so i am talkin to a married man ...i know its wrong. but i like him so much ..hes in the military and hes wife is 23 hrs away. its weird he was honest with me and told me it wasn't goin to be able to go anywhere but i still stuck around i figured we could be friends and i could put aside my feelings but..after some time we both caught alot of feelings ..i feel so bad and i dunno what to do i am single and i feel like i shouldn't be wasting my time i should be looking for someone free. nor should i be hurtin a marriage but i can't help how i feel. we been talking for some time now and im missin him all the time..i think about him alot. i know he cares about me he calls me all the time...even if it is just to say hi or make me laugh. i just wanna know what i should do. he has a daughter...she is beautiful! he says his marriage is crap and its only there because he loves his daughter. i dont wanna cause him any problems but i dont wanna hurt myself either. plz no judgment just help.
2006-10-25 17:40:55 · 10 answers · asked by Snow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
also ....i feel like now after some time ..his feelings have changed i think he feels like it can go some where.i know he loves his wife...i just dont think he is in love with her anymore..i mean thats how he acts. i feel so horrible because i care so much for him and i shouldnt
2006-10-25 17:52:49 · update #1
Ok well probably not the answer you want to hear but I first went on Yahoo Answers for something just like this and all the negative crap that was thrown at me actually compelled me to delete my question. It also helped me to think about it after and let me tell you, it's worth it if you can get over talking to this guy and just get on with your life!!! STOP NOW! Honey, you will find someone completely free and SO worth your time, not just some guy who already has a girl and a family who is looking for something that is missing in HIS life to fill a void. Be thankful that there is someone you can always write to or turn to occasioanly that may or may not have a sympathetic ear to your problems (him) and go out and find someone unattached who's lookin and eager to hook up with a woman who's fantastic and beautiful and probably looking for all the things you have to offer.
2006-10-25 17:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put your self in his wife's shoes, how would you feel if your husband was doing that to you. And using his daughter for the excuse to stay in the marriage is for the birds. You need to just go on and find a man that doesn't already have someone. It is people like you AND your man friend that breaks up family's. Leave him alone and let him go back to his wife where he belongs in the first place. IF he is having as much problems with his marriage as you say, then tell him to leave her, get a divorce and then you will talk to him. Other wise you get out of it now.
2006-10-26 00:58:16 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, my husband is in the military and was my ex husband. I can tell you that you should find someone unattached. Not for all the "his family" reasons everyone else is giving you but for your own peace of mind. Yes, it is possible that it may work between you two and he may leave his wife. That is unlikely but if that does happen then you will forever be questioning what the two of you have. I have been there. I cheated on my ex and was with the man I cheated with for 3 years and it was always there that "if I got with him while cheating who's to say I wouldn't do it again" )on his part, or "If he was the other man for me, how do I know that he doesn't have another woman?" Relationships that start on mistrust will stay on mistrust and will eventually end that way as well.
Save yourself the heartache and get out while you can still move on.
2006-10-26 00:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by shannon_ida 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey stressin... I'm a 50yr old woman (I quit bn a lady yesterday). People who are married & say that they aren't happy ARE telling the truth, mostly because they expect to much from their marriage (like the other person to change into what THEY want). Maybe he married her because she got pregnant (she trapped him) & she really IS hateful, oh well. The Truth is the Child. I used to BEG my mom to leave my dad, my dad HATED ME (because mom wouldn't let dad rape me, anymore). But this kid probably misses her dad, distance makes the heart grow stronger -esp kids hearts. I had an affair when I found out my husband was gay (his family's Catholic & he married me so he didnt get excommunicated from his family, I didnt know he was gay, either). I know for a FACT that the guy I went out (I WAS Married) with didnt respect me, even tho I quit havin sex w/my husband long ago. I eventually realized (after the divorce) I really didnt love the guy, he was a necessary tool I needed at the time, after my divorce I realized I Didn't Want Him (at the time I THOUGHT Loved Him) & it was after I divorced him that He (finally) realized he loved me... go figure. My Point is: when someone has to COMPLAIN in order to get sex, the person that they are complaining TO & having sex WITH Almost Always Ends Up Alone, because they are the 'Tool' that fixes their 'Temporary' problem. He probably HATES the control his wife has, but SHE Does OWN His Heart, or he'd be divorced. & there IS a probability that he needs someone to take his insecurities out on (you're not the 1st), to stay VERAL. He WILL SAY ANYTHING until he gets tired of you or you start to be too NEEDY & this will happen. This doesnt really make You or Him bad people, just Human. He simply doesnt want to give up the Rush that 'New Love' gives & neither do you (dating a married person is 'Comittment Free' & emotionally Safer)... But it Isnt Real & the CHILD really should account for MORE because Her Love IS Real. Best of Luck to You... If you believe in 'what goes around cums around' (or Karma), you'll get out quick. The kids the one crying, again. Are You REALLY Happy w/Him, anyway?
2006-10-26 03:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by Pam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no possible way anyone could answer you without making some kind of judgment. Your wrong, He's wrong, wake up - not only will you be the cause of a divorce but responsible for the brake-up of a family. What makes things worst is the mother may be very vindictive and cause her daughter restriction to her father.. Now put yourself in the little girls shoes;;; how you feel.
2006-10-26 00:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by denfasr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you need to go on your own way. You shouldn't even need to ask what you should do! He has a girl with his wife and obviously he only likes you for a friend otherwise he wouldn't have told you it wouldn't go anywhere. Do you really want to be the reason behind a broken marriage and family??? I think you know what you need to do..... Besides, put yourself in his daughters shoes or his wife's shoes, would you want a woman breaking your family up???? I really hope you make the right decision. Not to mention, if it was my man, I would come kick your @ss!
2006-10-26 00:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by cherry_kissez376 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. He's doing enough damage to his marriage, He isn't trustworthy anyway. All marriages have tough times, thats why they say "for better or WORSE". They don't say bail out when it's worse. You feel bad because you wouldn't want it to happen with your future husband either.
Stop talking to him. Cut off all contact. Don't put yourself in a position to make it worse later down the road. And next married guy you meet pass up. Don't have many conversations with them. You can't develope true strong feelings for someone you don't know, so don't take the time to get to know the wrong guys. Good luck, i know how hard this will be but better sooner than later.
2006-10-26 00:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by suzyQ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to this, you are just looking for justifications to continue it. Don't cause this guy to lose his family. If he won't do it, then you do it. Break it off before there is a lot of heart ache you will be responsible for. Anyway, this guy is lying to his wife everytime he talks to you. What makes you think he won't also someday lie to you? Be the bigger person and call all this off before it gets way too far out of hand, no matter how hard it is for you.
2006-10-26 00:48:33 · answer #8 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
baby please get you someone that is single, a married man will tell you any thing to sleep with you then go back home. i thought you knew the game, i am telling you from experience. he is not going to leave her. its not just about that little girl believe me. see you are sitting at home lonely and he is with his wife at home kicking it. sleeping together and watching movies and all the other stuff he does with you. he just want the best of both worlds.
2006-10-26 00:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by sweet sexy san 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
find someone unattached, less complicated...and u can love him without reservations...
2006-10-26 00:43:56 · answer #10 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋