nursing, hormones are released. These hormones can cause some pain in your nipples for a few seconds while the baby is latching and before the milk begins to flow. The pain usually goes away after a few seconds of nursing. Some women experience more pain due to a bad latch, thrush, or other issues. If there is pain beyond the first week, or if the pain is severe, you really should be evaluated by a board-certified lactation consultant, or you should at least call a La Leche League Leader for advice.

I really can't describe what nursing feels like. It's one of those indescribable feelings that only mothers know about. I like the feeling of my baby nursing. It's comforting to me knowing she's being nourished by my body. A baby's tounge makes tiny movements that cannot be mimicked by anything else. I'm currently nursing a baby and a toddler, and even the toddler can't nurse the same way the baby can. It's something that's unique to babies, something that my toddler lost at around 15 months old when my milk went away (due to pregnancy).

I never have had any problems with feeding my baby in public. I just do it. I don't like sitting down when we're out and about, so I'm frequently holding my baby and nursing while walking through stores or while running errands. I'm very discreet even though I never use a blanket, and most people can't tell. They don't expect a baby to be nursing if you're walking around, in any case!

I express milk daily, but not for in public use. I work outside the home so I have to pump in order to provide milk for my baby while I'm away, and to maintain my supply. It has not messed with my supply at all. When I was pumping for my oldest, it actually increased my supply. Some women are not responsive to pumps, but I am very responsive and alway get a pretty good yield. I can usually freeze some milk after making all the bottles for the next day's meals. I have never fed a bottle in public so I have no experience with that. I can't imagine how it would be easier to bottle feed in public. Nothing is easier than nursing your baby-- you don't have to think about taking bottles and milk with you, sanitation is never an issue, it's always at the right temperature... just easier all around in my opinion. Pumping is a lot more of a pain than nursing, so don't do it if you don't have to!

I'm sorry your midwife won't talk to you about your nursing concerns. Perhaps you should find a new midwife who cares about your concerns and will take the time to talk to you in depth. If that is not an option, call your local la leche league group and start going to meetings. It is important to get a support system in place now while you're pregnant so you have somone to call if there are issues in the early weeks of breastfeeding.

Answer 6

Hi there
I have been breastfeeding my daughter since she was born, she is now 6 1/2 months old. I still remember I had all the same fears as you do! Its is great that you are considering breastfeeding as it is so great for both you and you little one.
To answer your questions.....
Yes it can be a little sore at first, some women get cracked nipples (including me!) but you can buy some Lanisoh cream that helps and the soreness soon passes.
For me it now feels like a warm tingle when your milk comes in it is a hard feeling to describe!
Have had no problems dealing with breastfeeding in public, I was so scared of this at first but it is easy to be discreet once you have the hang if it and people don't really seem to notice!
I did express milk, it is nice as then other people can feed the baby and give you a break. But everyone is different and you will have to see how your supply goes.
Hope that answers some of your questions. There is a breastfeeding support board on ivillage which is great and will help you if you have any more questions.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
Michelle x

Answer 7

First of all - yes it hurts like hell at first, but just grit your teeth and get through it, after a couple of weeks you won't feel a thing. It is not that bad once they are feeding properly, the worst bit is getting them latched on. Keep your breasts dry, use breast pads and change them often. At first you may feel akward feeding in public (I did), but you will soon become more confident and able to feed discreetly anywhere. Never hide in a toilet to feed your baby, it is perfectly natural and why should your baby have lunch in a toilet. If you are uncomfortable at first, many places such as Mothercare have feeding rooms to use rather than toilets. No one ever challenged me for feeding my son, I think most people are not bothered by it, but if they had they would have regretted it!
I found expressing quite difficult, especially at first, a breast pump does not work the same way as your baby, and it takes forever to express a full feed - it really is easier to just feed them yourself unless it is a one off occasion that you will be apart from your baby.
The first few weeks of breast feeding will probably be hard, but stick with it, it does improve and in the long run is much easier, cheaper and better for you and baby. I fed my son for 14 months and would do it again. It feels nice because it it a special quiet time that only you share with your baby, and I think it helps create a strong bond between you and your child. Just try to persevere through the first few weeks, it will be worth it, but if it turns out not to be possible for some reason then don't beat yourself up about it, at least you tried.

Answer 8

It is certainly different for all women! I had a lot of trouble and found it painful but got there in the end. Other friends said it was easy and had no problems.... It is very hard to say. If it is hard it can be quite depressing and painful so seek help - there are a few charities such as the NCT and La Leche which are very helpful. My local hospital in Brighton had a breastfeeding counsellor - she came to my house 2 days after the birth and really helped. Whatever you do do not be pressurised into it. If you are unhappy breastfeeding don't feel like you are a bad mother and you SHOULD do it. We are all different (mothers and babies) and sometimes things don't work!

I tried expressing and never managed it so gave up. I fed both my kids mainly with breast but also with the odd bottle and found that worked really well and gave me a break too!

Breastfeeding in public was never an issue. I just did it and it never bothered me but I know some women have issues with this. I really can not understand why though! It is natural and nobody can really see much anyway.

Good luck.

Answer 9

hi,
breast feeding :~) Its a basic affair, In which YOU are BoSS!!
hold baby in the arm, horizontally across your body. Turn the head directly to face the nipple. Open baby`s mouth (they really are wide if you see a baby cry) and bring it to the nipple, this next part is the `Latch`, put as much of the nipple & arela into the mouth as can be put in . it sort of starts then. it might be like a jumpy start the first few times!! Look at the mouth when baby feeds from the breast, the bottom lip should touch the chin.
Look at real photos of babys at feed !! That helped me!!
Also, milk will make breasts sore at 3 days then drip more of less constantly for about 3 months . At about 3 months the body stops doing this and milk will come out at the feed when the baby stimulates the glands to produce milk.
Breast feeding is something you have to persvere with if its difficult at first. I had a terrible time for days Until I got the Latch right(the photos!)
Feeding in public: Use a light weight neck scarf to cover baby.
Could`nt get hang of expressing milk but good luck!
The N.C.T. (national childbirth trust) are helpfull!
Enjoy*

Answer 10

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

does it hurt when you first start? It can be a bit of a toe curler at first, yes. But if it hurts too much then you need to relatch the baby, it can't be on correctly.
what does it feel like? At first you will feel strong tugging but you soon get used to it. Be prepared for soreness as your milk comes in on the 3rd-4th day just feed frequently and it will soon pass.
did you have any problems feeding your baby in public? No never had any problems. Practise feeding discreetly at home till you feel confident, then you can feed happily wherever you are.
how did you deal with it if you did? n/a but on Kelly mom there are some answers to people who are nasty about breastfeeding.
what about expressing milk? Good for if you want to leave baby with daddy or granny. Wait till you have been feeding at least 6 weeks though, then your supply should be well established.
does it mess with your supply? No, see above
did you find it easier to do this for feeding in public No, I never really got on with a breast pump. It is so easy feeding in public and if you don't feel comfortable so many places have mum and baby rooms anyway.

The best advice I can give you is to research as much as you can before baby is born. I go on the breastfeding board on Babycentre and regularly look up information on Kellymom. I am currently feeding my 12 months old son, it is wonderful to know that you are doing the best thing in the world for your baby, good luckxx