i've heard a lot of stories about how people get really nervous just before their wedding day, and they dont want to get married anymore. but of course, they end up going through with it and ends happily ever after. SO, as for me, i am so excited to get married but im feeling weird about it. i love him so much, he's the best things thats ever happened to me. is this what people talk about? "blue wedding"? does everyone go through this?? am i just REALLY nervous?
2006-10-25 20:29:36 · 17 answers · asked by bonnie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is perfectly normal, actually. It takes all our faith to trust all our happiness and freedom in someone else's hands. Despite everything that you have or haven't shared with the person whi is soon-to-be your spouse, there is always an iota of doubt aout whether he/she will change after marriage and what about wedding smoothly. Will there be problems orwill everything go as smoothly as planned? This is perfectly normal, dear but the best thing to linger your thoughts on now is the romance and love you both share. Despite anything that can or may happen in wedding, whether it turns out as expected or not, whether your bridal dress and makeup is perfect or not, whether you get best wedding photos and videos or not, nothing, absolutely nothing can change the feelings you both have for each other and you can makeup for everything by sharing and living the best moments together for the rest of your lives. My best wishes are with you.
2006-10-25 20:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Found this on the net!! Hope it helps
Suffering from pre-wedding jitters or is this a real mistake?
Pre-wedding Nerves
Marriage is an enormous step in anyone's life and last minute panics are inevitable. Just think what you are doing. As a single person you have enjoyed all the romance, love and sexual experiences that make up a serious relationship. It has all been great fun getting to know your future partner. But marriage - that is not 'just fun' - that is something else.
Marriage is a commitment. A binding promise to focus all those romantic dreams, all those fantasies, all those desires on one person, for the rest of your life.
Is it any surprise then that a little voice suddenly shouts out a warning in your mind? Time has slipped by since that ring was placed on the third finger of the left hand, the sparkle of the diamond is not quite so bright as in that romantic haze of ecstasy and romance when those first promises were made. As time passes, each partner in turn may step back a little, bewildered by the speed of events, the complexities of the wedding arrangements and the sudden realisation of the effect that marriage will have on the rest of their lives. So many commitments are being made - a partner, a mortgage, children? It is scary!
If, before your wedding, you never experience a single moment of hesitation or doubt about the future, you are either very, very lucky or you are still playing a romantic game and have not really stopped to think seriously of the step that you are about to take. Hopefully, most doubts fade in the arms of your partner, melt away when sweet words are whispered in your ear and are replaced by tender feelings of love when you close your eyes and see your lover's face.
But what do you do if the doubts remain? If the voice in your mind insists "No! I don't want this to happen". Maybe there are unfulfilled ambitions in your life and that voice is saying "I don't want this to happen now - not yet - too soon!"
Calling It Off
Some relationships are more volatile than others and the passion of making up more than compensates for the squabbling. The important point here is to know what you are quarrelling about; if it is basically some trivial annoyance that will be forgotten next week then it will probably blow over. If, however, the quarrel represents an important basic conflict between you and your partner then, if the marriage is to succeed, that conflict must be resolved either by a compromise or a change in attitude or behaviour.
When you feel you can not go on with the wedding plans, what do you do?
Do not wait until the last moment. If you are severely disturbed at the prospect of the marriage taking place, then the sooner you make your feelings known the better it will be for everyone.
2006-10-25 20:34:40 · answer #2 · answered by kirsty m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let that feeling over power your love for your fiancee.If you aren't in love with him then you shoud think that you shouldn't marr him.But from what I gather is that you guys are going to have a good life.This is the time where you are going to be very nervous because this is a new beginning for you and you are hoping that you aren't making a big mistake.You aren't making a mistake if you guys are in love and trust as you should know is the foundation of a realtionship.There are things like compromise and understanding that goes hand in hand and if you guys ave this then I think that you have a golden relationship.This is something that most people haven't experience "true love" you are lucky to be one to experience.Go with God and have a ball of a happily ever after.One more thing if you guys have a spat every now and again that is perfectly normal because think of a too perfect relationship.Boring huh? Enjoy your wedding day and feel all the joys and thrill walking up to him while he is waiting with a smile that is as nervous as your on that isle.
2006-10-25 21:18:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's the best thing that's ever happened to you, then it's probably just nerves. DON'T get married just because you want to get married. If you have any doubts at all; like if he's done things in the past that you didn't like; don't go through with it. I had doubts because of different things he did and the way he treated me at times, but THOUGHT it would get better. Boy, was I wrong! If both of you are very much in love and he's given you no reason to doubt anything, then you probably just have the "nervous jitters" from too much excitement. Good Luck!
2006-10-25 20:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to be really nervous before a wedding. some people even do crazy things because of imaginary fears. i know someone who actually rejected his future bride a month before the wedding because he thought that he could not afford her. he told her that he is not marrying her anymore and would not talk to her inspite of her pleadings. devastating? there is a twist to this...three weeks after the rejection he came to his senses and finally married her on the exact wedding date that they planned. however, instead of the beautiful church wedding that they planned for years, he married her in a county court without a wedding ring or the proper dress. what was really funny (and a little sad), at the point where they should exchange rings (and they had none) the judge pointed out to them that a wedding ring makes a marriage more meaningful. both of them were disappointed because it was not exactly their envisioned wedding. but they got married inspite of the FEAR/s. they are celebrating life now and living happily with their sons.
i think you should spend a quiet time just thinking about the reasons for your nervousness. do you have doubts/insecurities about your partner? what are the things that scare you most? once you have the answers discuss it with your partner. be honest about your concerns. love conquers all....what you need to strengthen that love is good , open and honest exchange of thoughts and feelings.
so go ahead, be nervous....it is normal to be apprehensive... BUT do not be overwhelmed....face your fears...talk about it....overcome it.....and BE HAPPY!
wishing you the best
2006-10-25 21:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by Arie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the exact same way. I was excited but feeling weird. That's because you are facing a big change in life, and even though it is a good one, changes are kind of scary. It isn't HIM you are nervous about, it is losing your childhood, growing up, becoming a woman, letting go of the past. I think your feelings are very normal, and I am still happily married after ten years, so it will be fine. Congratulation!
2006-10-25 20:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by MissM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you. I lived with my husband for 2 years before we finally tied the knot. We had a son and everything. The day of our wedding I cried like a baby. I was scared out of my mind...even though I knew nothing was really going to change. It is a big step in your life as a woman. The name you have known for the first 20 to 30 some years is no longer yours. You are no longer thinking as a individual but as a couple. You are making a life long commitment, which has never happened before. So hell yeah, it's okay to be scared, but if he's the right one, it is so worth it!!!
2006-10-25 20:33:41 · answer #7 · answered by mel_lea1025 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself some questions and really be honest with yourself. Do I love him? What does or can bother me about him (there is always something, nobody is perfect even if you think they are; and think of the worst thing since it will amplify once you have been married for awhile)? Can you live with that/those "things" for the rest of your life; with children, financial struggles and everything else that can occur during in a marriage? The truth is you have to love someone enough to go through hell with them and at the end of the day, still be able to realize why you still love them. That is love and devotion.
There is no one person who can tell you if you are meant to be with someone except you and only when you are thinking with your heart as well as your mind.
And yes, I think it is completely normal to have "cold feet" since you are going to be making a commitment and fear making the wrong choice but if you can ask yourself those questions, be honest with yourself and still have faith in your love....you have your answer. Good luck.
2006-10-25 20:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is common.
Most go ahead and get married and have no regrets.
If you are really start feeling it is wrong. you gotta give what you are doing some seriuos thought. Buy, it sounds like you adore the guy......so you are just having what some call the pre wedding jitters. You will be fine
2006-10-25 20:46:10 · answer #9 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're referring to the 'wedding blues'. Well, anyone in their right mind would 'feel' something at the onset of a huge change in their lives. Relax.
If you love him and he loves you, and respect him as much as he does you...Don't worry...
Whatever fate has in store for you and your partner can only be changed by you and your partner. As I will always say...Life is a bumpy journey, just sit back, buckle up and enjoy the ride...
Plus, if you happen to throw up along the way...it will just add on to the fun!
Good Luck and Congratulations gurl...Take a deep breath...
WOO-Saaa....
2006-10-25 20:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋