What do you do when your first true love chose someone else out of a stupid mistake and has been begging for forgiveness for 7 years and you know you love them and they love you ack. You know that you are supposed to be with this person but now you are in a relationship, you love the person you are with but dont fell that you are in love with them? I love my first love and my fiance but my first loved wants to get married and so does my fiance, but I still love my first love and I feel that I am not in love with my fiance. Should I leave my fiance for my true love or should I stay b/c I made a commitment and I could possibly regret leaving????? Please help me. I know I want to be with my true love but I am afraid of making the wrong decision.
2006-10-25 19:55:45 · 13 answers · asked by Southern Girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im not trying to be cruel I fell in love with this other guy in high school and then we split I moved and I thought I was in love and now everything just seems to be falling apart. My fiance is not the guy I thought he was and part or me thinks that I was trying to replace my first true love with my fiance and I have been disappointed ever since.
2006-10-25 20:01:55 · update #1
We've been engaged for 4 years, and I have love this other guy for about 9 years. Now we live in different states. I'm just confused and I know most of you are thining that Im nuts, but thanks I honestly appreciate the advice.
2006-10-25 20:04:17 · update #2
i think you already answered your own question. i dont think it is a good idea for you to get married to the man you are with now. you will be hurting the both of you. maybe you can delay the wedding and give yourself a chance to see who you want to be with. it is true that you never forget your first love. but dont do something out of obligation and dont live with the "what ifs". give yourself that chance to find what you really want. good luck
2006-10-26 14:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by jessie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know exactly where your at..is there any way you can get away from both of them for a couple of days,,then examine why it didn't work out btween u an th first guy to begin with..what all was wrong w' th relatonship and him.. and how you do really feel about your fiance..what do you love about him..is that worth giving up for a guy who wsan't sure about you b4.. I think most of all you really really need some time to yourself right now away from the both of them, to work out exactly whats in your head and heart. Just remember not to romantacise the past..give it all some real hard core honest with yourself thought. Good Lck on whatever you decide, i know it's tough!
2006-10-25 20:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by ~*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it is a tough decision and we all see the road when it splits. The thing is... which road do we take? My advice to you is the road less traveled. If you stay in the relationship with your fiance but you are not in love with him you are taking the road most traveled. I don't know how involved you are with him and his family but he has to be the man you love and want to be with in order to marry him. Also, your first love should be considerate of the fact that you are in this relationship and if he truly loves you he will let you choose and not choose for you. It has to be what you want otherwise it's not gonna work. Take time to think about both of them and why you would choose one over the other which is husband material? Who will you be happy with? What do you want for yourself...and who will help you get there?
Good Luck!
2006-10-25 20:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by Shelly7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your finacee the dignity and respect he deserves and tell him how you feel and what is going on.
YOU dont know what you want much less who you love.
look into the future...in 10 or 20 yrs from now...who would you want to be with?
First loves are over-rated and fiance's are never forever.
You need to think about the facts some more before you make a commitment like marriage.
2006-10-25 20:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE BOTH! you need some time to think and be on your own, tell them both you need some space and have no contact with them at all for a couple of weeks and that has to be fair, you cant keep in contact with one and not the other. your heart will soon tell you who you should be with and who you really miss!
Once you know then you can make your decision!
Goodluck
PS- People always think the grass is greener on the other side and it normally isnt!!!!
2006-10-25 20:19:12 · answer #5 · answered by kirsty m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick that bastard hard and see your life with your fiance .
Strictly recommended.
common dear what r u doing the man who could not make decision before 7 years cannot do now. What is begging -for me it is foolishness , if he is man and loves you , he must convince everyone and come forward not that you run away with him living your innocent fiance. Ofcoarse if your fiance is Gentleman , well settled then common make your mind and give your best of LOVE to him.Remember if you give more LOVE you gain love
2006-10-25 20:06:52 · answer #6 · answered by sm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your stituation same as my wife's stituation.
she's in love with her penpal (china guy) since 10 years but failed coz of both of others country (We're malaysian). Since 8 years We met and started together and having 2 son (5 & 2). After my wife met him face to face for 6 days, she's asking for divorced and she's still in love with this guy.
Is this funny or jokes?
We been a happy family with 2 sons and she's wanna hold her 1st true love by leaving me and kids. We been together every single moment ----> engagement, married, 1st. - 6th. Anniversary, 1st. born - 2nd. born son, buying new car, buying new apartment, both design our own house, planning our 2 sons future..... etc.
What's my wife been through with that guy? Fantasy? Dreams?
i'm still struggling to ask her back by asking some question like...
When we been through together, Are you happy with what we been through together as mentioned above????? am still waiting her answer....
Here's your questions.....
Are you happy....
- when you accept your fiance be your dearest?
- when you accept to engagement?
- when you both dating?
- when you two planning for future?
**conclusion is YOU don't know anything about your
<1st. true love> for years**
Is this a life to gamble?
2006-10-25 20:28:32 · answer #7 · answered by peter71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything that you have doubts about-that includes both guys! Don't marry the one you love second best-he deserves better! I wonder why you would even want the one who picked someone else over you!
2006-10-25 20:06:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
feelings and memories remain for life. true is true-first love is the most special outside of family. always will be remembered.
2016-05-01 13:19:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not burden yourself with unnecessary dilemma or guilt. Follow your heart but explain the whole situation to your fiance
2006-10-25 20:41:08 · answer #10 · answered by Pierrot le fou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋