My gf's grandmother was struck by a garbage truck today and passed away, I am having trouble communicating wit her because i'm not very good with deaths. Also her grandfather was diagnosed with cancer and under the circimstances of his wifes death, he does not want to receive treatment. I really don't know what to say, can anyone help me. I really like her and want her to be happy.
2006-10-25 16:56:58 · 20 answers · asked by grinter87 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
just tell her how much you love/care for her her & are there for her. hold her when she cries & listen to her when she talks about things. that is about all you can do, but it really will mean a lot to her.
you can cheer her up sometimes by making her laugh if you are good at that! but sometimes she will need to cry & be sad. its ok for her to do that and don't feel bad if that happens from time to time. it is how you deal with things.
it is really about being there & listening, rather than saying things.
2006-10-25 17:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by christy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She isn't going to be happy. She just lost her grandmother, and her grandfather will follow soon. It's simply not a happy situation. It's especially difficult when she didn't die of natural causes.
All you can do is console your friend, be there for her, and let her talk to you about her grandmother. Encourage her to do so, in fact, because the memories are all she will have.
I don't know how old her grandmother was -- it's likely she was only in her 50s or 60s, and that isn't really old by modern standards. But you can suggest to her that living long enough to see her children grown, and to have grandchildren, was an accomplishment that must have given her a great deal of pleasure.
It's hard to face right now, but death comes to everyone. If she is religious, she can look forward to meeting her grandmother in the next world. If she isn't, her consolation will have to be here, with the life her grandmother lived and the things she accomplished.
You sound like a good friend. Right now, just be there for her.
2006-10-25 17:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is no way she is going to be happy right now. She will have to learn to live with the pain. It will fade after time. Go with her to her priest, minister, rabbi . . . They console people every day. They do it for a living. They are professionals. They have training you don't, unless you are a p, m or r.
2006-10-25 17:12:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alot depneds on her religious beliefs. I believe she will see her again and that she is happy where she is. Also just be there for her i know that was the bigest thing when my grandpa died was just knowing someone was there when I needed them. Let her know you care and that you will do whatever you can but that you aren't good with deaths either. Be honest but let her know you care and that you are there for her
2006-10-25 17:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best gift you can give your girlfriend is to be there for her. Do not try too hard to console her or you will appear fake. Let her mourn and help her out abit
2006-10-25 17:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by ngina 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Right now she is not to be happy.......she needs her time to go through all the stages of grief and feel them..........only by doing that do we come out on the other side complete and happy. The best thing you can do for her right now is to be there for her when she needs you............and listen to her......please listen, and hear her! Time heals all!
2006-10-25 17:04:17 · answer #6 · answered by canyonview11 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just be with her, hold her hand and let her grief. Often, just be there, showing care and listening would be sufficient. It takes a professional to help people suffering from such trauma.
God bless you and your gf.
2006-10-25 17:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by ele81946 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you got alot of good advice just listen let her cry and when she is ready she may talk about it. Just be there for her no matter what. You can offer to run erans for her if she has any to do. But you main thing you want to do is listen and be there for her.
2006-10-25 17:06:13 · answer #8 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i lost my best friend to cystic fibrosis in june, and i was sooo annoyed of everyone trying to be there for me, i know it sounds mean and bitchy but its the way i felt, and his family felt the same way as well, and all i can say is dont be so pushy, give her time and her space, I'm sure she has a lot of emotions inside that only she feels. be there for her, but dont overwhelm her, there isnt much to say, except that you will be there for whatever she needs yout o do for her, good luck
2006-10-25 17:01:16 · answer #9 · answered by Gloria M 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just be extra nice to her and be there for her when she wants to talk with you about it. Above all be respectful of her family no matter how unpleasantly they might express their grief.
2006-10-25 17:08:14 · answer #10 · answered by synchronicity915 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋