My girlfriend just infprmed me that she has read one of my private letters ( it was from a family member My family ) 1 week ago and i am afraid I got a little more than upset what should I do say I am sorry or get out of her life for good and for ever ?
2006-10-25 18:52:57 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
little privacy will be good, u can discuss with her if u don't like her read your letters...trust is the most important thing we need in love...
2006-10-25 19:01:54 · answer #1 · answered by chow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I beleive in some and limited privacy.. I mean we all have our litlle secerts we keep in our hearts... I am of the nature of a loner, tho married 30 yrs, and I have my space and hubby has his... we share important moments and thoughts and dreams, it is up to each couple to determine the limits of privacy... but, as individuals we are and should have our own private things... If you are like me and privacy is important, YOU need to sit her down and explain your feelings and limits and why it is this way... no need to be angry if and when she crosses the line, she will, and you will... it happens, just keep the lines of communication open for explaining the whys and stuff..... if it helps, when things, like letters arrive, tell her a small portion of info. of what is going on, set your limits, and then lock the letter up, give her the same option, of having a private box to keep her secrets safe too... drastic, yes, but this is just an option... God bless
2006-10-26 02:04:17 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST YOU TWO NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. IF YOU TWO HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME (LIKE OVER 1 YEAR) THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LONG TIME AGO ABOUT HOW YOU LIKE SOME PRIVACY. IF YOU JUST BARELY STARTED GOING TOGETHER MAYBE YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR SNAPPING ON HER AND THEN EXPLAIN HOW YOU LIKE TO KEEP SOME THINGS PRIVATE AND HOW SHE NEEDS TO RESPECT THAT. IF YOU ARE IN A VERY COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP I THINK IT ONLY MAKE SENSE TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH ONE ANOTHER. I DONT SEE ANY REASON WHY YOU WOULDNT HAVE SHOWN HER THE LETTER, OR WHY YOU GOT SO UPSET THAT SHE FOUND IT AND READ IT. MAKE SURE YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED ESPECIALLY IF YOU TWO REALLY CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER. IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL IF YOU ARE HONEST ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS. NOW IS THE TIME TO HAVE THIS TALK SINCE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVENT YET.
2006-10-26 02:00:23 · answer #3 · answered by jaylove209 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were right to get upset, she should not have read your private mail . Are there other issues in this relationship? If so, then maybe you should get out of her life. If this was the first and only time this happened, then maybe you should give it more thought.
2006-10-26 01:58:20 · answer #4 · answered by Marti M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on whether or not she snooped to get some answers about you. Are you being honest and open with her. She might have done it to get information about you to help in a certain situation. If her information gathering was only to help you, then you need to talk it through and maybe say you're sorry for your reaction. If she did it to be a snoop and to gather incriminating information about you, then kick her to the curb.
2006-10-26 02:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reading somebody's letters - ewww, this is as low as she can go. did her parents teach her anything? i would dump her immediately. she is as dumb as a tree - reading somebody's letter AND telling about it later. this is just common politeness and decency not to read or touch anybody's private stuff. no matter how close u re with each other, your letter or sms or email is supposed to be yours only, if u feel like sharing it with her u would show it. otherwise even if a letter is open and is lying on the table i wouldn't touch it if it weren't addressed to me.
2006-10-26 02:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her next time you want to know something ask me do not sneak around and read my letters from my family but do that in a nice way. yes since you are not married you do not have to share everything. Just tell her in a nice way that you would rather her not read your mail. i would not think this would be a deal breaker but yea you do need to apologize if you were really really mean about it and just say i am sorry but that was a private letter from my family and i would rather you of not read it. Please next time if you want to know or read it please ask me. She should respect that. If not then that would be a deal breaker for me. Just make sure when you tell her to be nice about it and if you were mean apologize.
2006-10-26 01:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should be upset. No one needs to be reading your private letters, at least not deliberately.
This will be different if you had volunteer the information.
2006-10-26 02:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by SS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
There is no reason to split up. You need to sit down and set boundaries on eachother's spaces. Unless it is life threatening to our significant other, we do not need to tell them everything.We all need our secrets. She would not appreciate you going through her purse or reading her mail - or would she? Simply explain that people need privacy in some respects.
2006-10-26 02:04:48 · answer #9 · answered by Erik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologise for blowing up and explain that you do value your privacy. No one should read other people's mail - its bad manners. I think dumping her is a bit harsh, she may not have thought it was doing the wrong thing.
2006-10-26 01:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋